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Original poster

Lives with order

8 replies

Mumski73 · 13/04/2025 09:04

My ex has moved to Portugal. He plans to come back for around a week a month (at the moment)

I have DS living at home with me the rest of the time. do you think a “lives with order” would be a simple thing for me to apply for and get in this situation? Would he be able to argue it easily?

OP posts:
FortyElephants · 13/04/2025 09:06

Why do you need it? Applying for a child arrangements order is rarely a simple thing and should be avoided unless really necessary. I don't understand the arrangements - you say DS lives with you the rest of the time - would he be staying with Ex for that one week a month?

Queeneel · 13/04/2025 09:12

What will happen in that week he’s back?
Maintenance?

Original poster
Mumski73 · 13/04/2025 10:03

FortyElephants · 13/04/2025 09:06

Why do you need it? Applying for a child arrangements order is rarely a simple thing and should be avoided unless really necessary. I don't understand the arrangements - you say DS lives with you the rest of the time - would he be staying with Ex for that one week a month?

Thanks. This is because arranging simple such as a weeks holiday results in 55 emails asking for permission and never actually getting a straight answer. It is a joke. I cannot deal with the emotional abuse any longer.

I am talking about a “lives with order” not a CAO. A CAO is a bigger issue I believe and very strict with the routine.

he pays no maintenance either. Not a penny.

OP posts:
Queeneel · 13/04/2025 10:04

You need legal advice not mumsnet

Original poster
Mumski73 · 13/04/2025 13:57

Queeneel · 13/04/2025 10:04

You need legal advice not mumsnet

Thanks and I have had exactly that but sometimes it’s good to hear from others that have been in the same situation and to share experiences.

OP posts:
FortyElephants · 13/04/2025 14:24

Mumski73 · 13/04/2025 10:03

Thanks. This is because arranging simple such as a weeks holiday results in 55 emails asking for permission and never actually getting a straight answer. It is a joke. I cannot deal with the emotional abuse any longer.

I am talking about a “lives with order” not a CAO. A CAO is a bigger issue I believe and very strict with the routine.

he pays no maintenance either. Not a penny.

Show quote history

There is no separate lives with order. It's granted as part of a child arrangements order. I understand why you would want it to be able to take him on holiday without permission but you'll be better off applying for a specific issue order as and when it arises - ask for his agreement well in advance and if you don't get it, make an application to court. Keep all the previous communication as evidence of the difficulties in agreeing between you. You would benefit from a session of legal advice around this.

Queeneel · 13/04/2025 15:03

Mumski73 · 13/04/2025 13:57

Thanks and I have had exactly that but sometimes it’s good to hear from others that have been in the same situation and to share experiences.

Show quote history

And what is your solicitor saying then?

prh47bridge · 14/04/2025 09:23

I am talking about a “lives with order” not a CAO. A CAO is a bigger issue I believe and very strict with the routine.

As others have said, there is no such thing as a "lives with" order. A CAO can specify who the child lives with. It is possible to get a CAO that only specifies that - it doesn't have to lay down a strict schedule for contact.

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