Is it worth getting married?

[Fudgeytastic]

Long story short, partner and I are planning our future together, mainly getting a mortgage for a house. Both of us are divorcees and we have two teenage children each so we’re looking at a sizeable 4/5 bed house which is doable looking at our finances.

But I’m holding back as he’s now said he doesn’t want to marry again. Marriage isn’t my number one priority but I just want to make sure both me and my kids are protected if something goes wrong as I’m not the highest earner here, although I do earn a decent enough salary. Nothing spectacular, but I’ve been ok-ish as a single parent so far.

Is marriage worth it financially and legally for both of us? I really don’t see things going wrong but I just don’t want to risk anything.

Would you be joint owners of the house? How does the value compare to the inheritance tax nil rate band? What would you want to happen to the property if one of you died?

You will pretty much be forced to marry or else pay huge IHT from April 2027 if you have any pensions of substance.

A quick civil partnership will suffice if you can’t be bothered getting married. I suspect many will do this to protect their pensions.

Being married or in a civil partnership protects the party who is weaker financially should the relationship end. It helps if the house is jointly owned but, if you don't marry, you will not have a claim on any of his other assets (and nor will he have a claim on your other assets).

If you are married or in a civil partnership, when one of you dies anything they leave to the other will be exempt from IHT and, when the second dies, they will be able to utilise any unuse nil rate band, allowing them to leave up to £1M free of IHT. As the previous poster highlights, pensions will no longer be exempt from IHT from 2027. You therefore need to seriously think about whether marriage or civil partnership will reduce or remove any IHT liability.

I wouldn’t in your circumstances. You risk your spouse inheriting your property/assets rather than your children. Personally I think it’s unreasonable to “protect yourself” in these circumstances where it’s a second marriage and no joint children.

If you want to be protected in the event of his death - he can make you the beneficiary of any life insurance policy or you could have a lifetime trust over the property entitling you to live there on the event of his death but when you die his children still inherit whatever his share is.

If, either after marrying or in anticipation of marriage, OP makes a will leaving reasonable provision for her spouse, he will not inherit everything and cut out her children. A common approach in this situation would be for her to leave him a life interest in her portion of the house with it passing to her children on his death - effectively what you are proposing in your second paragraph. And you've missed the point that marrying may reduce or even eliminate any IHT bill.

In a second marriage, with teens, I would be leaving my assets to my Dc in my Will rather than my partner.

I have seen too many men inherit their wives assets, then marry a woman who outlives them, and the children of the first wife are long forgotten.

So personally I wouldn’t be worrying about IHT. But might look at a life interest in the house. Depending on age. If I was to die aged 40 I wouldn’t want my kids to wait 40 years for their inheritance, when a man in his 40s would have enough to manage on.

I think once you are a grown up and no longer making career / salary sacrifices for child rearing marriage in middle age is less necessary.

Your will can be challenged if you fail to make adequate provision for your spouse.

If you leave your spouse a life interest in your assets with them then passing to your children, that guarantees your children will inherit regardless of whether he marries, makes a new will or whatever.

I wouldn’t marry in that scenario because your primary financial relationship is with your children. Marriage would give a spouse a claim to money that should go to them in the event of your passing.