Ex told my daughter to say I have hurt her arm

[CRosa]

I have a home visit coming up due to my ex partner ringing social services to accuse me of hurting my child’s arm. I have asked my child abiut this and the child said daddy said you hurt my arm. I’m worrying incase social services can’t see manipulation on his part. I have never had any issues with my 2 children and I am their main carer. He has been arrested and has in direct contact with the eldest. I feel this is retaliation. How do I prove this to social worker he is manipulating my youngest and what type of questions do they ask.

Well, if she’s open to say it to you, there’s a high chance she will say it to the social worker.

Is there an actual injury?

Ok. Don’t tell her what to say, as then she might says “daddy said mummy hurt my arm but mummy said that daddy is making that up.”
The words need to come from her. You tell SS what you know and they’ll speak to her and hopefully she just tells them what dad said.

If he has a history of this sort of stuff, can you report this as harassment?

I’m surprised SS are even doing a home visit for this tbh. This sort of thing is usually a phone call, you say what you know and they say they can’t do any more as there’s no evidence. The same thing is likely to happen here. Have they asked for your daughter to be present and said they are going to speak to her?
Try not to worry. They will be very used to ex’s making malicious allegations. With his own arrest, that’s another point against him. Try to be as calm and open as you can.

What injury is there to her arm ?
How did she get the injury if there is one ?

Just be honest with the social worker about the situation and what has happened. Let them speak to your children and don’t tell your daughter what to say or not to say. Social workers are trained to speak with children in a way that allows them to speak openly about whatever they want. Is there an injury on her arm? If so just explain what happened if not the social workers won’t directly ask her. Without knowing the exact situation it is hard to say what they will ask, but you will be given chance to give your views. Don’t forget they will also be speaking to your ex about what he has reported and why and he will be asked a lot of questions about this.

Social workers deal with difficult relationships all of the time, they are generally pretty aware to the manipulation and coercion that can take place. Don’t worry.

Also to add, if something did happen with her arm it is best to be honest about this even if it was something small.

She had in injury 9 months ago. She fell and hurt her arm. I took her to hospital to check it. No concerns raised she did not say to hospital staff or day care staff or anyone at that time that I hurt her arm. He has manipulated her to think this and say it and when she did say that I hurt her arm she said daddy said.

How old is your daughter and how old was she when she hurt her arm 9months ago?