moving 90 miles away with child

[newmummylucy]

Hello - I have posted on this issue before but am seeking more advice on the subject as I am scared I will get in trouble for just moving
I am going through divorce with husband and we are currently situated in a very expensive area of London in his home he had prior to our relationship. He has moved out and living elsewhere (I dont know where) and we currently cant release any money from the property to go towards dividing assets due to the cladding/EWS1 form issue
My family live 90 miles away and I am being told by husband I must live in either Buckinghamshire (near his family) or surrey - however I am wanting to be around my support network which is in sussex.
Husband has advised he will give me X amount of money a month for CM which is nowhere near enough and is his legal bare minimum and so I will be needing to work a lot more hours than I currently do to afford bills, food, basic living etc...In order to work more hours I feel i need my families support for childcare but my husband has point blank refused me moving and changing our childs school
I cant afford surrey with no support around me and don't feel buckinghamshire is a good option as it will isolate me from my family and means I have to rely on his for support.
My solicitor has advised I go ahead and move where I like as the worst he can do is a prohibited steps order - however this scares me a lot as he has a lot of money to throw at courts and lawyers.
He currently sees our child every other weekend and many times that has resulted in me picking up his weekends and doing 5 weeks in a row etc. He doesnt call our child every night like we had agreed and he does things like booking 2 week holidays without the consideration of seeing our child. I had to go away for a week recently and he called me days before saying he could no longer look after our child so he insisted i had to cancel my trip
He is also seeing our child this weekend but only for the day and has given me a curfew of 8pm to be home and has refered to himself as 'babysitting' our child
In terms of moving 90 miles away I have suggested 50/50 in the holidays which he doesnt want, and have suggested every other weekend and phone calls every night etc which we are meant to be doing now
Thankyou - please be kind. I am just trying to do my best and build a life for my child

Keep a chronology of all the contact arrangements, all the requests, all the changes, all the DNAs , write it out on a word document, evidence where the information is from (text/email/whatsapp message, phone call etc)

Make your plans to move, just move

Produce your evidence in court when needed IF he ever makes it to court, I can almost guarantee he wont, or if he does it will fizzle out and he wont produce what he needs to, to evidence his application.

Surely where you live is only an issue in regards to access.
I assume you can facilitate the little access he has by taking DD to him. He doesn’t even need to know where you live.

I would have just gone. And before people bundle in and say you’re not ‘allowed’ plenty of men do it. He doesn’t exactly sound like an involved father. I wouldn’t have even given any notice, just moved and then told him. Let him throw money at it. Surely worst case scenario you’ll have to do one leg of the journey back eow? That could take months and months to enforce.

Did I miss how old your child is? Will they get a say soon? Does your ex have parental rights? Will you need his signature to get a new school place? I didn’t need it when mine were little.

If both parents have PR, then unless OP has a CAO, he has the right to make the choice of the school the child goes to as well as OP, thats the issue with moving. Its not where she is living, she mentions the change of school

He may also try to claim (but OP has evidence to undermine this) that by her moving she is alienating and obstructing his relationship with the child. That is a possibility if he hadnt done so himself by being unreliable and inconsistent with contact.

This. 90 miles is not unsurmountable by any standard and unless it seriously interferes with established, long term contact he doesn't have a leg to stand on

He sounds extremely flaky and inconsistent so keep a record, move and then deal with it when/if he takes it to court, but you have a v strong case so don't let him bully you

Yes, just move. Make sure you have copied all comms on what's app. etc too.

Remember you want to maintain relations with his father, and keep stating that, it needs to be fixed and there needs to be maintenance.

But move first.

Thankyou all for your replies. how do I go about moving my childs school? as im aware I cant do this without both parents consent and he wont give it. how does a prohibited steps order actually work?