C100 specific court order, absent father - MIAM required?

[mrrossix]

Hi all

I want to change my sons name to be a double barrelled version of my name and my fiancés name (due to marry next year). The biological father "X" is not present (resides in another country) and hasn't been involved for 7 years. However, if we ask him (if we can contact him) is likely he will say "no" (for no real reasons other than spite/his personality) so we are looking at a specific court order (C100).

It says you have to attend MIAM but I don't think it's appropriate due to his absence? None of the exemption reasons in section 3 are valid though - so do we still need to do this / pay for this? Seems "silly" but the form suggests we need legal evidence we've tried this.

Also seen a lot about making contact. We have emailed him last week but no response. We could pursue other options (letter to his parents address which we think is still the same, find on social media etc?) but would also rather avoid contact if we can... will MIAM insist on this though too?

Thanks
x

Unless you meet an exemption, the law requires you to attend a MIAM.

Thank you - have started to reach out to mediators to get a quote for a MIAM.

Why poke the bear? If your child has your name already, why instigate something to add your fiancé's name?

If child had dads last name I can see why a judge would order double barreling to add your name, but why would the judge grant permission to add your fiancé's name when he is not related to your child? You're not even married. You could have your child's name changed and then end up not marrying.

You'd stand a much better chance of changing child's name to your name after marriage, but you'll have a steep hill to climb to persuade a judge to add your fiancé's name.

Sorry, didn't explain. My son has my ex's last name officially (passport, birth certificate) but is not known by that name, he is known by my last name (school, doctors etc). However it causes problems every time we need to register for something/show passport etc.

So maybe it would be best to just change to my last name then? Then we can change later when we get married / go through the step-parent adoption process.

I assume the MIAM would be giving us similar advice; will certainly ask that question!

The courts would be very reluctant to remove dads last name, they don't want to remove the link.

You would be highly likely to get an order to change your sons name to be a double barrel of your surname and his biological dad's surname. It would be almost impossible to remove biological dads name from the surname without his consent. Unless you can prove it's going to damage your son (e.g. dad being a convicted serial killer and that's very public knowledge) it just won't happen. Same with adoption, if biological dad objects the chances of the court severing parental rights and giving to your fiancé are very very slim.

Dad hasn't been involved since birth, for almost 7 years, lives in another country, never paid maintenance or sent birthday gifts etc.

Son is not know by that last name either.

Advice we've read over the last few months has suggested that if we cannot get hold of him or get his approval to change via deed pool then we had a good chance via specific order / that the courts would approve the name change, as that's what he's known by and dad not involved etc.

https://www.deedpoll.org.uk/can-i-change-my-childs-name/#eleven

Your child’s age is also a significant factor. If your child is under the age of five, it will be difficult to persuade a judge that it is in your child’s best interests to permit a name change. Being so young, it is unlikely your child will be experiencing emotional or behavioural problems or is upset by having to use the absent parent’s name. However, if your child is at least 11 years of age, it is much easier to obtain a court order because when a child reaches adolescence, judges take the child’s views into account. If your child is 14 years of age or over, it is very easy to obtain a court order because your child’s views will be paramount.

Please note, your chances of successfully obtaining a court order (for children of all ages) is greatly increased if you do not seek to remove the absent parent’s surname from your child’s surname (i.e. by double-barrelling your child’s surname). For young children, a two-stage strategy should be considered i.e. initially apply to change to a double-barrelled surname and if successful, you can apply again when your child is 11 years of age to have the absent parent’s name removed altogether.

Thank you. Our child is in between 5 and 11. I'm not sure we'd really want a double barrelled name with ex + mine, if it's not going to be possible to change to just mine or a new double barrelled name with mine + future husband / "dad" then we may as well wait until 11 years and try then with my new (married by then) double barrelled name.

We have made another attempt to try and contact the biological father, perhaps he will respond positively / at least give us some direction.

If he lives abroad habitually, he is exempt from having to attend a MIAM.

MIAM is voluntary so, if he refuses, you will get a certificate to say that you asked him to attend but he has refused, which fulfils the requirement to attend mediation before going to court. The court may order that you go back to mediation though.