Protect my inheritance from husband

[Pippyls67]

Im in a marriage with a man whose really rather unusual. No intimacy for around last 20 years and getting more and more grumpy and distant. Mostly in his own sitting room when home from work and never socialises. As I don’t know if it’s me or just the way he is now ( I strongly suspect the latter) I don’t want a divorce as I’m happy enough in myself and our kids are at Uni and love our family when they are home. It’s a very big deal to them. Problem is I’m due to inherit a great deal from recently deceased DF. Our house plus additional land areas. I’m afraid secretly that he’ll leave and take half when I want it to go to our kids eventually. That’s what my dad wanted too. How do I ensure the wealth is safe for them. Trusts are the obvious route but expensive. Is a post nup a realistic option? He might sign one as he’s all for the kids too right now to be fair. If he ever met anyone else though I know this could change. He’s very easily impressed by younger women in my experience and genuinely does think he’s Gods gift to any woman despite his age. It makes me laugh but I think it’ll be pretty worrying for me if he’s ‘loaded’ too! So should I go the route of a postnup? We’ve lived in the family home together for the last 20 years. It was half owned by my dad and half by me. It will come to me entirely after probate along with lots of land as I said. Thanks you so so much to anyone who answers. It’ll save maybe broaching a difficult subject and making things even more chilly at home! I’m happy I share the inheritance as a family but just don’t want him going off and taking half then remarrying and it leaving the childrens possession.

Sorry, no real advice, but I think at this stage advice from solicitors and trusts etc, whilst expensive, will be a lot cheaper than the alternative. It will definitely be worth paying out to protect the assets for your children, especially if he’s on-board with that. Just don’t tell him the real reason you’re doing it, it might not have entered his head - it sounds like he’s onto a good thing at the minute! Housing costs met, a ‘wife’ doing the ‘wife work’ and little effort from him regarding the relationship.

Maybe get it all sorted and then you divorce him - life is too short to be little more than housemates just because your (almost adult) children like the set-up. Speaking from bitter experience 🙄

Could you do a deed of variation and hold the money with the solicitors until the children are say 25 years old?

It was up to your Father to create a Will that would have protected his Grandchildrens’ inheritance.
With a long marriage like yours , your Husband is potentially entitled to half of everything should you divorce.
You might be able to have a deed of variation as you are the only current beneficiary, giving half to your children but as they are adults then they would be in control of the money.

I can’t do a deed of variation sadly as it’s just over two years since dad died. Long time sorting probate I know but that’s another story. Can I give everything to my adult kids now ( bar the house) but somehow have it held til they are 30 say before they get to spend it? I’m guessing not. Also can I set up as discretionary trust for my kids with everything in it bar the house if my Dh disagrees? Is he able to veto this seeing as we’ve been married so long. Im the only named beneficiary. Thank you for any legal pointers.

Tricky, I think you need expert legal advice 😬

If I’m honest I don’t really think Dh even likes me very much and I’m actually worried he might be just waiting til probate comes through. God I just don’t want to think about it!!!! I’ve been in denial about how empty our relationship is I guess. More focused on the kids - both of who have been unwell. It’s all catching up with me now sadly. I just hope it’s not to late to protect them.

Your dad should have willed his share of the property to his grandchildren rather than to you. As it stands, you’re married and the house is the marital home: there’s nothing you can do to remove your husband’s entitlement.

You can set up a trust for your children to hold any money, but the disadvantage of this (as well as the cost of administering it) is that whilst it deprives your husband of the money it would also deprive you: if you’re concerned that he might leave you then you’ll presumably want and need access to some money yourself.

1. Decide on the state of your marriage.
2. See a solicitor regarding the inheritance.
3. Don't spend any more of your life just making do
4. Stop using the kids as a reason to stay. It's not fair.

