How to protect my assets should my husband remarry

AnotherBookGoblin · 14/06/2025 15:31

I have been through this process.

My parents had changed the ownership of their house to tenants in common and in their wills each left their half of the house to us children with a life interest for the surviving spouse.

In each will, the executors and the trustees were the surviving spouse and us children.

My father passed away two years ago.

The estate went through probate (it took four months), no inheritance tax etc.

Once the estate has been administered and half of the house passes to the trust, you then have two years in which to register the trust with the government Trust Registration Service.

It's free to do and quite straightforward. There is a lot of information you need to supply but it is all basic stuff like, names, addresses, NI numbers etc for everyone involved (the person who died, the trustees and the beneficiaries).

"I’ve looked into lifetime interest trusts but can see that there are some valid disadvantages to the surviving partner and costly to draw up with ongoing admin fees."

That's interesting, what do you think the disadvantages are? From my family's own experience there has not been any disadvantage and I can't see any disadvantage in the future either.
.

"...and costly to draw up with ongoing admin fees."

I'm a little confused here. Yes it is more expensive but, I think the cost is generally reasonable.

For example, I just had a quick look at the current prices for the will writing firm that my parents used back in 2015. I don't know what the cost was back then but the cost at the moment is:

Single Will £250
Single Will with Trust £450

Double Will £450
Double Will with Trust £750

"...with ongoing admin fees."

We haven't had any ongoing fees at all. The trust doesn't come into existence until the person dies. It is an Immediate Post Death Interest in Possession Trust.

For us, it has been straightforward to manage ourselves and we have not needed professional advice.
.

"We are looking to draw up mirror wills and want to include a clause that should either of us remarry after the other has died, then half of the total assets goes to our child."

A mirror will is not binding in any way on the surviving spouse. If your husband were to die first and left everything to you then you could take a young lover and leave everything to him (or the local cat's home charity) and nothing to your child.

A life interest can be for the life of the surviving spouse or until some other event. For example, there was a thread here recently where the OP's mother had an interest in the house until she either remarried or wanted to move out.

So, it is quite straightforward to write a will that says after your husband dies, half of the house is left in trust to your child and you have the right to occupy the house (or sell the house and buy another one) until you either die or remarry.

Needanadultgapyear · 15/06/2025 10:55

I agree with @AnotherBookGoblin in the overall scheme of organising wills and lady powers of attorney life interests are not that expensive.
I know my husband loves me, but he was a widower when we meet and he is someone who does better with a partner so I would want him to live well if I predeceasec him so a life interest is a sensible option. He feels the same about me.

MrsSunshine2b · 15/06/2025 11:23

It's all very well drawing up mirror wills, but if your husband remarries, any previous will he made will be automatically invalidated and he would have to write a new one anyway, which may or may not honour your wishes. It won't protect your children if you die.

BangersAndGnash · 15/06/2025 11:27

I wouldn’t start with mirror wills.

I would ensure the house was owned as tenants in common and leave my half of the house to my Dc with a life interest for my Dh.

Original poster

Indierock66 · 15/06/2025 22:00

AnotherBookGoblin · 14/06/2025 15:31

I have been through this process.

My parents had changed the ownership of their house to tenants in common and in their wills each left their half of the house to us children with a life interest for the surviving spouse.

In each will, the executors and the trustees were the surviving spouse and us children.

My father passed away two years ago.

The estate went through probate (it took four months), no inheritance tax etc.

Once the estate has been administered and half of the house passes to the trust, you then have two years in which to register the trust with the government Trust Registration Service.

It's free to do and quite straightforward. There is a lot of information you need to supply but it is all basic stuff like, names, addresses, NI numbers etc for everyone involved (the person who died, the trustees and the beneficiaries).

"I’ve looked into lifetime interest trusts but can see that there are some valid disadvantages to the surviving partner and costly to draw up with ongoing admin fees."

That's interesting, what do you think the disadvantages are? From my family's own experience there has not been any disadvantage and I can't see any disadvantage in the future either.
.

"...and costly to draw up with ongoing admin fees."

I'm a little confused here. Yes it is more expensive but, I think the cost is generally reasonable.

For example, I just had a quick look at the current prices for the will writing firm that my parents used back in 2015. I don't know what the cost was back then but the cost at the moment is:

Single Will £250
Single Will with Trust £450

Double Will £450
Double Will with Trust £750

"...with ongoing admin fees."

We haven't had any ongoing fees at all. The trust doesn't come into existence until the person dies. It is an Immediate Post Death Interest in Possession Trust.

For us, it has been straightforward to manage ourselves and we have not needed professional advice.
.

"We are looking to draw up mirror wills and want to include a clause that should either of us remarry after the other has died, then half of the total assets goes to our child."

A mirror will is not binding in any way on the surviving spouse. If your husband were to die first and left everything to you then you could take a young lover and leave everything to him (or the local cat's home charity) and nothing to your child.

