I have a SD who is 12 and in high school.
her mother has recently moved 200 miles away from our home town, she has left as she wanted to prevent her other child father having contact with her other child and was told the further away she moved the less likely he would be to pursue contact.
after been away for 8 weeks, she has now decided she is taking my SD with her, she is saying this is wahay SD wants but we don’t know this as she hasn’t told us herself, albeit a text whilst in her mums care. There have been a series of issues in the run up to this, SD didn’t want to spend time with her mum even though we have actively encouraged this, mum changed SD last name and she’s cried to us and wants it changing back and finally SD doesn’t have a good relationship at all with her sister at her mums. It’s very high conflict and they have early help intervention team involved for many years, although mum closes the case when she is told what she doesn’t want to hear. Mum has informed SDs high school today she is withdrawing her after this week so she is going ahead with her plan regardless.
we have a CAO in place, this was because mum stopped us seeing SD for 9 months pre silly back in 2018. Current CAO is a lives with both and we used to have 6 nights in 14 however 3 years ago we went to a full 50/50 due to the struggles SD was having with mum. last year SD resulted in self harming due to stresses she had at mums and has over last few years lived with us on occasion full time to try and reduce this.
mum has no connections to where she has lived, no family or friends and is in temporary accommodation.
SD has a huge family network here and friends she has made at high school.
where do we stand in all of this? What woukd the courts likely issue? Mum seems to think that because she can’t afford to come back here we need to be the ones facilitating the 8 hour round trip of SD moves away, woukd a court order that when it’s mum taking her to a place that wasn’t necessary for her to live too?
id like to finish by saying long term, if this is what SD wants we wouldn’t stop it, we’d just also like a plan in place to ensure it’s in her best interests and she is set up for success, currently we don’t have that. A plan to ensure SD doesn’t loose all of her relationships and support network, but also weekends are the only likely option as we both work full time (her mum doesn’t) there would be no quality time if we are having to do the full 14 hour return trip in a weekend!
im at a loss, i’m scared we are going to lose SD and also scared of rhe courts, mum has a history of horrific allegations against her ex partners