Tenants In Common and Deed of Trust

[LittleMissSunshine96]

My son is about to buy his first property with his girlfriend. He is putting in all of the deposit (£90,000) and she will be contributing £1000 a month towards the mortgage and bills. She has a small sum of savings that she will spend on furniture for the house.

He has been advised to do a “Tenants in Common” and get a deed of trust which he planned on doing. Now his girlfriend’s parents have told her not to sign anything unless these documents no longer stand when they have their first child. The mother wants a greater percentage and wants her daughter to have the house along with any of their future children. I need to know what happens to a Tenants In Common and a fed of trust once a child is born and if they stay unmarried. My son is devastated and is still hoping they can find a way forward but without him loosing his deposit which has been saved for him by deferent family members since he was born 29 years ago😔

Interesting to see this thread in Active alongside www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5309057-aibu-to-expect-the-house-value-to-be-split-evenly

I think this would be a deal breaker.

He needs to have his 90k ring fenced. Children or no children. Marriage or no marriage.

He will probably be better off buying by himself and having her pay him rent/split the bills.

What percentage of the mortgage/bills is 1k?

What percentage of the value is 90k?

Sounds a bit like she's got anxious parents who don't want to see their daughter chucked out on the street if it all goes pear shaped. Which is fair enough.
But if their daughter is bringing basically nowt to the deal they can't expect her to have a large share of the property if they sell/split up/she gets pregnant. 1k is hardly rent really.

A formalised agreement of expectations on pregnancy/split up does sound a good idea though. With review periods built in. Have they been together a long time?.

But you do see it every day on here where an unmarried couple split up after a long time together when the house in in partners name alone so the caregiving, lower paid female end up with nothing.

Tenants in common means he would have no right to her share (and vice versa) if they split or one died. (If they held the house as joint tenants then the survivor would automatically inherit.) It would therefore protect his input enabling him to leave and not need to give her ( and any children) any financial security except what she could get through the courts for children ( very precarious).

It is of course possible for him to write a will leaving his estate to her but wills can be altered without the knowledge of the partner. If he has no intention of marrying her, therefore, it leaves her and any future children in a very vulnerable situation. This is why women marry to give themselves ( and children) financial protection. If he is not intending to marry asap or at all it would indicate to me that he is not committed to her nor a serious proposition for their children and she should move on.

We need more detail about the trust ie who would be the trustees , who would benefit etc.

They were longtime married in this thread, so different scenario

Your son is in a very fortunate position to have the deposit he has, his girlfriends parents are also looking out for her which is understandable.

If she has a child and he has the house she has no right to it plus she loses any ability to earn.

A solicitor will be able to offer options here on how to ring fence the deposit whilst acknowledging the contribution the girlfriend is making.

A Deed of Trust for this purpose doesn't require the OP to provide any further information as it is purely to split the ownership of the property. We do however need to know the split given by the DoT, it doesn't need to be 50:50. He needs to protect his deposit and she needs to protect whatever contribution she makes, so it needs to be fair not equal.

Check out the post by Throughthebluebells at 27/02/2025 21:29

It should give you the information you need.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5309057-aibu-to-expect-the-house-value-to-be-split-evenly

Thank you all. The value of the house is £390000. The mortgage will cost £1,300 a month They will marry at some point just no plans at the moment. I just want my son to not loose his deposit if things don’t work out.

My son is happy for every thing to be 50/50 for everything else even though he will be spending more money than her on the house ie bills, decorating etc. I fully understand that his girlfriend’s mum is looking out for her daughter. She just hasn’t been very kind and has voiced her opinion in an inappropriate way. If they did have a child my son would most definitely support his child.

IMO / IME he would be best asking the Deed to specify that they own the % of the house that is mortgaged 50/50, and he owns the % that he has paid with his deposit. i.e he owns:
23% of the equity as that was put down as deposit by your Ds
plus they each own
38% of any further equity at any one time because that is the split of the remaining £300,000 that has been paid by mortgage.

Then in her shoes I would decline to have children without being married. In a divorce the house would be split according to need, though after short marriage your DS's deposit would probably still be considered still his.

If they are planning to get married anyway and have children and are buying property together...why don't they just get married. Ring fence the deposit. Everything else is shared. Put the house as tenents in common so if he died it goes to her. Only in the case of divorce does he reclaim the deposit.

Tbh I would be worried about the lack of commitment from him and would want security before blowing up my own income and independence by having a child.

A repayment mortgage on these figures would be £1670 / month. on top of that they will have buildings and contents insurance, life insurance, council tax, gas and electricity, Tv license, Wi-Fi , repairs and mainetenance , decorating etc .

Do your own calculations here.

tools.moneyhelper.org.uk/en/mortgage-calculator?isEmbedded=false&calculationType=interestonly&price=390%2C000&deposit=90%2C000&termYears=25&rate=4.5#results

So there is no chance that all their household bills will come to £2000/ month. And his GF is planning to put in 1000/ month max.

So your son needs to accept that his GF is either unable or unwilling to be an equal financial parter in their relationship. She can’t afford half a £390,000 house.

So either he is happy with that . Or they buy a cheaper place within BOTH their budgets.

Or he moves on and looks for someone he feels is a better match for him.

He needs to ringfenced his deposit and work out percentage of house purchase. Then go halves on the mortgage payments and any work on house and bills going forward. If a DC is born he will need to pay pension for his gf. He could make a will leaving his half of house including deposit to his DC with gf allowed to live there until DC was 18 or 21.

Keep the 90k and invest it they put equal deposits down and he can use the interest to pay towards the extra mortgage

I did this once out in the deposit and it led to lots of arguments, but with me the deposit was half the house price ! Never again

what I would tell him to do is

They both put in the same amount of deposit (she has to find her half)
He only uses deposit out of the 90k and puts the rest in an isa (which can be used to pay his s”part of the mortgage)
Everything literally has to be straight down the line 50-50 mortgage, bills
This is the only way this would work out without any arguments bitterness down the line

Just because they may have a child further down the line , doesn’t mean he has to put a roof over her & childs head
maintenance yes , more share of a house NO

in answer if still unmarried and have a child deed of trust still stands house is totally separate to child maintaince. Yes your son has a large deposit but it sounds rubbish agreement for her basically you are expecting her to pay rent without any security by signing the deed of trust. I assume you mean a deed of trust written so she doesn’t have a legal interest in the house.

How old are they and have they lived together before? Is he stringing her along? Why mention marriage in the future if there are no plans to get married right now? I can't decide if her parents are being unreasonable or have a right to be concerned because of his behaviour.

Is there a large discrepancy in their income? He wants to go 50/50 but does he earn significantly more than her? Does she expect to progress in her career or be a stay at home mum? The child comment is making me uncomfortable because I wonder if that's been a sticking point in their relationship?

£90k is a huge amount of money. My deposit was £50k between the two of us 5 years ago. I would advocate huge caution and I think you need to get to the bottom of a number of things.

Your DS is paying just under 1/4 of the price of the house, and her parents expect his GF to be entitled to an equal share?
Your Ds needs to realise that if he goes along with her parents wishes, she could leave him days after the sale goes through and end up with £45k without batting an eyelid. No way would I be agreeing to this!
His Gf has 2 choices, 1 - put in an equal amount of deposit as him and pay 50% of all household bills. 2 - find another mug to fund her lifestyle.

Women can have children and jobs, she doesn’t lose all ability to earn on having a child.

DH and I planned for him to take 6 months shared parental and then go to part time (and potentially not back to work at all) after having our baby so my earning potential was not impacted.

This, this is the way. They can change it in the future if proportions paid in vary. If they have a child then they need to reconsider so that he shares his income.

But she would have to pay rent anywhere . . . and why shouldn't he ring fence his deposit. She can say no marriage, no children, at which point they will need to renegotiate. Of course the relationship may not last that long.

No: A Deed of trust that says what proportion of the house each party own. That is what a Deed of Trust is when it is linked to buying as Tenants in Common.

So she would own the proportion that she pays for.

And as this is clearly new to you: no Tenants in Common doesn’t actually mean one is a rent paying tenant. It’s just what it’s called.

The other way of buying a house with someone is as joint tenants, where they each have an equal claim and if one dies the other automatically owns the whole thing.

What amount of deposit do they need to buy the house? Why not put in the minimum amount with them contributing to that deposit equally and then he invest what is left of the £90k.

Seems the best way to ensure it is protected and everyone feels on equal footing in terms of the house.

In terms of the living costs, these should be split equally if they are earning similar. If she earns less and that leaves her tight for money then they could potentially contribute proportionally. If he doesn't want to do that then find a cheaper house they can each afford.

We did what @CarrieOnComplaining suggests, as I had a deposit from a previous house sale. If I remember rightly, I owned 70% initially. We did have reviews agreed, and over time we’ve amended the percentage owned to reflect our individual contributions - financial and sweat equity on a renovation, for example - and now have 50% each, with the Deed of Trust leaving our shares left to the kids, with life interests for each of us.

It’s unreasonable to expect your son to risk his deposit, but it’s also unreasonable not to agree that life changes will need to be factored in, and decide how and when that will be reviewed.