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Child contact with non mol help

4 replies

CHop11 · 15/06/2025 11:36

Hello,

There is a non mol in place, originally contested then when we reached the pre trial review, ex stated he was accepting but wanted the option to arrange contact for our son through ourselves instead of a third party family member on his side. Amendment was put in that this can happen only with consent. Communication with the third party is breaking down and I have not agreed to contact with him at this point.

We have one child together aged 2, and I have 2 other children with SEN from a previous relationship. Ex works shifts and claims he does not receive his rota ahead of time. Contact is dictated by him whenever he has his days off, usually I get a few days notice, sometimes less than 24 hours. We never know what days, how long in between and I feel like Im just expected to sit around waiting to hear. If I dont agree to the contact, then it gets to the point of guilttripping or he will simply go pick our child up from nursery whilst Im at work so I find myaelf agreeing as I know he will just take our child anyway. There's no leeway for me to have any say in the contact times as its focused around Dads schedule, with no consideration for our sons routine or nursery schedule. He will pull him out and not send him in for his days if he has these days off. He's made it clear our child isnt obligated to go to nursery, it isnt school. Usually he will have him 1 night max, however most recent contact, I was informed after dropping off a few hours later he would be keeping him an additional 2 nights and not attend nursery for 2 days the upcoming week (Again just being told no asking is this ok, can we come to an agreement).

Im at a loss what to do, I feel like I have no control over anything, im literally at their beck and call, even for transport for our child to get to see his Dad when his family member can't facilitate pick up/drop off. He's moved further away and although only 11 miles away its 45 mins to an hour journey and a busy shopping area that he's picked as the drop off point (again im not allowed a say in where the exchange point is). Times are usually inconvenient for me i have 2 other children to care for and routines to follow aswell.

Is it worth taking it to court? What are my options and likely outcomes in this situation, im just feeling really trapped by the whole situation, do I just accept this is how we have to live until our child starts school?

Many Thanks

OP posts:
RandomMess · 15/06/2025 11:44

Withdraw your consent, refuse to do any travelling.

Presumably he would have to take you to court to try and force you to do any travelling.

Are you using a court approved app for communication you really need to.

CHop11 · 15/06/2025 14:49

RandomMess · 15/06/2025 11:44

Withdraw your consent, refuse to do any travelling.

Presumably he would have to take you to court to try and force you to do any travelling.

Are you using a court approved app for communication you really need to.

At the moment all contact goes through his family member, that includes messaging to arrange contact. Drop offs/pickups are exchanged between me and the family member. I haven't had any contact with ex directly in nearly a year but they keep pushing for this on the basis its too much for the family member to facilitate which I understand it is alot to take on. If I refuse anything I just get told what I should.be doing, guilt tripped, made out to be the bad guy. They dont acknowledge the events that have led to the non mol in the first place.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 15/06/2025 14:52

Sorry I meant use a court approved app to communicate with either/any one.

Read up about grey rock and start doing it do this person.

CHop11 · 15/06/2025 17:20

RandomMess · 15/06/2025 14:52

Sorry I meant use a court approved app to communicate with either/any one.

Read up about grey rock and start doing it do this person.

Thankyou

OP posts:
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