Withdrawing DV report

[kittykat5839]

I reported a dv report against previous partner, I then got an email to say he will be invited for an interview.

I wanted to report this without it being escalated just so they had it on file somewhere. However I don’t want to persue the case.

how do I withdraw this without him knowing I made the report in the first place

please help very stressed out

He's not an amazing dad. If he's been violent to you he can be violent to your child too.

Ok and you cannot make that stammer being a stranger begging a screen .. being in a 8year relationship I defo think I know more if your not any help please don’t comment

@kittykat5839- have you made a statement?

The police have a duty to investigate domestic abuse - regardless of the wishes of the victim. This is largely to protect victims as (a) often they’re not very good at recognising the severity of abuse and (b) it is safer for victims (as the decision to pursue is police led not victim led, it’s pointless the perpetrator putting pressure on the victim).

In reality, if the police did not attend a live incident and have only your account, there is limited evidence. If you feel unable to provide a statement or retract one you’ve already made, they would have to introduce your initial account to them under hearsay rules, which can be challenging. Sometimes supervisors will file these as failing to meet the evidential threshold without any further action being taken. However, a good supervisor would consider whether an interview of the suspect might help gain evidence to meet that threshold. If they think it’s unlikely and an interview will achieve nothing other than putting you in a more risky situation, they may choose to file before interview. However, there are many variables to this.

Your best bet would be to speak to the officer in the case or his/her supervisor to talk it through - not least because there may be risk factors you need to consider to keep yourself safe.

IMO however, based on many years of experience, you’re better off reporting. It sends a clear message you won’t tolerate poor behaviour. The problem with trying to maintain a friendly relationship is that it will only ever be friendly on the abuser’s terms - as soon as your agendas diverge, their true colours will come out again.

If you genuinely believe he's a good guy and Dad why did you make the report? I think you're lying to yourself because you're scared.

@Newcounty your more than welcome to have your opinion but In best respects go find yourself another thread as your not really much help here I asked for advice not your two pence

That's fine, you're not ready to accept help. But please, do the Freedom programme. If not for you, for your child.

The police have a right to continue to investigate dv even if you don't comply due to a general risk to other women op they may not choose to but they can if they wish to

Also don't be surprised if they've notified social services as you have a child together it's their duty to safe guard your child followed by you they care nothing for him as should you I'm afraid to say op I wish you well

When a crime is investigated and prosecuted it is done in the name of the Crown (i.e. the State). It is literally the Crown vs the defendent. It is not the victim vs the defendent. For that reason, the victim does not have the final say on whether or not a crime is investigated or prosecuted. They are often required to provide some of the evidence and crimes can be a lot harder to investigate without their cooperation, but they are not in the driving seat and are not the decider on whether or not it is taken forward etc.

You have reported a crime and it would still be a crime even if you gave your permission or consented to it. I could beg someone to thump me in the face, it would still be a crime when they did so (legal exceptions exist for sports like boxing and other activities that require one person to harm another, such as tattooing). Once the police are aware of a crime they are duty bound to investigate it as far as is reasonably possible and present it for prosecution if the evidence is strong enough.

Why did you make the report? Kindly, what were you hoping to achieve?

That may not be a bad thing
I am going to assume he assaulted you, why would you care if someone who hurt you never spoke to you again?

@FortyElephantshey thank you for being nice about this.

I made the report to log his behaviour for safeguarding measures.
I nearly wanted them to just know that something had happened.

however after the report I got an email saying that “they will be inviting him for an interview” however it’s very likely that he will deny everything and I made very clear at the time that I didn’t want to take anything further just to make a simple report and to have it logged somewhere

I didn’t tell him I was making the report and now we are on the best terms we have ever been and I feel like this will cause more damage to our relationship than anything he could potentially never speak to me again

If the offence is serious enough, the CPS can prosecute without a witness statement. This is vital as many women are silenced through fear, further violence or intimidation.

You have chosen not to give a statement which is your call but the CPS may make their own decision to support you any other women.

he needs to be held to account for what he did , he needs to know you will report violence

you don’t need to be friendly to co parent well just a basic level of decency, respect will suffice , if he can’t do this their are apps and go between that can be used

other partners need to be aware that violence has happened via Clare’s law

I’m just going to tell police that I lied even though I didn’t just to get this over with .. I’ll take whatever consequences but I just regret speaking to the police

Are you living with him? The peak time for DV is when you have reported them / are trying to leave. I understand you now don't want to split, but you're going to be at risk again once her finds out you made the report. SS will most likely be in touch too, as someone else said, because they're automatically notified as you have a child. They will want to know what you're doing to keep your child safe.

I see.
the problem is there is no way to simply log something. If it's just your word that it happened then it's not actually evidence of anything. The police can't take people's word for it that something happened, they have to investigate it. Otherwise it's recorded as a NFA which doesn't really help much if they or children's services are trying to build a case in future. To be fair, children's services would consider this as part of a bigger picture even if it was NFA but the police really can't.

Don't do that / they could arrest you.

Why are you so concerned about keeping things sweet ? He wasn’t concerned when he got violent with you ?

if he never speaks to you again , so what ? His loss - surely ? Do you still love him? Hoping for a reconciliation?

You know he will just assault you again, right? He's done it once, you know he's capable of it. Don't put your child in that position.

She's trying to navigate co parenting safely. This is really hard with an abusive man.

@FortyElephants I feel like I have no other way out instead of making me feel safe and taken care of it’s like they’ve told me that I can drop it and then going ahead with it anyways. I just don’t know wheat to do ??

@pimplebumyes I was hoping to make things right with him but this is just going ruin everything

Do not tell the police you lied , you could end up with a criminal record

he’s really got a hold on you , hasn’t he ? Are you seeking real life advice ? I think you need support

You're in trouble with SS for not keeping him away from the kids after they told you too aren't you OP?

Now you're worried the kids are gonna be taken away.

If you say you lied, you'll be prosecuted.

Are you gonna tell us what he did?

If she was concerned with safety (for her AND her child) then they would split and she should be doing all she can to keep her child safe. Pretending it hasn't happened isn't keeping anyone safe.