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Original poster

Cease and desist letter to abusive neighbour

14 replies

wherehaveallthegoodfolkgone · 18/07/2025 23:08

How effective are they ?

Eight year history of ongoing abuse and neighbour harassment, started when my husband left - I think they saw me as a weak single woman and launched in . Couple, early 70s , constantly slamming doors, 3am, 5am - etc enough to make the whole house reverberate. Petty ongoing demands (you need to cut your hedge down it's over the legal limit -2.2m instead of 2) you need to deal with your wasps nest we can't eat in our garden, you need to sort your drainpipe it's dripping on our shed. I've immediately complied with every single request including putting their bins out for them and putting the bins back for over 10 years as they often visited their second home for the weekend.
In return I've asked that they don't slam doors in the night and be mindful of our thin walls but I'm met with blank stares & "we don't know what you're talking about it's not us". I have a disability that makes sleep difficult so the constant awakening has seriously impacted me.
Because of my disability I work from home and my (silent, unobtrusive) work is a blessing to me. To think of losing it would be heartbreaking, but I can't endure anymore.
. I feel hopeless as everything I've tried - talking politely, messages, emails , letters, pleas , tears - everything is ignored and they won't leave me alone. It's like they're bored and malicious - but to me, they psychopaths. I lost my mother and father in the last three years and I'm completely broken.
I either move, lose my home and my income - or I take the plunge and have a solicitor serve them with a cease and desist letter then injunction if they pay no heed. I played a recording to my doctor last week, she was horrified. Do these letters have much impact on nasty people like this ?
Should I fight for my home ?

OP posts:
Neodymium · 18/07/2025 23:09

Stop taking their bins out for one.

savvy7 · 18/07/2025 23:52

I doubt it would be effective and may make matters worse. The older people get, the more they become engrained in their habits in my opinion.

savvy7 · 18/07/2025 23:54

How big is your house? Is it possible to sleep or work from another room? Would some white noise help?

How healthy are these two neighbours? Might there be light at the end of the tunnel?

savvy7 · 18/07/2025 23:57

PS I'm replying as someone who has endured neighbour issues previously - it's one of the most stressful life events and there is little support out there.

Original poster
wherehaveallthegoodfolkgone · 19/07/2025 07:36

savvy7 thanks for your reply. Argh they're as fit as fiddles. No light on that particular tunnel

OP posts:
Sosigrole · 19/07/2025 07:40

Would you have to declare it if you decided to sell?, I would be worried about that

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 19/07/2025 07:42

Move. It won’t stop and if you issue the letter you will have to declare a neighbour dispute when you sell and you will never sell.

NeverHadHaveHas · 19/07/2025 07:44

I would move - but you should disclose neighbour disputes if the buyer’s solicitor raises the standard property enquiries which they almost certainly will. If I was a buyer it would definitely put me off.

labradorservant · 19/07/2025 09:05

Stop doing the bins for starters.

Linenpickle · 19/07/2025 12:52

why would you take their bins?? Stop this for starters.

dick27 · 19/07/2025 12:58

I am in a not dissimilar position. I'm afraid nothing has worked for me so far. And a solicitor even suggested a cease and desist wouldn't work with my neighbour. Have you tried environmental health about the noise nuisance?

AddictedToBooks · 19/07/2025 13:40

wherehaveallthegoodfolkgone · 18/07/2025 23:08

How effective are they ?

Eight year history of ongoing abuse and neighbour harassment, started when my husband left - I think they saw me as a weak single woman and launched in . Couple, early 70s , constantly slamming doors, 3am, 5am - etc enough to make the whole house reverberate. Petty ongoing demands (you need to cut your hedge down it's over the legal limit -2.2m instead of 2) you need to deal with your wasps nest we can't eat in our garden, you need to sort your drainpipe it's dripping on our shed. I've immediately complied with every single request including putting their bins out for them and putting the bins back for over 10 years as they often visited their second home for the weekend.
In return I've asked that they don't slam doors in the night and be mindful of our thin walls but I'm met with blank stares & "we don't know what you're talking about it's not us". I have a disability that makes sleep difficult so the constant awakening has seriously impacted me.
Because of my disability I work from home and my (silent, unobtrusive) work is a blessing to me. To think of losing it would be heartbreaking, but I can't endure anymore.
. I feel hopeless as everything I've tried - talking politely, messages, emails , letters, pleas , tears - everything is ignored and they won't leave me alone. It's like they're bored and malicious - but to me, they psychopaths. I lost my mother and father in the last three years and I'm completely broken.
I either move, lose my home and my income - or I take the plunge and have a solicitor serve them with a cease and desist letter then injunction if they pay no heed. I played a recording to my doctor last week, she was horrified. Do these letters have much impact on nasty people like this ?
Should I fight for my home ?

