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Original poster

Child benefit - I might be liable for an overpayment I knew nothing about help!

22 replies

lullubell · 21/05/2025 10:03

Hoping someone may be able to offer some advice please of where I can go next!

Yesterday my husband got a letter about his soon to be 16 year old son from HMRC about if he still wanted to continue with receiving child benefit post 16. It was in his name.

He contacted his ex wife (they separated in 2012, divorced in 2013) to ask if she still received it. He assumed she must have opted out years ago as her earning will be over the threshold.

Turns out she’s been receiving it into her bank account since 2012 - an account that he hasn’t had his name on since then. Presumably it was a joint account prior to separation.

The issue is that the benefit is in his name even though he’s not received any money for the past 13 years - he made the original claim back in 2009 when his son was born and forgot about it this is the first correspondence ever he has got about it. We have never had any letters before

From what we have read as I am the higher earner in our house I would be liable for any overpayment?!

I have two teenagers myself and cannot afford to pay the money back nor does it seem fair. I opted out for my own children years ago!

He is calling HMRC to explain today and if we do get a request for overpayment we have to hope his ex would contribute but what do I do if this is refused? It will be thousands!

Any advice welcome!!! Do I need a solicitor?!

OP posts:
Looloolullabelle · 21/05/2025 10:06

I’m not 100% but what I would say that my husband went over £50,000 earnings one year and HMRC were VERY quick to write to us to let us know we had to fill in a self assessment. If they haven’t written to you then you may be ok but again I’m not 100%.

dementedpixie · 21/05/2025 10:15

She couldn't have opted out of payment if its in his name. He can stop his claim and tell her to make her own claim. I dont know where he stands regarding paying some back. He'd need to speak to hmrc and see what they say.

Original poster
lullubell · 21/05/2025 10:24

Thank you. He has no idea it was still being paid until yesterday. She said she had not realised she was still receiving it.

OP posts:
ScrewedByFunding · 21/05/2025 10:28

How could she have opted out when it's in his name? Talk about blaming the ex, that takes the biscuit!

Blackdow · 21/05/2025 10:30

Why didn’t he cancel it?
I mean, she should have owned up that she was still getting this money. There is no way she didn’t realise she was getting it. But it was his claim in his name, and he should have dealt with that.

You’re the one with the salary over the limit so it’s you who has to pay it, but I’d be getting the money from him. It’s his fault. He can do what he wants about getting it from his ex but that’s nothing to do with you.

Original poster
lullubell · 21/05/2025 10:59

He didn’t cancel it because it was 16 years ago when he claimed it. He has had no correspondence from HMRC for 16 years.

OP posts:
hangingonfordearlife1 · 21/05/2025 11:04

Blackdow · 21/05/2025 10:30

Why didn’t he cancel it?
I mean, she should have owned up that she was still getting this money. There is no way she didn’t realise she was getting it. But it was his claim in his name, and he should have dealt with that.

You’re the one with the salary over the limit so it’s you who has to pay it, but I’d be getting the money from him. It’s his fault. He can do what he wants about getting it from his ex but that’s nothing to do with you.

if he doesn’t earn over 50k i don’t think he will have to pay anything back as you are not related to the child and it’s at a totally different address. if it was me i would just cancel it now and forget about it

Blackdow · 21/05/2025 11:06

lullubell · 21/05/2025 10:59

He didn’t cancel it because it was 16 years ago when he claimed it. He has had no correspondence from HMRC for 16 years.

I claimed is 13 years ago. No correspondence since then. They don’t contact you.

He knew that money was going into their joint account, they split up, and he didn’t contact them to update them on bank details or cancel the claim. Seriously, why do you think this isn’t his fault?

Ex-wife should have asked him about it, so also some blame there too but he made the claim, knew about it at the time and just left it running. She couldn’t cancel it; it was his claim. What did he think happened to it?

Blackdow · 21/05/2025 11:07

hangingonfordearlife1 · 21/05/2025 11:04

if he doesn’t earn over 50k i don’t think he will have to pay anything back as you are not related to the child and it’s at a totally different address. if it was me i would just cancel it now and forget about it

Show quote history

They’re married and live together. It needs to be paid back.

