20 year old DS has just got a DUI

[Hobsons123]

Can anyone advise what we need to do & the likely outcome of my 20 year old DS's DUI please? DH & I are currently on holiday abroad & have had a call from my parents that he was pulled over by the police in the early hours of the previous night. He was driving his brothers car (that he's not insured on) without the lights on & when they breathalysed & swabbed him he tested positive for marijuana. He was taken to the police station and gave a blood sample. I know he'll get a ban but we're desperately worried about him having a criminal record. He's only just finished university & is graduating next month. Is there anything we should be doing?

It wasn’t the 17yo who did anything wrong, was it? Unhelpful.

These are driving licence endorsement codes.

DR80 + IN10 + UT50 = TT99.

Drugs + no insurance + taking car = no licence.

Thank you so much for the responses that have been helpful. I would just like to add a couple of things. My DS is 21 later this month & has lived independently at university for 3 years. Of course it is absolutely fine for him to be left at home whilst we go on holiday for a week. We also left our 17 year old DS. We know him & knew he would be fine. Our 17 year old will be going to university next year & living independently. My parents are 73 & 75, in very good health & live 5 minutes away. As do our siblings, friends & other grandparents.

Secondly, at no point in my OP did I ask how I could get my DS off. I'm both furious & disappointed. I whole heartedly agree he deserves to be punished, that he's an absolute idiot & he should face the responsibility of his actions. I posted to find out what he could be facing, what practical actions we should be taking and to see if any other parents had had a child in this situation. At the same time, I don't think he should have his whole future written off and I'm fairly sure I'd feel the same way if he wasn't my son.

As to what happened...he went to a gig with friends. He got the train but drove to the station. He had 1 joint at the gig at 8pm. He got back to the station at approx 12am & tried to drive home but had a flat tyre. He was near DH's work so left the car there & walked the 20 min walk home. When he got home he realised he'd left his phone in his car. He presumed he was insured on his brothers car third party through his own insurance. His brother was asleep at this point. He took the car but couldn't figure out the lights (yes, he's an idiot) & decided to do the 5 minute drive to DH's work rather than another 20 min walk. He was stopped by the police immediately. He was breathalysed but hadn't been drinking. They swabbed him & that was positive because of the joint at the gig. They called for a police van to take him to the station and whilst waiting made him do sobriety tests (I'm not sure of their official name) at the side of the road. He passed all of them. They took him to the station and did a blood test at approximately 2am. I am not condoning any of his actions in any way, but I don't think he was risking anyone's life or at risk of causing an accident by driving 4 hours after after one joint. He is now waiting for the results of the blood test from the police and will obviously be facing the consequences.

The story doesn't add up. No one who has had only one joint and has any common sense would decide to drive a car that isn't theirs with no lights because they didn't know which switch/lever to use so risking their own and others' lives because they had earlier abandoned their own car because they happened to discover it had a flat tyre as they drove near their parent's workplace and left their phone in it, even though they could have walked for 20 minutes or waited until someone could give them a lift next day. Sorry OP, more holes than a sieve. the blood sample result will be interesting.

I am amazed at the limited life experiences of some people on this site. It may be that the blood sample will reveal more, but the story has no holes at all. I've come across people who've done pretty much exactly this, in some cases with no drugs involved at all.

Just in terms of careers op. If convicted your son could encounter 2 potential problems:

1. jobs that require a DBS check. A conviction will show up and he will be asked to sign to say he will tell them about any new convictions, so he cannot hide it. Over time the importance of this type of conviction will fade. If he has no further convictions in 5 years ' time, for example, I'd expect most employers to deem it irrelevant (although he will always need to declare it). However for now jobs that require a DBS are out, no one is going to employ someone with a recent drug driving conviction.

2. jobs that require a company car/significant driving. Employers will have seen driving convictions before and it doesn't rule everyone out forever, but again it's the severity and the fact it is current that are the problems, I also wouldn't expect him to be employed.

The police, army and civil service are also unlikely to take him with a fresh conviction.