I have the same type of neighbours, also in their 70s who live opposite me - from the moment I became disabled, they decided that they hated me (we'd been perfectly friendly before) - their passive aggressive behaviour went on for years and then suddenly escalated into verbal abuse, gossiping about me to other neighbours (telling everyone that I was lying about being disabled) and even storming over as a couple and actively trying to stop council workers from painting a disabled bay outside my house (which I'd had to provide definite proof of being disabled to even be considered for the bay).

I also told my GP who was utterly disgusted and actually said that she felt like sending them a copy of my MRI results which proved that I'm disabled with a degenerative spinal stenosis. Obviously she didn't, but it felt good to know that my GP was on my side.

One day, I politely but firmly informed them that IF they continued to harrass me, then I would be "contacting my solicitor and taking legal action" - since then, they've left me alone, aside from the occasional filthy look - but I just ignore them completely - I don't avoid them though and I don't avoid making eye contact either - it's just that when we DO see each other, I keep my facial expression totally neutral as if they simply aren't there and I'm not seeing them.

I hope you get some resolution - often once they realise that you're prepared to go to legal lengths (even if you're not really), they back down because people like this are sad, pathetic cowards.
It's really not nice being someone's target, especially when you're going through such a tough time yourself - they're obviously not happy in themselves because nobody who torments others is happy with themselves, but it's THEIR problem, not yours - next time you see them, tell them that if they continue to harass you, you will contact a solicitor with a view to taking legal action - hopefully this will be enough to scare the miserable bullies into leaving you alone.
Then just ignore them - don't hide from them, always look happy when you're in their view and don't engage with them.
They deserve no more of your time or your headspace.

Good luck and I hope you feel happier soon x

daffodilandtulip · 19/07/2025 13:45

I have very similar. It took me years to realise that the first time I obeyed their commands - over where I left my bin - was the mistake I made. They've done nothing but order me around, and then turn nasty (including violence and death threats) when I refuse to do their stupid requests. I also thought, oh they're 80, how bad can it be. Bad. Really bad. And it just gets worse. Move before it's something that you have to declare, and protect your health.

Original poster
wherehaveallthegoodfolkgone · 20/07/2025 09:40

AddictedToBooks · 19/07/2025 13:40

I have the same type of neighbours, also in their 70s who live opposite me - from the moment I became disabled, they decided that they hated me (we'd been perfectly friendly before) - their passive aggressive behaviour went on for years and then suddenly escalated into verbal abuse, gossiping about me to other neighbours (telling everyone that I was lying about being disabled) and even storming over as a couple and actively trying to stop council workers from painting a disabled bay outside my house (which I'd had to provide definite proof of being disabled to even be considered for the bay).

I also told my GP who was utterly disgusted and actually said that she felt like sending them a copy of my MRI results which proved that I'm disabled with a degenerative spinal stenosis. Obviously she didn't, but it felt good to know that my GP was on my side.

One day, I politely but firmly informed them that IF they continued to harrass me, then I would be "contacting my solicitor and taking legal action" - since then, they've left me alone, aside from the occasional filthy look - but I just ignore them completely - I don't avoid them though and I don't avoid making eye contact either - it's just that when we DO see each other, I keep my facial expression totally neutral as if they simply aren't there and I'm not seeing them.

I hope you get some resolution - often once they realise that you're prepared to go to legal lengths (even if you're not really), they back down because people like this are sad, pathetic cowards.
It's really not nice being someone's target, especially when you're going through such a tough time yourself - they're obviously not happy in themselves because nobody who torments others is happy with themselves, but it's THEIR problem, not yours - next time you see them, tell them that if they continue to harass you, you will contact a solicitor with a view to taking legal action - hopefully this will be enough to scare the miserable bullies into leaving you alone.
Then just ignore them - don't hide from them, always look happy when you're in their view and don't engage with them.
They deserve no more of your time or your headspace.

Good luck and I hope you feel happier soon x

Show quote history

That's absolutely horrendous but so familiar sounding. It's particularly hurtful to have a disability minimised, they've done that to me - " well you look completely fine!".
Also the slandering to other neighbours, so so hurtful.

I have threatened with legal action, the response was "you can do what you like"

daffodilandtulip - that's exactly it, once you oblige they continue to order you around and become nasty when you don't comply!

OP posts:
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