Hi all, this is a long one so I thank anyone who takes the time to help!
Recently there has been a police investigation as my DD made allegations of sexual abuse against her father. The police case was closed due to lack of evidence. I still stand on that a 4 year old child should not know what any form of self pleasure/oral pleasure so this allegation is not the result of "playground talk". I understand these cases are hard to prove but it seems like no one cares about the safeguarding of my DD.
The father of my child has been consistently abusive. Since we split up, he has tried any which way to control me, resulting in me losing a college placement and a previous job. He then began to use our DD to control me. He put her in harms way and made appaling choice which affected her stability from a very young age. I have reported this on so many occasions to social services but they never seem to listen. It started with shouting and hitting, to bullying and belittling her, to the recent sexual abuse allegations.
A couple of years ago, he got an emergency court order and took me to court for full custody of my DD. He lied throughout the court battle and as a result, he got 60% of visitation. The court did not once listen to me, I offered to complete drug tests etc but it was never good enough. He has held this court order over me for years, reminding me that the only reason it is in place is because I am a bad mother. He would remind me that no matter what, I could not break this court order otherwise I would go to prison. Unfortunately, looking back, he had very easily gaslighted and coerced me into thinking I was the terrible mother he painted me out to be.
Fast forward to the allegations and police case. Throughout this time, he has claimed to 100s (yes 100s) of people that I am a monster and am trying to alienate him. He constantly posts on social media about this too. His behaviour towards me became so bad that I had to block him and force him to contact me through a third party before the police case. I used to have panic attacks if I saw he messaged me. As for social services, my social worker has done everything to make me the bad guy in this case and is so blinded by him that she was advocating for contact even during the police case.
After finding out the case had closed, I was advised the current court order would go back into place.. even after all the abuse allegations. He is clearly a safeguarding risk and my DD is terrified of him. She feels she can't talk to anyone else about her fears because she has been brainwashed into thinking that she would get into trouble or someone she loves will go to prison. It has gotten so bad that I had to change our local food shop place because he used to go there and she was scared he would bump into us and try to take her.
There is so much more to this story like how he denies her medical condition, which is life threatening, and so much other stuff that shows he poses a risk to her.
So far I have applied for a hearing without notice (C100 and C1A) but the courts have been dragging their heels about getting this in place. In the meantime, I am breaching the previous court order and spending my time terrified that he may turn up at our family home or at my daughters school to try and take her.
I guess my question here is, has anybody been through the same? What else can I do to protect her? And how do I navigate legal proceedings to make sure I am taken seriously this time? (my faith in the system is extremely broken thanks to the years of issues we have had)
I will also add that I have not been unfair and even though I have safeguarding issues, I have stated he can have supervised contact but this would need to be with a professional present and only if my DD agrees to it. This whole situation is heartbreaking, she is the picture of innocence and regardless of all of this, she is still such a happy and thriving little girl. I just wish I could do something to stop any further trauma, especially when she is currently attending therapy to deal with everything that has happened previously
Thank you in advance