Hello, this is my first time posting on here, and I'm new to the site, but I'm desperately looking for legal advice or pointers for my sister, who's going through a really difficult divorce.
First a bit of background. My sister, early thirties, living in Wales, is divorcing her husband, who she’s been with since she was 17. They have two young children, and she currently lives with and cares for them. Their relationship was rocky for a while, but some things that stand out as prompting the divorce include:
- His obsession with cryptocurrency that led to financial instability.
- His infidelity (multiple affairs including while my sister was pregnant).
- Emotional abuse and controlling behaviour.
Their financial situation deteriorated a while ago due to investments in cryptocurrency. Here’s a breakdown of the financial situation:
- He took money from their joint account to invest in cryptocurrency without her consent.
- He took COVID grants for his businesses before shutting them down and putting the money into crypto.
- He refuses to contribute consistently to childcare costs, using money as a control tactic.
- My sister had to end maternity leave early to support herself and the children.
- She's struggling to pay bills, sometimes even for food.
- She can't get government assistance because she owns a house with equity.
- My parents and I are helping financially, but it's not sustainable.
- He’s threatened to leave the country if my sister “comes after” his crypto investments.
- He is barely working as he's focusing on a new venture of creating an online cryptocurrency course.
In addition to this, my brother-in-law has a history of being abusive. Here are a few examples:
- Physical intimidation: She started to record him when he visited the children as he was becoming increasingly abusive. One day, he realised he was being recorded after admitting to cheating on her. He chased her through the house and physically trapped her and their 9-month-old against the front door as she tried to escape. Police were called and came to the house but didn't follow up.
- Threats of violence: He threatened to "crush my skull in" if I went near my nephew. I’m gay, and he thinks that makes me a bad influence and role model.
- Financial control: He refused to pay agreed-upon solicitor fees (£800) unless she apologised and told him she "respected him”. This is one of many instances of him withholding money for similar reasons.
- Gaslighting: Regularly calls her "crazy," "dense," and questions her intelligence.
- Withheld money for children until she revealed who told her about his affairs. She didn’t reveal it to protect the person who told her from being attacked, and he still uses it months later.
- There are many other examples of violence against other people.
My sister has a solicitor, but the costs are mounting quickly (charges for every email/call). She works 4 days a week while raising two young children with minimal support from him. He sees the children 3 times a week for a few hours at the house, but while he’s there is often horrible to my sister and puts her down in front of the children. The solicitor advised her to "not poke the bear" and possibly let him keep the crypto investments to secure the house.
Some questions I have are:
- What legal aid options exist for someone in her situation?
- Which domestic abuse organisations are best at helping with situations like this?
- How can she enforce consistent child maintenance payments? He’s self-employed and only puts the minimum through the books.
- Should she report the previous physical intimidation incident again? Will the recording be of any use if things go further?
- What documentation should she be keeping of his behavior?
Thanks in advance for any advice. This situation is becoming increasingly stressful for my sister, and we don’t see a way out of it!
TL;DR: My sister is going through a divorce with an emotionally and financially abusive husband who has taken their money for crypto investments, has physically intimidated her, withholds child support, and uses financial control tactics. She can't afford ongoing legal fees. What legal support options exist in the UK for her situation?