Hi all,
My finance got another woman pregnant last year, whilst still sleeping with me. We have two little ones together who live with me. I was at home looking after them when he got her pregnant.
Prior to this, I had been the sole carer for nearly 7 years as their Dad was never in the country. I did (and still do) everything. Including school runs, school holiday planning, food, dentist, haircuts, uniforms, new clothing, new shoes, doctors appointments, clubs, swimming, family visits, car seats, trips away, play dates, school admin…. EVERYTHING. All of this whilst running a business. Their Dad never took them out for ONE day - not in nearly seven years.
Since I discovered his new baby - I have decided to have limited contact with him. He was mentally and physically abusive when we were together and even came home high on drugs to our first child when he was an infant. So this last piece of disrespect was the straw that broke the camels back.
This man is still leaving the country every month for work - but has now put a child arrangements order in to the courts (we had one mediation session and he refused to sign the separation agreement). The only outcome was that he forced me to put the family home on the market (the home is next to the boys school and he has a piddly amount invested)
Has anyone else been through this process and can give me some advice on what to expect? In his court order, he slags me off on every page, whilst saying nothing about what he actually wants. He has no plan - has just been out of the country for 8 weeks, has a newborn baby girl, no fixed abode, has done his leg in so he can’t drive (we live in the rural countryside) and cannot commit to anything. Meanwhile, I run a successful business, have bought up two INCREDIBLE boys completely alone (I also had the family dog on my own for five years with them), have a new partner who absolutely adores me and the boys and look after my elderly parents. Someone please tell me how he can have a CMO without any commitment in any area of his life?
I’m also very tired of the abuse that keeps coming. He’s only 37 but he’s an old school misogynist. He has told CAFCASS that I’m ’mentally unstable’ and therefore the boys are in danger. Meanwhile, I’m running my business and loving my boys and enjoying a relationship and friendships - whilst he flits of to South Africa, Palma, Cannes, The Alps…. For 8 months of the year!