Anyone have experience of a specific issue order re which school DC attends?

[Roxietrees]

Hello, just wondering if anyone has experience of going to court/arbitration for a specific issue order after you’ve been unable to agree on which school DC attends with ex partner? We have equal parental responsibility and no court involvement until now, always co-parented 50/50. Wondering what the court takes into consideration? Just which school is better or more than that? If so what else? I wrote a much longer post below if anyone feels like checking it out for the full story. Got no replies on it probably cos it was so long so be warned! Thanks for any advice :)

www.mumsnet.com/talk/divorce_separation/5316410-anyone-have-any-experience-of-specific-issue-order-re-which-school-child-attends?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

They will consider what is best for your DC. If the schools have the same 'reputation', they will look at other factors.

You said in your other post that you're worried about DC not making friends where you live, but presumably DC only lives there half the time, and will be able to make friends close to her other school?

Is the school you want her to go to a reasonable travel distance for your Ex to pick up/drop off?

Do you have evidence of the agreement between you and Ex to send her to that school? They may consider that if DC has been under the impression that she'll be attending for some time, it might be upsetting to change those plans. However your DC is very young with no established friendship groups, so ex may argue that she will get over this quite quickly.

It does sound like it could go either way.

Thank you for your reply. The school I want her to go to is a 20 min drive for Ex, maybe 23/24 mins with morning traffic. I think that is reasonable, ex does not. But issue is ex could have picked a school walking distance for her but she picked (and DD got accepted into) one that’s a 15 min drive for her (and 15-20 min for me). Therefore it’s in an area that neither of us live in. She argues it’s the best school close to her (which must her genuine reason) however I know for a fact there are plenty of other v good schools walking distance from her house. Ex is v picky about schools.

I have an email from her 2 weeks before the deadline saying she’d “changed her mind” about the school and felt I’d “pressured” her into it. That is not true and there is no evidence of this whatsoever.

Its just pretty stressful thinking this all needs to be decided in 2 weeks and ex is still banging on about “solicitor negotiation” and believes if the solicitors negotiate with each other they’ll be able to come to a decision. I’ve tried to explain that if we can’t come to a decision why would the solicitors be able to come to one? But she seems in denial that we’re actually gonna have to go to court.

I just think, on paper - one school is is a 15 min drive for both of us and one is a 5 min walk for one parent and a 20 min drive for the other. Surely that looks like the better option?

I’m guessing also, that at only 4 yo my DD’s wishes won’t be taken into consideration? Eg. She won’t be asked what school she thinks she’s going to or what school she wants to go to? Because she’s definitely under the impression she’s going to the school near me

I have an email from her 2 weeks before the deadline saying she’d “changed her mind” about the school and felt I’d “pressured” her into it. That is not true and there is no evidence of this whatsoever.

This could help your case...worth noting however that you can't tell a court how someone feels. Your Ex could have felt pressured by you for any number of reasons, it doesn't mean you had to be standing over them or pestering them to sign.

I just think, on paper - one school is is a 15 min drive for both of us and one is a 5 min walk for one parent and a 20 min drive for the other. Surely that looks like the better option?

It looks like the better option for you, on the face of it. I assume your Ex's position will be that you only want DC in that school because it's closer to you?

Will you be doing an equal amount of pick ups/drop offs? If you're doing the lion's share, the school being closer to you might be considered a more reasonable choice.

I’m guessing also, that at only 4 yo my DD’s wishes won’t be taken into consideration? Eg. She won’t be asked what school she thinks she’s going to or what school she wants to go to? Because she’s definitely under the impression she’s going to the school near me

Very unlikely at that age. At the end of the day, she's only under that impression because that's the impression you've given her. And its equally possible that she could be saying something completely different to her other parent when you're not around. However if you have evidence of having picked a certain school some time ago, it seems reasonable that she would be expecting to go there.