TW: Domestic Abuse, Rape Waiting time for investigations

[MaryandFredV]

Background, sorry for rambling: I got away from my abuser with is the father to my two children. I reported the first time he raped me over two years ago now, to the police and they are currently investigating it. There is no medical evidence as I didn't get a rape kit done at the time, but he was very manipulative and constantly gaslighting me; so much that when we were talking about it at the time, I recorded part of the conversation because I literally couldn't process what was happening. He is a very convincing liar and I even started to doubt if it had happened or not. I doubted the pain I could feel until I bled later on. I even took a photo of the bloody tissue to prove to myself it happened. He also went on to sexually abuse me until I got out 18 months later.

I'm just anxious at the moment as I got a call from the officer investigating that he is almost finished the investigation to hand over to his inspector.

At the same time the abuser is taking me to family court. I've had a nightmare with the Cafcass officer and tbh its like talking to my abusive ex how she constantly reframes what has happened to diminish the abuse. She very much wants the children to have as much contact with the abuser as possible. But she said something that made me really worried. She said rape investigations take a very long time she has been even more dismissive of my safeguarding concerns since I told her what the police have told me.

Does this mean my case is weak and won't go any further? Really appreciate anyone's perspective on this

It’s not uncommon for a rape investigation to take months. If it’s your word against his then it’s a weak case and will be unlikely to go ahead. The inspector will decide whether there’s enough evidence to send the case the Cps. If it goes to them they will take months and months to decide whether to prosecute your ex. It’s not uncommon for a file to sit on a shelf for weeks before it gets looked at by a cps lawyer.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this OP. Unfortunately PP is right, if there is no evidence and it is a his word against yours situation then the case is weak and it may very well be that they make the decision not to prosecute.

You can make a complaint about the officer
https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/contact-us/feedback-and-complaints

You can contact The Survivor's Trust, they have a good helpline and can help you find specialist counselling.

You might also find Victim Support helpful.

With regards to child contact they way he abused you is of no interest to the family court. If he did not abuse the children it will not affect his contact.
the only concession you might get is for a third party/public hand over of the children. The CAFCASS officer is looking at what is most important for the children.
Could you make a reasonable offer of contact with the children with a third party or public hand over possibly bringing the family court case to an end and reducing your stress.

He is also abusive towards the children, he was violent towards them when he lived with us, Cafcass officer was dismissive of it. Again with the rape conversation recording, I have some of us talking about him hurting the children (he would deny it, and lie about it, say I was making it up and criticising him and again he was so psychologically abusive, I doubted my own reality hence recording talking about it). I have recording of him aploging to me for hurting them. She didn't want to hear it and actually criticised me for recording him without his consent.

He's pushing for unsupervised contact and I don't trust him, the Cafcass officer is very much on his side

I was hoping that it was my word AND his word then against him denying it now.

He admits he did it on the recording and apologies to me. I was praying it would be enough for him to actually be questioned in a situation where he can't no comment

You can contact Rights of Women for free legal advice or the Children's Legal Centre.

He can always go no comment, whatever the evidence. The likelihood is that he’d be advised to go no comment.

There generally does seem to be a problem with Cafcass staff often supporting abusive men rather than the woman they abused. The barrister, Dr Charlotte Proudman, supports women in these situations and has published a book (He Said, She Said) about how family courts continue to abuse women in these situations.

The CEO of Cafcass has recently demanded a written apology from Dr Jessica Taylor for stating that, statistically, it is possible that some members of Cafcass staff, like members of all professions, may be the perpetrators of domestic or child abuse.

righttoequality.org/right-to-equality-statement-on-cafcass-intimidation-of-dr-jessica-taylor/