ScrewedByFunding · 21/05/2025 11:08

lullubell · 21/05/2025 10:59

He didn’t cancel it because it was 16 years ago when he claimed it. He has had no correspondence from HMRC for 16 years.

Well they've got his address so he's updated them. He'll have received correspondence when amounts increased etc. It will also be on his HMRC account or app.

Blackdow · 21/05/2025 11:08

ScrewedByFunding · 21/05/2025 11:08

Well they've got his address so he's updated them. He'll have received correspondence when amounts increased etc. It will also be on his HMRC account or app.

Show quote history

I’ve never received a letter when the amount has increased. Never moved house since claiming either.

ScrewedByFunding · 21/05/2025 11:11

Blackdow · 21/05/2025 11:08

I’ve never received a letter when the amount has increased. Never moved house since claiming either.

Show quote history

Well the DH has as he's got a new wife!

What's with all the woman blaming? Why should she have taken responsibility for his admin?

Original poster
lullubell · 21/05/2025 11:14

Thanks for those that have commented I came here to seek genuine advice and support not to be judged or blamed. Bye!!!

OP posts:
Blackdow · 21/05/2025 11:16

ScrewedByFunding · 21/05/2025 11:11

Well the DH has as he's got a new wife!

What's with all the woman blaming? Why should she have taken responsibility for his admin?

Show quote history

What? What woman blaming? I’ve worried more than one post saying this is his fault. The OP is blaming the ex.

And it doesn’t matter if you move house; HMRC know where you live! They don’t send letters for the amounts increasing.

Blackdow · 21/05/2025 11:19

lullubell · 21/05/2025 11:14

Thanks for those that have commented I came here to seek genuine advice and support not to be judged or blamed. Bye!!!

No one blamed you. This is his fault.

But you will have to pay it back as you’re the high earner. So, arrange a payment plan and then make sure he gives you the money as it’s his fault. He will have to discuss getting anything from her with his ex but that’s nothing to do with you. As long as he pays you back.

Not sure what other advice or support you expected? He made the claim, didn’t cancel the claim, didn’t update his bank details, the money has been paid… and it needs to be paid back by the higher earning spouse. It won’t be for the whole time though, hopefully. Speak to HMRC and sort it out.

Whyx · 21/05/2025 11:23

Interesting that it was his claim but he had no access to the funds which his ex has happily spent presumably. Would be interesting to see if there's any claim he could make that she used his funds?
Morally the ex wife may be at fault because it is truly impossible that she has not been aware of the funds going in.
But really it's the husband's fault for not dealing with this as the claimant.

Needmorelego · 21/05/2025 11:26

How did the ex not notice she was getting it?
Did she never check her account in 16 years?
Did she not think "oooh there's an extra £80 in my account.... what's that for?"
If anyone has to pay it back she should as she received it and was happy spending it (I assume).

dementedpixie · 21/05/2025 12:25

I'm guessing the ex has the children with her so the money would be going towards their joint children. She is perfectly entitled to the payment. Its the ex husband that should have cancelled the claim as he set it up in the first place

MummytoE · 21/05/2025 12:27

ScrewedByFunding · 21/05/2025 10:28

How could she have opted out when it's in his name? Talk about blaming the ex, that takes the biscuit!

She should have noticed and owned up about the money going in to her account

Blackdow · 21/05/2025 12:39

dementedpixie · 21/05/2025 12:25

I'm guessing the ex has the children with her so the money would be going towards their joint children. She is perfectly entitled to the payment. Its the ex husband that should have cancelled the claim as he set it up in the first place

No, OP says she earns over the threshold so the ex wife isn’t entitled to it (well, she is but she would have had to pay all or some of it back).
She certainly wasn’t entitled to it when it was in his name, but it’s his fault for leaving the claim running.

hangingonfordearlife1 · 21/05/2025 13:55

Blackdow · 21/05/2025 11:07

They’re married and live together. It needs to be paid back.

Show quote history

does the child even live there? i don’t think it does and if they haven’t wrote to them in 16 years or since the thresholds came in i certainly would be playing dumb on this one

LIZS · 21/05/2025 14:47

Where does dss live? If with ex then her household is assessed and the higher earning adult potentially liable as she receives it.

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