I’m really struggling as I write this. My ex recently applied for CMS, as he now lives with my other child, our 15-year-old son, who will be turning 16 soon. While I absolutely believe in supporting my child financially, I find the current situation incredibly unfair and heartbreaking.
My ex doesn’t seem genuinely invested in our son’s wellbeing. I’ve heard he was recently reported to social services for leaving him alone for entire weekends, possibly longer without food or proper care. He doesn’t provide for his basic needs like clothes, and yet I’m expected to pay maintenance through CMS, which doesn’t consider the full context.
What’s worse is that he withholds contact until I speak to him first about our relationship and even then, the conversation ends in verbal abuse and him tearing down my role as a mother, often using the fact that I grew up in care against me. It’s emotionally exhausting. I still support my son in any way I can, including paying for extra lessons, but my contributions seem invisible in the eyes of the system.
I’ve sought legal advice, but because of my son’s age, it feels like there’s no meaningful way to challenge this or protect his best interests. The emotional toll is overwhelming. I just wish there was more support for parents who are still trying to be present and responsible, even when the system doesn’t seem to recognise it.
If anyone else has experienced anything similar or has advice, I’d really appreciate hearing from you.