SGO advice

[Domimo79]

I have a special guardianship order for my 2 nephews ( my sisters children ) and have done for 6 years since the boys were aged 2 and newborn. They came to me due to drink / drug abuse and domestic violence. Dad is no longer a part of their lives and mum is almost 2 years clean and back in contact with the boys. She has built her relationship up with them and has them most weekends and school holidays unsupervised. Things are going great for everybody. She now wants to take me to court to have the SGO overturned and the older boy returned to her. ( the youngest knows only me and she feels that it would be unfair to take him too ) What’s the likelihood of this happening? I have always believed that a child should be with their mother but I’m heartbroken at the thought of losing any of them or splitting them up. Has anybody experienced anything similar?

SGO is intended to be for their entire childhood and splitting them up would be brutal. I hope she hasn’t mentioned this to them!

what do social services say?

Social services are not involved but I’m guessing they would become involved when she makes her court application as she would have to be assessed etc ( I could be wrong through )

Why is she against shared care with you retaining the SGO. Sounds like she isn’t putting their best interests first.

because she’s clean, sober and in a better place she feels that she can now have the order overturned and pick up where she left off 6 years ago. She feels like lits in the older boys best interests to be reunited permanently with her. Part of me believes that it could potentially be the best thing long term as he has significant trauma due to being removed from her in the first place but another part of me worries about the trauma to the youngest one in years to come when he realises his mum came back for his brother but not him. I want both boys to stay with me and have as much contact as their mum and I can accommodate. She won’t settle for this. I don’t know how it’s all going to pan out in court and to be honest I’m terrified of them being took from me and I know that is selfish on my part. My husband and I and all of our children have turned our lives upside down and sacrificed a lot to accommodate and include these boys into our lives ( both boys are autistic and both have foetal alcohol syndrome so they’re both challenging ) is there a chance that the courts would overturn the order? Has anybody any experience or had one overturned on similar grounds? My heads in bits

I mean there is technically a chance but it’s really unlikely tbh. I used to work in this field for a number of years and I’d be astonished.

yes social services would become involved if she took it to court or at very least cafcass

When the court makes a SGO it's made on the basis that it'll be in place until the child is an adult - the court wants permanence for the child.

In terms of the process your sister will need the court's permission to bring the application and will need to show a significant change in circumstances to enable the court to grant her permission.

Each child's welfare will be the court's paramount consideration and that will include looking at them as sibling unit, as well as individually. Have a look at S1 of the Children Act as this outlines the welfare checklist and factors the court will use to guide its decision.

The court will appoint a Children's Guardian who will file a report and give advice on what is in the best interests of the children.

I appreciate this must be terribly upsetting for you. No one can tell you what will happen, but you can be assured that the court will look very carefully at the matter and will do what is in the children's best interests, so please take some reassurance from that.

I’d hope there would be some involvement from one organisation or another so that I could air my views and feelings. I’d hate for there to be an assessment on her and for me to be disregarded. I know these boys like I know my own children and I need to be able to say what I believe is right for them

Thank you.
I am completely uneducated with the process and the internet is a minefield. I will definitely follow your advice and read the article.

I seriously doubt a court would split the siblings up. It would in effect give them entirely different childhoods.. Which goes against the point of the order in the first place...
Courts do hold sibling relationships in high regard ime.

You are the children's main carer and have been for the last 6 years so you will be involved in the process, will be a respondent to the proceedings and will have a voice in the courtroom.

Please look at S1 Children Act 1989. It will help you understand the factors the court will consider. Like I said, no one can say what will happen as every case is fact specific but the court would be unlikely to easily change the status quo without good reason if the children are settled and doing well.

6 years ago when the boys were removed from her care they both immediately went into foster care ( the youngest was only 5 days old and still in hospital ) my husband and I had a bond with the 2 year old already so we applied for only him. His mum was insistent that both boys remained together wherever they ended up so I ended my career and we took both boys. I don’t understand how she can now change that after they’ve spend 6 years together

Because it suited her then and it doesn’t suit her now?

Sorry to sound harsh OP but whilst I appreciate addiction is complex and your sister should be given a second chance at a life (for herself) she has irreparably damaged these poor kids lives (physically and emotionally) and turned yours upside down too. Sounds like they need protecting from her until they are old enough to make decisions for themselves.

I appreciate this is the legal board, sorry, I just stumbled upon this post in my active feed. I don’t have anything useful to say but I think you are a wonderful person for stepping up for these kids.

deep down my attitude is the same as yours. I have no right to stand in the way of her applying for the child back but I want to stand in the way because it’s too upsetting ( mentally and emotionally ) for everyone involved and the potential damage to the child left behind could be somewhat catastrophic. You’d think she’d be grateful to have the ‘as good as unlimited’ contact that she now has.

I really hope you’ve been able to access some good therapy - I can’t imagine what you’ve been through. Presumably this has been going on much longer than the 6 years because before that you were dealing with an addict in the family.

It would seem totally wild to me that these two kids would be put through more trauma by being separated but as I’ve already said, I don’t know anything about anything.

Good luck OP xx

My sister was an addict for over 20 years and altogether she has lost 5 children because of it ( she lost 2 before and 1 since I got these boys ) I’m proud of how far she’s come over the last 2 years but the damage already caused is absolutely devastating and heartbreaking. The 2 year old ( now 8 ) has had to undergo a considerable amount of therapy to help him understand why he lives with me. I feel like any more upheaval for either boy won’t end well at all