17-year-old living arrangements

[IleftmybaginNewportPagnell]

The 17-year-old lost his mother nearly two years ago. He then went to live with his father (who had remained living nearby after the divorce) but, with father's consent, spends a lot of time - including overnight stays - at the flat of a neighbour from where he lived with his mother. His father has decided to emigrate but the son will not be going. The neighbour seems to think the 17-year-old will move in with him. The father is fine with this. Forgive me, I try to research as much as I can but this bombshell has been told to me today (by the neighbour). Could this happen without any formal interaction? I cannot find a clear answer online since he is not currently "looked after". Due to his mother's death, he is receiving regular counselling and has a social worker. If relevant, he also has dyspraxia and ADHD and currently attends a specialist sixth-form college. I am a close family member who is very concerned about this situation. Thank you.

When is he 18 OP? Also I'm assuming dad has PR?

Next June, and yes.

Yes father and friend neighbour can make a private agreement.
If child is unhappy about this at any point, support them in making a referral to children’s services (not housing while under 18) and they can advise about independent/semi independent options via the local authority.

This is called private fostering if under 16, but this child is over 17.

It needs an social care assessment but as long as no safeguarding issues are identified in that assessment, a child over 16 can live where they like if parents agree.

Why is it a worry, is the neighbour not good to him? Has the concerned family member spoken with the neighbour or the father?

Even with PR you don't do much as the child is already 17, you can't tell them to not leave home if they so wish. I suppose it would be different if the child had very severe disabilities and was deemed vulnerable, but he doesn't seem to be at that threshold.

I have serious concerns about the neighbour. He has a short fuse and no patience. He is a liar. He is very negative and a poor role model. He was not a good man to the boy's mother. The mother expressed her worries about him (to me) shortly before she passed away. It is very difficult to know what to say to the father, another concerned family member has already said all of this to him. The boy thinks the neighbour is great and loves being there - there are no rules so I can see why!

To update this thread, the boy (still 17) is very unhappy at the neighbour's house. I think the "no rules" novelty has worn off, plus this man (70+) gets very tired and sleeps a lot. The boy is really bored and doesn't like being there. He stays out as long as he can and eats cheap takeaways. I do not consider this to be care of a child, especially one with ADHD and dyspraxia who needs guidance and reassurance. I am wondering what could happen next?
A problem I foresee is, his EHCP states a specialised 6th form college which is very expensive. The funding has already been passed from one London borough (his/his dad's address) to another (the neighbour). Just to be clear, the neighbour was a neighbour of the mother, which is why he lives in a different borough. Father has now sold his property and moved abroad.

If he has an EHCP, does he have a social worker or any type of involvement? Is he in education? Has he approached his school or college’s welfare / pastoral lead if so?

At 17 he can refer himself to the local authority’s homelessness team for assessment, he should have priority need based on his age. 16/17 is a somewhat grey area in terms of child services intervention and forcing a young person to live with a parent if they choose otherwise, but if the young person cannot live with a parent and states that their current living arrangements are unsafe or unsuitable, they have the right to an assessment.

ETA: who are you to this young man, and has he asked for support? If he’s voluntarily choosing to remain living with the neighbour and doesn’t want to ask for support, there’s very limited scope for services to become involved.

@ComtesseDeSpair
he has a social worker (unfortunately they change frequently) and a counsellor he really trusts. He is in education but I know he likes to pretend everything is fine to certain people. He doesn’t like to see anyone upset, he’s very sensitive! His dad is in contact with the college for further advice. Thank you for your helpful information, it breaks my heart that this is happening. I think a foster carer for older children would be good, I have obviously offered for him to live with me but it would mean him and me moving to a cheaper part of the country. I am willing to do this (he is my nephew and godson!) but he so wanted to live with older neighbour. It’s going to be tricky suggesting this to his (very elderly, also out of area) grandparents as they see this as the family “failing” even though the man was unknown to us, but I will definitely look into it.

if he is considered a child with a disability then it would be considered a private fostering arrangement if he were to live with the friend over 28 days consecutively. Would need to be assessed via the social worker including dbs checks on the friend etc

@cheesychipsontheoche
thank you for this - it’s what is already happening but happened so quickly (none of us believed dad was going to leave the country!) that I don’t think any checks have been done. He’s very unhappy there now.

I’m just astounded that his father would think it appropriate to emigrate, leaving behind his 17 year old son, especially after he had lost his mother. Talk about abnegating all parental responsibility! I can see that the school thing would be a problem if he were to move. What about this seventy year old? He doesn’t sound capable of taking responsibility for your nephew. Is it possible to get in touch with SS and also your nephew’s school, and let them know that current housing arrangements are both unsuitable and liable to break down, and see if they have any suggestions? It all sounds immensely difficult and unsatisfactory, OP. I’m glad your nephew has you to look out for him.