Holiday consent

Mumski73 · 2025-04-12T21:40:52+00:00

Hello all. my DS (age 10) gets 3 weeks holidays. I have booked a week away with him, cheap and cheerful package holiday that he chose just me and him. My ex is currently refusing to give his consent for him to go. He feels he should be visiting him in Portugal (he lives there by choice) my son was not keen to go. My ex was home for 10 days and barely saw his son. Then flew back to Lisbon. I have sent email after email asking for consent but he twists it and controls the situation in his replies. how do I stop this happening in the future? I can’t deal with this everything my DS and I want to go on a holiday. thanks

Flamingo68 · 12/04/2025 22:42

Go to court and get a child arrangements order stating you are the resident parent, then you can take him abroad for up to 28 days without needing permission

Flamingo68 · 12/04/2025 22:43

You can also request a specific issue order for permission for the holiday in the meantime

Original poster

Mumski73 · 12/04/2025 23:02

Flamingo68 · 12/04/2025 22:42

Go to court and get a child arrangements order stating you are the resident parent, then you can take him abroad for up to 28 days without needing permission

Thanks. We need to mediation before this I assume?

OP posts:

Flamingo68 · 12/04/2025 23:24

Usually I think so, yes. But not sure on the specifics.

Tiswa · 12/04/2025 23:27

Probably not actually I think it is just an order the judge would grant

prh47bridge · 12/04/2025 23:56

Unless one of the exemptions applies, you have to attend an MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting) before taking legal action.

Sashya · 13/04/2025 00:19

@Mumski73 Are you talking about the holidays are have right now - or the summer?
I am not sure what "consent" you even need for a week-long holiday, and who and where would be checking it.

Presumably - for a 3 week holiday, you'll split it 50/50? And you have stated which week you will have with your son? Beyond that, you don't need his permission for what you do with your child on "your" time.

For e.g. - my exH has our kids this for 10 days over this spring holidays. We agreed dates in advance. They are traveling - as far as I know. But there was no "permission to travel" that was done by me. It is simply not necessary.

In the years we've been divorced - I have never been asked for any sort of permission when I travel with them. And neither did I ever had to formally agree with exH's travel plans.

Stop giving your Ex this much power, especially given that he moved to another country. You can tell him you are planning to have DC for dates X-Y over holiday Z. It's not his business what you do with DC on your days. And if he wants to have DC visit him - he can propose dates to you (or the child, it it's age appropriate). And proceed to ignore his whining. I would NOT be forcing my child going to Portugal against his will.
If Ex wants to be an involved parent - he'll be living in the same country with his DC and be in his daily life. As it is - he is gone, by choice. And you can simply ignore his complaints.

Don't be afraid to ignore him. He is just trying to be controlling.

I'd not even bother going to Court - why waste your time and energy. Do what you think is right. Let him go to Court - if he wants to stake his claim. BUT, given he moved away and is not present in his child's life - he'll have a very little claim to anything.

Original poster

Mumski73 · 13/04/2025 00:26

Sashya · 13/04/2025 00:19

@Mumski73 Are you talking about the holidays are have right now - or the summer?
I am not sure what "consent" you even need for a week-long holiday, and who and where would be checking it.

Presumably - for a 3 week holiday, you'll split it 50/50? And you have stated which week you will have with your son? Beyond that, you don't need his permission for what you do with your child on "your" time.

For e.g. - my exH has our kids this for 10 days over this spring holidays. We agreed dates in advance. They are traveling - as far as I know. But there was no "permission to travel" that was done by me. It is simply not necessary.

In the years we've been divorced - I have never been asked for any sort of permission when I travel with them. And neither did I ever had to formally agree with exH's travel plans.

Stop giving your Ex this much power, especially given that he moved to another country. You can tell him you are planning to have DC for dates X-Y over holiday Z. It's not his business what you do with DC on your days. And if he wants to have DC visit him - he can propose dates to you (or the child, it it's age appropriate). And proceed to ignore his whining. I would NOT be forcing my child going to Portugal against his will.
If Ex wants to be an involved parent - he'll be living in the same country with his DC and be in his daily life. As it is - he is gone, by choice. And you can simply ignore his complaints.

Don't be afraid to ignore him. He is just trying to be controlling.

I'd not even bother going to Court - why waste your time and energy. Do what you think is right. Let him go to Court - if he wants to stake his claim. BUT, given he moved away and is not present in his child's life - he'll have a very little claim to anything.

Thank you.i was advised that as we both have PR then he needs to give consent for travel. He’s a controlling narcissist…hence why we are no longer together.

OP posts:

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 13/04/2025 00:38

You do technically need permission and could be stopped on the way.
I would apply to court to free myself of his control, horrible man

janiejonstone · 13/04/2025 03:44

Sashya · 13/04/2025 00:19

@Mumski73 Are you talking about the holidays are have right now - or the summer?
I am not sure what "consent" you even need for a week-long holiday, and who and where would be checking it.

Presumably - for a 3 week holiday, you'll split it 50/50? And you have stated which week you will have with your son? Beyond that, you don't need his permission for what you do with your child on "your" time.

