Ex won’t update his address

[PettyCrocker]

My ex husband moved out about 4 years ago and since then has refused to give the DVLA his new address. Over the years I keep receiving tax info from them, plus speeding/other fines relating to his car. I have sent countless letters back to sender, and finally told the DVLA his new address, I have done this a few times over the years now. Usually I hear nothing further, but recently got the reply that “We are unable to make alterations to an address shown on a driving licence record unless notified by the licence holder. It is the responsibility of the licence holder to advise us of any changes, as and when they become necessary. It is the police as law enforcers who have a system of fines in place to deal with drivers who fail to comply with these requirements.”

So basically they are telling me to report him to the police I guess? Why can’t they do that themselves now they have the info? He’s clearly dodging paying tax, fines etc, and meanwhile still connected to my address.

I’m pissed off that somehow it’s ME who is still responsible for a grown man’s actions, I washed my hands of him years ago but he’s still my responsibility? The DVLA now have his new address but won’t actually do anything.

I fear that if I report him to the police there will be a fallout on me and our children, which I was hoping to avoid. I was hoping the DVLA would contact him to get him to sort it or just redirect his mail. Does anyone know what would happen if I do report it to the police, would he know it was me?

Odd, you'd think they'd be super happy to slap him with a £1k fine and that's just not changing the address on his licence, he's not re-registered the car to his new address either if fines are coming to your address. Any chance you were a signatory / registered keeper of the car?

Are you financially severed? My ex wouldn't update his details and until the FMH was sold, we were linked. I contacted all the credit agencies to get a note put on my file to the effect he wasn't resident. He kept applying for credit in joint names, despite living elsewhere and us divorcing. Everything else I just wrote 'not known at this address' and put it back in the post. They won't take the updated address because of GDPR.

I assume you've asked/told him to update his address? What has he said?

sorry, that’s not at all meant in a goady/typical MN ‘why did he say when you confronted him way’? Genuine question

Why does it matter ? Just put anything addressed to him in the bin.

Could you just re-direct his mail to his address via the post office system, as you know his new address? Then all the DVLA stuff will land on his doormat, not yours.

If he wasn’t your ex partner and was just a previous tenant/home owner what would you do? Either cross out unopened with return to sender and put back in the post when passing or bin everything.

This. What are you worried might happen if you just binned everything addressed to him?

@TreadSoftlyOnMyDreamsthat’s what I thought, you’d think they’d love a nice fine. They have all his info, so I don’t understand why they can’t act.

To the posters who asked, no we are not financially connected so I’m not worried about the stuff being at my address per se but it’s a PITA to keep sending his mail back to sender (it’s not just DVLA it’s NHS stuff, bank statements, charity junk mail, and it’s just him taking the piss). As he was abusive I just detest even seeing his name on something coming to my house. It feels invasive and I know it’s a way of him having control because he can then use it as an excuse for contact - I either have to hand it over to him, or he can contact me to ask about post. Plus I’d actually quite like him to have some consequences for speeding, not paying his congestion charges or whatever! So I thought the DVLA might be the most interested of all the crap he gets sent here, but clearly not.

@WordleAwayit costs money to use the Post Office redirection service, and frankly I’m not wasting another penny on him!

To the posters who asked, I have told him to update it many times over the years, he just won’t. He drifts through life not giving a shit, and I’m sick of him refusing to be a proper grown up and a parent. I’d like the companies contacting him about fines to actually force him to pay up! Last time I tried to hand him his post when he collected our dc, which had official logos on the front, he just laughed and said he wouldn’t be paying. I later found the pile of letters left near my driveway, tucked behind a plant pot, so he knows full well he’s racking up fines and I don’t see the point of me physically giving it to him when he’s done that.

So my original question was would he know if I’d reported him to the police for the car stuff, does anyone know about that? It seems to be the only way it would make him actually take responsibility for his shit.

Just let him know you will throw letters in the bin from now on. You're not his secretary. Appreciate it's a pain for you to get this mail, but just learn to ignore it.

write no longer at this address on it and post it in the mailbox.

I wouldn't hand over a thing. Even if it's his new passport. Send everything back to sender with a Not Known at this address.

If you’re allowing your children to go in his car that isn’t legally taxed insured etc then you’re as bad as him! Report him to the police and let him deal with the consequences. If the registration isn’t valid from dvla then nothing else will be!

You can do an on line tax & MOT check on any car

I would add that if the answer is no to either dont let your children get in it & take a photo of the vehicle

I had the same from my ex when the police tried to fine him via my address I called them said I wasn't sure where he was living but here is his moms address nans address and girlfriend for good measures he changed it fast when the letters landed on there doorstep