I’m posting on behalf of my sister who lives somewhere in the UK. She’s been in a marriage for over 10 years and has 3 young children—all of whom are British citizens. She herself is not British and has no income or qualifications. She also has dyslexia, which makes things even harder.
She lives in a very toxic joint family household with her husband’s extended relatives—including his parents, siblings, their spouses, and children. She has spent over a decade doing unpaid housework, cooking, and childcare—while facing constant emotional pressure and criticism from in-laws.
Her husband is emotionally controlling:
• Gives her no proper money—only small change occasionally.
• Constantly checks her phone and messages.
• Blames her for being upset or quiet when she’s mentally exhausted.
• Refuses to move out of the joint family home even though she has begged for peace.
• Today he tried to throw her out of the house—his father stopped it from happening.
• He’s also told our father before that he might try to have her declared “mentally unwell” so he can take the kids.
She doesn’t want a divorce—she just wants space, safety, and a small place to live with her children where she can try to build her life again.
I’m very worried for her. She has no support network in the UK—no friends, no money, and no legal knowledge. She’s completely isolated.
We’re looking for any advice:
• Can she get help from the council for housing?
• Would she be eligible for Universal Credit or support as a mother of British children?
• Can she access legal advice or a women’s refuge, even without being a citizen?
• Can she take any free adult education courses to start building her confidence and independence?
I’ve never felt this helpless, and I want to do everything I can for her. Thank you to anyone who reads and replies.