This still leaves plenty of options, so it's not the be all and end all, but it will limit his choices for some time to come.

He (and you) needs to take the long view:

Accept and work through any consequences and penalties with grace, hard as it might be.

See this as a wake up call.

Work on improving and redeeming himself, his choices, his behaviour. Maybe he could think about the people he's mixing with.
Attend self improvement things like rehab.

He needs to look at the future, get good things onto his CV like volunteering, work experience.

Get references secured. Work on earning their trust and support. A character reference from people of note.

And I think you need to strike the right balance - being supportive and there for him, as he does this, getting past your own disappointment and anxiety, putting aside any urge to do it for him.

And keep an eye on the 17 year old, make sure he's doing ok.

My DB did similar many years ago and has a criminal record because of it. As well as a fine , re take driving test , points on license and high insurance to the point he couldn't afford to drive for a long time after he was allowed.
He learnt the hard way

Best advice is get a good solicitor if you haven’t already

UK police don't do roadside sobriety tests like they do in America. I think he's having you on a bit.

You have received letters from a school telling you not to leave seventeen year olds with their adult brothers and grandparents?

That’s very specific. Are you sure your child isn’t in a youth detention centre?

Did you mean to quote me? I'm assuming not (as it would be a bit random 😆) but just in case....

I've not received letters
I stand by my position of leaving a normal sensible 17 Yr old home alone
Not when I last checked but they are home alone and I'm posting from the Bahamas 😉

@Hobsons123 he will pay a high price for those decisions (several). Was the phone worth it? It could have been so much worse if someone had been injured.

I've always thought driving offences are a lottery. Many people speed, a few still use their phone, many are distracted and they survive to do the same again. Have an accident and kill someone in any of those circumstances (even if the pedestrian stepped out in front of you) , and you'd go to to prison for dangerous driving. It could be that simple....same driving style and 'unlucky' that day

Public service announcement: not every insurance gives you the right to drive third party. Some companies don't do that. Check before you do

Yes, they do. It is called a "field impairment test". They don't always do it, but they do use this test sometimes.

Yikes, no sorry.

This updated app is almost impossible to use.

I don't think he was risking anyone's life or at risk of causing an accident by driving 4 hours after after one joint.

He was driving without lights. Could well have caused an accident if other road users couldn't see him.

I've been where you are OP. A pointer from me - it took a lot longer than we realised to be heard at court.

DS19 tested positive on a drugs swipe. It took 4 months to go to court and in that time DS hadn't lost his licence and could drive.

Going to court and facing a magistrate wasn't nice - but that's part of the lesson we hope he learns.

He confessed (to us) to two joints of weed the evening he drove. Ended up getting the minimum consequences - 12 month ban and fine (his was £400). He will also have to retake his test because he had his licence less than 2y.

My DS has a job that requires a DBS. He's a lifeguard. We thought he'd have to leave, but he didn't. He told his employer straight away and they said carry on working, wait for court and we will revisit the decision than. Following the conviction he actually went to work with his notice (assuming he'd be sacked, since the job needs a DBS) but management have been lovely with him. They said they didn't want him to leave, accepted he made an unwise decision and was remorseful and even offered flexible working hours around bus timetables.

Big lesson to learn. He was too blasé about driving under the influence from passing his test. We modeled zero drinking when driving and had warned him several times that if he wants a joint at his mates house, he can't drive home. He thought himself invincible tho. Lesson learnt.

I don't think he was risking anyone's life or at risk of causing an accident by driving 4 hours after after one joint.

It seemed to impair his judgement enough that :

a) he left his phone in his car
b) he made a choice to take a car he wasn't insured on, for a drive rather than other options like walking, or waking his brother to take him, or getting an uber, or leaving the phone where it was
c) his 'perfectly unimpaired mind' made a decision to drive a mile (and would have presumably been 2, to get him home again too) in the dark, without lights on
d) he'd had enough that the police test showed he'd had enough to be impaired.