A life interest can be for the life of the surviving spouse or until some other event. For example, there was a thread here recently where the OP's mother had an interest in the house until she either remarried or wanted to move out.

So, it is quite straightforward to write a will that says after your husband dies, half of the house is left in trust to your child and you have the right to occupy the house (or sell the house and buy another one) until you either die or remarry.

Thanks so much for your very detailed reply!

I did carry out some research beforehand and I just found parts of it confusing, but think I am a little bit clearer now that you’ve explained it.

So it is possible for the surviving spouse to sell the property and purchase another one with all of the proceeds? The cons that I had read were should the surviving spouse need a large sum of money, ongoing admin tasks like tax returns and if there was a fallout with the children.

OP posts:

Inheritancequery1 · 15/06/2025 22:08

Apparently mutual wills can’t be changed after death. But I have heard they come with other issues.

HoratioBellsOn · 15/06/2025 22:13

There's is a Mumsnetter who is a lawyer specialising in will writing. We had this exact scenario and she talked us through everything and wrote our wills. Would definitely recommend her.

This is her website:

www.marlowwills.co.uk/

Original poster

Indierock66 · 15/06/2025 22:28

Inheritancequery1 · 15/06/2025 22:08

Apparently mutual wills can’t be changed after death. But I have heard they come with other issues.

What were the issues?

OP posts:

Original poster

Indierock66 · 15/06/2025 22:30

HoratioBellsOn · 15/06/2025 22:13

There's is a Mumsnetter who is a lawyer specialising in will writing. We had this exact scenario and she talked us through everything and wrote our wills. Would definitely recommend her.

This is her website:

www.marlowwills.co.uk/

Thanks for that link!

If it isn’t too personal, may I ask what was the cost to draft the will?

OP posts:

HoratioBellsOn · 15/06/2025 22:57

Afraid I can't remember, it was a little while ago. The price was comparable to other providers at the time, I can remember that.

LetIt · 16/06/2025 03:35

AnotherBookGoblin · 14/06/2025 15:31

I have been through this process.

My parents had changed the ownership of their house to tenants in common and in their wills each left their half of the house to us children with a life interest for the surviving spouse.

In each will, the executors and the trustees were the surviving spouse and us children.

My father passed away two years ago.

The estate went through probate (it took four months), no inheritance tax etc.

Once the estate has been administered and half of the house passes to the trust, you then have two years in which to register the trust with the government Trust Registration Service.

It's free to do and quite straightforward. There is a lot of information you need to supply but it is all basic stuff like, names, addresses, NI numbers etc for everyone involved (the person who died, the trustees and the beneficiaries).

"I’ve looked into lifetime interest trusts but can see that there are some valid disadvantages to the surviving partner and costly to draw up with ongoing admin fees."

That's interesting, what do you think the disadvantages are? From my family's own experience there has not been any disadvantage and I can't see any disadvantage in the future either.
.

"...and costly to draw up with ongoing admin fees."

I'm a little confused here. Yes it is more expensive but, I think the cost is generally reasonable.

For example, I just had a quick look at the current prices for the will writing firm that my parents used back in 2015. I don't know what the cost was back then but the cost at the moment is:

Single Will £250
Single Will with Trust £450

Double Will £450
Double Will with Trust £750

"...with ongoing admin fees."

We haven't had any ongoing fees at all. The trust doesn't come into existence until the person dies. It is an Immediate Post Death Interest in Possession Trust.

For us, it has been straightforward to manage ourselves and we have not needed professional advice.
.

"We are looking to draw up mirror wills and want to include a clause that should either of us remarry after the other has died, then half of the total assets goes to our child."

A mirror will is not binding in any way on the surviving spouse. If your husband were to die first and left everything to you then you could take a young lover and leave everything to him (or the local cat's home charity) and nothing to your child.

A life interest can be for the life of the surviving spouse or until some other event. For example, there was a thread here recently where the OP's mother had an interest in the house until she either remarried or wanted to move out.

So, it is quite straightforward to write a will that says after your husband dies, half of the house is left in trust to your child and you have the right to occupy the house (or sell the house and buy another one) until you either die or remarry.

We have decided not to do this because we don’t want our money tied up and not available to be used in the event of either of our deaths. If DH dies I might want to sell up and sail around the world or use the money to pay for a better care home. Or better care. Or anything really. We decided that our money (which is ours not half each) should be available for either of us to use until we both die. If any is left it’ll get passed on, but we are the priority.

There is a risk that this means my DS gets sideways disinherited. I do hope that doesn’t happen, but we have decided that our priority is us.

Another alternative is to get a joint will. This becomes unchangeable after the first death. So solicitors don’t like it as it can’t be changed if the surviving spouses circumstances change; I believe not even if they remarry. So this might be an option for us especially as we get older and the likelihood of remarriages with new children becomes less and less likely (we’ll definitely not likely for me) but it obviously has its drawbacks too.

coolmum123 · 16/06/2025 06:01

Have you looked into Asset Preservation Trusts?