Thank you for this. I’m not too worried about loosing half the house to him if it comes to it. That’s fair enough and I could take it. I really want to protect the land for the kids tho. He’s had nothing to do with any of that previously and it seems wrong he could take half. I want to give it to the kids. It’s been in my family for generations and would grow in value I’m sure. How could I do that but protect it so it was safe if say they got married young and it didn’t last. Half of marriages don’t after all.

Your kids are at uni. Just give them a chunk of the money once you get it

A watertight trust costs about £800.

Bargain.

You’re right to worry about divorce. I know a couple where DW waited for wealthy FIL to
pop clogs before he left.

You can make a Deed of Variation, which will permit you to pass on inheritance directly to the children now. We did this recently, it was simple in our case - it was a lump sum in cash, going to our only child. We were able to DIY. I think you should consult a solicitor, as you have property, and more than one child.

Yes - it’s actually land tho not money. I suppose them owning it now is the best option.

You really need to see a solicitor. Inherited money isn't always considered a matrimonal asset in the UK (if that's where you live) but there are cases when it is. It's too risky not to do this properly.

Thats horrific! How desperately sad. Just cruel.

Gift it straight to them.

Inheritance can be protected, especially in the case of land that has been in the family for generations going to the children, but you need a solicitor

You need legal advice as there are too many variables.

Did you own your share of the property before you were married ? Does he have a source of income ? Can he support himself if you were to divorce ?

If you owned the property before marriage, it's not a matrimonial asset. The inheritance is not a matrimonial asset. However if you divorce, the Court will consider whether his needs require them to take both of these assets of yours into account and they can be affected that way. The way in which you deal with the inheritance is also important as if you 'intermingle' it, it's more likely to become classed as matrimonial.

All in all, getting legal advice before you receive the inheritance is absolutely critical. And probably a good idea to update your will as well to ensure your assets pass to your children

You can still do Deed of Variation but it wouldn't count to save IHT against your own estate being more than 2 years after your Ddd's death.

Are the house and land on the same title?

Make sure that any money from the estate never goes into a joint bank acct with your DH. My understanding is that an inheritance can be considered as your sole property and not up for grabs in a divorce as long as it has never been used for joint family benefit. So you might not be able to protect the house but maybe the land.

You also need to explore the implications for your Dc if you vary the Will at this stage and give them the share of the house in trust etc. If it is not their main residence the impact of CGT in the future. That part ownership of a property means they are not first time buyers, etc.

Talk to a solicitor - fast! And before talking to your DH about any of this.

If it's after two years as you say you can't vary your dads will.

I'd stick it all into a discretionary trust now even though youve missed that 2 year cut off; if you think you may split. Make sure you chose good trustees so that they are careful how payments are made to you; not regularly for example. You need to chose between the benefits of a trust and the complications/cost of a trust. What's more important to you?

Make sure your own will only gives him anything you own in your sole name that's worth a lot (eg your share of the house if you own as tenants in common) in trust. By way of a life interest or a right of occupation. A spouse has a lot of rights under a will (over and above adult kids often) and you need to give him what is "reasonable", which will.be assessed by a court if he contests. You don't want him to contest and he hopefully won't if it's his own kids he will be shafting.

Speculate to accumulate see a solicitor and pay to make it watertight. I know two people who would not leave their marriage until their husband inherited. One was quite blatant. Then they left. Actually I know three, the third one is in waiting, but I think she’s been foiled as it looks like the MIL will die first and the property will go to MIL’s current husband.

Although a Deed of Variation can be done at any time, from a tax-saving point of view, it must be completed within 2 years of the date of death.

https://dootsons.co.uk/services/wills-and-trust/deed-of-variation#:~:text=Although%20a%20Deed%20of%20Variation,for%20entering%20into%20the%20deed

As people often want to use a DoV to skip a generation to avoid IHT once the original beneficiary dies the 2 year rule is usually relevant. But you can still do a DoV later than 2 years. Your question to a solicitor needs to be if you divert part of your Dad's estate now does it protect it from divorce. And is it necessary to do that to protect it form divorce.

There’s a lot of great advice offered here. Thank you so very very much.