Ex Now Refusing 50/50 After Agreeing

[Wiseman1984]

Hi MN,

A bit of background, my ex wife and I have been at loggerheads for over a year now regarding child arrangements of our 8yo. This all began when she moved my child away, in with her new boyfriend of 8 months, wanted to move schools and reduce my time with him. This is the 3rd boyfriend in 5 years, another baby and 6 house moves on her part!

I successfully blocked the school move but she still decided to move in with the new boyfriend. 5 months later it all goes wrong, my child informs me he is abusive and he is arrested.

We finally come to an agreement for our child in writing. She then goes against the agreement and starts refusing my child on my parenting days.

I have enough of this and initiate legal action to apply for 50/50 (currently I have 47%). She doesn't want to go to court, so we then agree in writing a 50/50 arrangement which we submit to court via a consent order to be made legally binding.

4 months later, she has now informed CAFCASS in her interview that she has changed her mind, and wishes to change the agreement to EOW week 1 and 1 night week 2. No reason is given, but this now means we will be going to court to battle it out.

I feel this is a control thing as she has a history of exercising power and control over me at any opportunity.

Examples include refusing me to see my child on my birthday (even though it was my parenting day), refusing my child to attend my brothers wedding who she is a flower girl for etc.

I would like some feedback or opinions as to whether you feel there is a chance the courts will agree to this? I am terrified I am now going to lose time with my child.

Our child is now thriving since we started doing 50/50 4 months ago, even the school have said so which I have in writing. I live near the school, I am very hands on, my wife and I have flexible jobs, no safeguarding concerns were raised by either CAFCASS or the mother, I am financially stable, I have a good job and my child and I have a fantastic relationship.

I just can't understand why the courts would ever decide this isn't in the child's best interest? I can't understand why my child's mother also doesn't see this is in our child's best interest but I feel it is more to spite me.

Your ex's behaviour won't go down well with the court if you can evidence it. They expect parents to act reasonably and stick to agreements. She has clearly not stuck to your agreement and is acting unreasonably. On the information you have posted, I can't see any reason why the courts would agree to reduce contact in the way she proposes. And, of course, once you have a Child Arrangements Order, you will be able to ask the courts to enforce it if she fails to follow it.

I am reopening this as we have now had a court hearing date through. Ex has opposed to the c100 consent order application and has a solicitor.

The part I am unclear on is we submitted the c100 via a consent order (which we both agreed, signed and dated) for 50/50 shared care which has been in place since March 25. However, she is now opposing the application and wants the split more in her favour (no reason given).

CAFCASS safeguarding checks all done and none raised on my part and no concerns raised by ex. Ex has a safeguarding concern raised my me and CAFCASS due to domestic abuse in previous relationship which my child was exposed to.

She has requested Thursdays back as she had these temporarily whilst my son started school and I relocated to be near to school. I did this temporarily as I felt the journey to school would be too long for my son.

However, I have had Thursdays with my child for 5 out of the 7 years we have been separated and this has been back in place for over a year.

I can’t see on what planet a court would now reduce my time with my child and grant her more. She works Thursdays whilst it is my day off so my child would be in childcare. It makes no sense to remove him from my care and put him in childcare.

I'm concerned as she has a solicitor that she has some chance of being successful so looking for some reassurance please 🙏

Your ex having a solicitor doesn't alter the facts. She can only win if she can show that there are good reasons why 50/50 is not in your child's best interests.