Widower father and his new partner - he has bought new house and she is moving in

[1wokeuplikethis]

My mum died 5 years ago and my father has recently sold their property (our family home) to move closer to remaining family. He has bought a new house in his name only but his new girlfriend will be moving in with him imminently as she would no longer have to work to pay rent and so could retire thanks to dad.

I have a lot of feelings about this but I’m not looking to get into his vulnerabilities or potential romance fraud as I have already spoken to him about this.

but should she outlive him, would she be able to stay in the house and claim it as her own, would she be entitled to any of this inheritance/property? Inheritance that my mother and father built together and had always planned to leave to me and my sister? There was never any plan to give any share to new partners/girlfrieds as I don’t think that had even been considered given that they were married for over 50 years.

he has only just moved in and she has not yet officially moved in so I’m looking for any legal or property or inheritance advice before anything progresses.

thanks

He’s allowed to move on it’s been five years.

Some of the mean spirited replies here are quite shocking.
Widowed people may potentially be vulnerable to exploitation of course, but to find happiness again after losing your life partner is something to be celebrated.
Anyway, I'm so sorry you lost your mum OP, and hope you find peace with your dad's choices, whatever they end up being.

So parents shouldn’t be allowed to be happy again because your own greed trumps them having company?

He should make a will, name beneficiaries wrt his life insurance and pension, set up any trusts necessary immediately if not already done.
If he gets married, any existing will immediately becomes invalid and he needs to make another.
He should pay a solicitor or an IHT planner to make sure everything is done properly.

If he gets married and doen't make a new will his new wife will get a large chunk of his estate and tge rest will be distributed according to intestacy laws.

It’s the father’s money not anyone’s inheritance. It’s only an inheritance once someone dies and leaves you in the will. Whilst they are living they are free to spend what they want on who they want

An awful lot of people l know have been through this scenario, including myself, in my case mother remarried 6 years after my dad died, l wasn’t happy but more like l felt she wasn’t respecting my dad’s memory, stupid l know, l was in my late thirties. The new husband didn’t live a year and died suddenly from an undiagnosed condition, he left mother really comfortable, he had no children.

A friends dad moved in with a woman six weeks after his wife’s death and a friend of my husband started seeing another woman within two weeks of his wife’s death, they had no children but she did and had been divorced 3 times already, she was poor and targeted him. He’s incredibly stupid but she died last year, so it didn’t go to plan.

My dad did similar and you know what, I was happy he was happy, that he had companionship, etc. He actually married the (20 year younger) gf and I was still happy! When he was poorly and then dying she was amazing.

OP - I don't think she would have any claim unless he marries her or names her in hsi will.

Cases like these are always so messy.

My sister just broke up with her long-term partner because he wanted them to buy a house together and she said no. She has two children from a previous relationship and she said that she didn’t want to risk any chance of the children losing out on the inheritance from the house when she dies (I.e by him having the rights to the house/her money and not her children).

My parents are the same. They divorced over 35 years ago and neither of them have ever lived with someone else because they too said they don’t want any of the inheritance (house/finances) going to anyone but me or my sister.

They’ve both had long term relationships since their divorce obviously (my dad has been with his partner for almost 15 years), but they will never live with someone.

If it was my father, I’d (try!) and be happy he had a companion in later years.
I’d encourage him to have an up to date will that protects family assets and is clear what happens upon his death.
I’d also encourage him to think about what happens if he needs the money from the house to fund a care home or similar.
I’d also suggest strongly that he gets POA for finances and H/W in place as soon as possible with you and your sister as attorneys.

In theory he could leave everything to her and then she could leave it to her children (if she has any) so any assets that were your Mums could end up with the new girlfriends children.
Your Dad could also leave it to you with the proviso that she can live there as long as she wants, this is the situation we are dealing with and its not great for anyone involved in our case.
Depends on his will really but if this woman IS after his money I imagine she will want to get married as that will invalidate any existing will.

why would it be the (adult) child's business if a parent moved in a new partner? what makes you think an adult child would be entitled to 'see her/him off'?
their life, their house, their money
unless of course, the adult child is scared of losing their inheritance to the new partner...

Why should he 'protect inheritance'? It's his money to spend as he wishes, not the business of the 'potential' inheritee
the greediness of people on here is incredible

This is why we are redoing our wills. We're late 50s, two adults DCs, and I want our wills to protect my half of our assets should DH remarry/move in with someone etc.

We've been together since our teens and he says he wouldn't be interested in anyone else, but I would want him to move on, I wouldn't want him to be lonely. Most men don't function very well alone, many more women do.

I think as long as they don't marry, she doesn't pay/contribute to improvements on the home and makes some contribution to bills then a claim would be difficult. I understand your concerns OP, there's lots of CLs out there and you are just looking out for your family.

Yeah sure, my view shouldn’t be skewed by what others have said on here: I’ve stated that she brings him happiness and companionship, she is doing very well out of the scenario, I don’t know her from Adam.

she might be taking advantage. She might be a wonderful woman who will nurse him in 20 years. It’s too soon to say, but things regarding huge sums of money and estates are happening now and that’s what I wanted advice on - which I’ve received plenty, so thanks to those posters, it’s appreciated.

It’s nothing to do with greed. It’s these old men who even though they were married 50 years seem to just view the role of “wife” as a position to be filled. I suppose the OPs father had the decency to wait 5 years but we all know of “devoted husbands” who literally picked up their next placeholder at their wife’s funeral.

This is the povvo view.

In the upper classes they view inheritance as family money and are merely custodians of it until it passes to the next generation. This is how generational wealth is created.

If the OPs father inherited from his parents, his in laws and then his wife, morally (if not legally) it’s not his money to splash around on this new woman and he should be looking ahead to pass wealth to his children.

It seems to be the underclasses who make it a sport to spend all funds in their possession before they pop their clogs.

Nobody is entitled to anything. Except the "old codger' to live his life as he chooses.

Why shouldn't he be happy?

Ignoring the inheritance, something else to consider is cost of care and how that will be funded.

Does the new partner have any claim on the home & other assets if the DF needs paid for care? Few imagine themselves needing care but what will be the new partner's position if DF needs to go into a care home and the home needs to be sold to pay for it?

For that matter, what will the partner's position if she needs care? Again, will DF have to pay for this?

Having seen the care home costs for DMIL and now DM, these can burn their way through assets at a frightening rate.

I definitely do t have a povvo view I do quite well tbh so quite rude of you to assume.
Its just not an entitled view.
(I’ve also had family money twice)

In England, nobody has any automatic right to an inheritance, and we should all set our expectations at zero.
Your dad can leave his house & assets to whoever he likes, OP. Just be glad that he is happy in his life.

They may be looking for someone to look after them more than sex. Plenty of older men don't cook or clean or "look after themselves". Unfortunately neither do plenty of younger ones too.

There is no such thing as "family money". The money now belongs entirely to the OP's father.

I don't know what circles you move in, but I don't know anyone who has behaved like this.

I am also very much not a 'povvo' as you so revoltingly put it, and have made it very clear to my recently widowed parent that I want them to be happy and comfortable for the rest of their life. If that means I get nothing and they marry again, then so be it.