For e.g. - my exH has our kids this for 10 days over this spring holidays. We agreed dates in advance. They are traveling - as far as I know. But there was no "permission to travel" that was done by me. It is simply not necessary.

In the years we've been divorced - I have never been asked for any sort of permission when I travel with them. And neither did I ever had to formally agree with exH's travel plans.

Stop giving your Ex this much power, especially given that he moved to another country. You can tell him you are planning to have DC for dates X-Y over holiday Z. It's not his business what you do with DC on your days. And if he wants to have DC visit him - he can propose dates to you (or the child, it it's age appropriate). And proceed to ignore his whining. I would NOT be forcing my child going to Portugal against his will.
If Ex wants to be an involved parent - he'll be living in the same country with his DC and be in his daily life. As it is - he is gone, by choice. And you can simply ignore his complaints.

Don't be afraid to ignore him. He is just trying to be controlling.

I'd not even bother going to Court - why waste your time and energy. Do what you think is right. Let him go to Court - if he wants to stake his claim. BUT, given he moved away and is not present in his child's life - he'll have a very little claim to anything.

This isn't true - you do need permission from anyone else with parental responsibility to take a child out of the UK. https://www.gov.uk/permission-take-child-abroad#:~:text=A%20letter%20from%20the%20person,about%20taking%20a%20child%20abroad.

I'm newly separated and have just done this for the first time. Got stopped by French border control coming back into the UK. I have a different surname to my daughter, so I also have to carry her birth certificate with me.

If you've never been stopped then that's pure luck - technically you're breaking the law. As others have said though OP you would be easily able to get a Child Arrangements Order if your ex lives abroad. That would give you the ability to leave the country for 28 days without permission.

Get permission to take a child abroad

Permission from parents and courts to take a child on holiday abroad and avoid abduction

https://www.gov.uk/permission-take-child-abroad#:~:text=A%20letter%20from%20the%20person,about%20taking%20a%20child%20abroad.

prh47bridge · 13/04/2025 08:17

Sashya · 13/04/2025 00:19

@Mumski73 Are you talking about the holidays are have right now - or the summer?
I am not sure what "consent" you even need for a week-long holiday, and who and where would be checking it.

Presumably - for a 3 week holiday, you'll split it 50/50? And you have stated which week you will have with your son? Beyond that, you don't need his permission for what you do with your child on "your" time.

For e.g. - my exH has our kids this for 10 days over this spring holidays. We agreed dates in advance. They are traveling - as far as I know. But there was no "permission to travel" that was done by me. It is simply not necessary.

In the years we've been divorced - I have never been asked for any sort of permission when I travel with them. And neither did I ever had to formally agree with exH's travel plans.

Stop giving your Ex this much power, especially given that he moved to another country. You can tell him you are planning to have DC for dates X-Y over holiday Z. It's not his business what you do with DC on your days. And if he wants to have DC visit him - he can propose dates to you (or the child, it it's age appropriate). And proceed to ignore his whining. I would NOT be forcing my child going to Portugal against his will.
If Ex wants to be an involved parent - he'll be living in the same country with his DC and be in his daily life. As it is - he is gone, by choice. And you can simply ignore his complaints.

Don't be afraid to ignore him. He is just trying to be controlling.

I'd not even bother going to Court - why waste your time and energy. Do what you think is right. Let him go to Court - if he wants to stake his claim. BUT, given he moved away and is not present in his child's life - he'll have a very little claim to anything.

Pretty much every time someone posts about consent to travel abroad with children, we get posts like this from people who haven't bothered with consent and haven't had any problems. That is equivalent to saying you drove along the motorway at 100mph and weren't stopped by the police, so speeding is ok. The reality is that, if the other parent has PR, you need either their consent or a court order to take your child out of the country. It is a criminal offence to take a child out of the country unless you have either the consent of everyone with PR or an appropriate court order, although you are unlikely to be prosecuted unless you are attempting to remove the children permanently.

It is true that, in most cases, you won't encounter any problems if you don't get consent or a court order. But every year some parents miss out on the holiday they've paid for because they are refused boarding at the airport or refused entry at their destination.

Original poster

Mumski73 · 13/04/2025 08:18

janiejonstone · 13/04/2025 03:44

This isn't true - you do need permission from anyone else with parental responsibility to take a child out of the UK. https://www.gov.uk/permission-take-child-abroad#:~:text=A%20letter%20from%20the%20person,about%20taking%20a%20child%20abroad.

I'm newly separated and have just done this for the first time. Got stopped by French border control coming back into the UK. I have a different surname to my daughter, so I also have to carry her birth certificate with me.

If you've never been stopped then that's pure luck - technically you're breaking the law. As others have said though OP you would be easily able to get a Child Arrangements Order if your ex lives abroad. That would give you the ability to leave the country for 28 days without permission.

Show quote history

Thanks. Oh yes I’m stopped every time i travel with them. Have been for years. I carry their birth certificates with me and it’s not an issue. Never been asked for written permission even in Canada and USA

OP posts: