Family Matters

[Summervibesarecoming]

Hi everyone
I’m after some reassurance regarding the following scenario. So my husband has one adult daughter from a previous marriage and we have been married ourselves for fifteen years.
His mother is declining and my husband is at the solicitors this week to get POA to manage her healthcare and finances which he already does mostly. He is taking along his daughter for the meeting and is going to appoint her to manage things for his mother if he should die before his mother. I’m feeling a bit pushed to one side.
any thoughts?

Perhaps his mother has expressed that she’d rather have her granddaughter than her daughter-in-law manage her affairs? It would seem more in the natural order of things without any “pushing aside” being implied. Is there a particular reason you’d like POA over your MIL after your husband’s death or don’t think his daughter the right person to have it?

My grandparents have appointed me over my mum. No bad feelings there, ultimately their decision which we respect.

seems quite reasonable to me. For one thing, politely, your Mil's finances are not your business.

Isn’t this just because she’s younger and therefore more likely to be in good health for longer?

In the situation that your husband died when his DM was already needing a lot of assistance from him, I’m not sure you’d be best placed to jump in, possibly even before the funeral. There is nothing to stop you offering to help your DSD in her role with her DGM at that point but at least it wouldn’t be your primary responsibility. I think he is being kind if not very communicative.

Slightly late response but logically having younger generations as one of the Attorneys makes a lot of sense.