AnotherBookGoblin · 16/06/2025 06:44

LetIt · 16/06/2025 03:35

We have decided not to do this because we don’t want our money tied up and not available to be used in the event of either of our deaths. If DH dies I might want to sell up and sail around the world or use the money to pay for a better care home. Or better care. Or anything really. We decided that our money (which is ours not half each) should be available for either of us to use until we both die. If any is left it’ll get passed on, but we are the priority.

There is a risk that this means my DS gets sideways disinherited. I do hope that doesn’t happen, but we have decided that our priority is us.

Another alternative is to get a joint will. This becomes unchangeable after the first death. So solicitors don’t like it as it can’t be changed if the surviving spouses circumstances change; I believe not even if they remarry. So this might be an option for us especially as we get older and the likelihood of remarriages with new children becomes less and less likely (we’ll definitely not likely for me) but it obviously has its drawbacks too.

Show quote history

OK, this is rather confusing, in your OP you said:

"Has anybody got any experience or thoughts of a way ensuring that my child doesn’t miss out?"

[emphasis added]

And now you're saying

"I might want to sell up and sail around the world or use the money to pay for a better care home. Or better care. Or anything really."

So, you're now saying that you're not at all concerned with ensuring that your child doesn't miss out?

If your husband wants to make a will to ensure that your child doesn't miss out then putting his half of the house in trust is the only way to ensure that your child gets at least half.

This will still allow you to sell up and use your half to sail around the world while also protecting some of your child's inheritance.

AnotherBookGoblin · 16/06/2025 06:51

@LetIt Sorry! I thought you were the OP. I thought she had changed her mind

"...but we have decided that our priority is us."

A perfectly reasonable thing to do. My parents took out a lifetime mortgage against their home in their later years so that they could do things and enjoy life and still live in their home.

It meant that there is little left for us children but I don't begrudge them that at all.

atlanta1 · 16/06/2025 07:03

I’m trying to get my head around this too. A friend of mines father remarried, his new wife outlived him and left the family home to charity. I’d hate to think that could happen to my children.

AnotherBookGoblin · 16/06/2025 07:32

Indierock66 · 15/06/2025 22:00

Thanks so much for your very detailed reply!

I did carry out some research beforehand and I just found parts of it confusing, but think I am a little bit clearer now that you’ve explained it.

So it is possible for the surviving spouse to sell the property and purchase another one with all of the proceeds? The cons that I had read were should the surviving spouse need a large sum of money, ongoing admin tasks like tax returns and if there was a fallout with the children.

Show quote history

"So it is possible for the surviving spouse to sell the property and purchase another one with all of the proceeds?"

As long as the will is written to allow that, then yes. My parents wills were written that way.

"...if there was a fallout with the children."

Yes, this could be a problem (if they are also trustees). The thing is that with a trust, all trustees have to agree to do something. So, if you want to move to a new property then all the trustees have to agree to use the trust money to purchase the new home.

If the children are trustees and don't agree with your intended purchase then they could choose not to invest in the new house (they couldn't stop you selling your existing home though).

If you think this may be an issue then you may want to think about appointing somebody else as a trustee, who would be neutral on the matter, rather than your children.

Either that, or if you raise the issue with the person writing the will then it will be possible to write the will in such a way that they must have regard solely to your interests rather than just should have regard. There's a very big difference between "must" and "should".
.

"...should the surviving spouse need a large sum of money"

At the end of the day, this is the dilemma you have. If you wish to ensure that at least some money will go to your child then the amount left to your child will need to be ringfenced when the first spouse dies so that the surviving spouse doesn't spend it all.

Having said that, the surviving spouse can do anything they like with their share of the house. If they wish to sell up and sail around the world then they are totally free to do that.
.

"...ongoing admin tasks like tax returns"

It depends on what is contained in the trust. If it's just property with no income (eg just the family home) then it is not taxable and so no tax returns are needed.

If there is any income (eg maybe a rental property or dividends from shares or interest from a bank account etc) then it depends on what the trustees decide to do.

Trustees can either have the money paid directly to the surviving spouse or paid via the trust.

If the money is paid directly to the surviving spouse then they do not need to report it on a trust tax return and so there is no admin. It counts as the income of the surviving spouse.

If there is a rental property (or something else with costs as well as income) then that is where the trust will need to do a tax return before passing the net rent to the surviving spouse.

So, unless you have a rental property or similar, then it is possible to arrange things so that there are no admin tasks at all.

BangersAndGnash · 16/06/2025 08:41

atlanta1 · 16/06/2025 07:03

I’m trying to get my head around this too. A friend of mines father remarried, his new wife outlived him and left the family home to charity. I’d hate to think that could happen to my children.

My friend lost her Mum when she was 10. Their family home had been bought with money from her Mum’s parents.

Her Dad re-married quickly, a woman with no assets of her own , and step mum had two kids. Her Dad died in due course. Now recently step mum had died. And left every penny to her own kids, not my friend.

And the same thing happened to another friend.

All to often Men move on quickly and do not think ahead to protect children from a first family.