Request to add mothers surname to birth certificates

[PeppyStork]

Hi, can anyone help...I made the error of giving both kids the dads surname and was at the time un aware of the choices I had. Now I am trying to find a way to officially have the birth certificates re registered with my surname added. I am so sad to be the mother of two children and neither of them carry my name. I was made to believe at the time that if I did not give them the dads surname that he would have no parental responsibilities, there was no discussion or information of possibly adding both our names. I am aware that deed polls do not change the original birth certificates. I want both kids to have my name aswell as their dads...I see it's possible to add a fathers name at a later date...but not the mothers...please can anyone help me find a way to achieve this. Thank you

"You would need a letter of consent from the other parent, although I don't know anyone who's ever been asked to show one."

Our first DD spent one summer when she was young living abroad with my PIL (her paternal grandparents).

When she returned home, my DMIL (DD's paternal grandmother) accompanied her. We had provided a letter that basically said "To whom it may concern, we give permission for our DD to travel with DMIL between XX Country and the UK". We also gave a telephone number.

While we were waiting in Heathrow I got a call from the Immigration people at Heathrow wanting to check if I was expecting my young DD to arrive and asking where we were. I replied that we were waiting in arrivals for them (OK, that bit wasn't actually true - we had been delayed and were only just getting to a carpark at that time).

UK immigration are a lot more strict on this in terms of letting people in than they are about letting people leave the country.

I was told by the registrar that was completing the birth certificate that if I chose not to add the fathers surname he would not have any parental responsibility...I was not aware we could have both names...I made the decision from lack of correct information...the fathers agrees that my surname should also be added...we do not want any chages to the names already on the birth certificates...only the addition of my surname...I want both my children to carry both surnames...deed polls do not alter the birth certificates...I want the birth certificates to have my name added...I was given the wrong information at a time when I was exhausted and did not question what I was being told...if I had been made aware of all the full information my choices would have been different...why are their other mothers with similar stories of being mislead....it's not correct that mothers that are clearly on the birth cenotaph allowed to request their name added when a fathers surname can be added at a later date....the balance is unjust...if I had the correct information my decision would have been different...I would have had both surnames added...and now I am searching for a way to achieve this....legally this registrar mislead me with the information he gave and now years later I am discovering that my options could have been different 😞

Are you sure you didn't mis-hear/misunderstand? Entirely possible with exhaustion. What they should/would have meant is that his name had to be in the "father" box to have PR. Not that the child has to have his name.

Another2Cats...yes immigration is one of my concerns as I have plans to travel with both children, I am aware I need a consent letter with the details along with birth certificates and passports...I worry for possible problems that may occur...my main interest is to have my surname added...the other details are situations I will still need to consider as would be travelling as a lone parent, the father is happy to give permission to travel...but there are sometimes unexpected problems...if paperwork gets damaged, lost or stolen 😞

😞it's so bad that they give this wrong information

It's possible yes...I was exhausted and what I was informed that if I did not have the fathers surname he would not have any parental responsibility....this is what I heard...there was no discussion to suggest both surnames...there was no prompt to consider how I would feel not having my name added...only that if I chose my surname then the dad was not considered legally important ...I thought I was doing the right thing at the time

I can see why you're upset. You can actually give your child any surname you choose when you register the birth. It doesn't have to be the name/s of either or both parents.
I think your only option is to change your children's surname by deed poll to include both names. Unless you can prove you were given the wrong information, you won't be able to re-register their births, as far as I'm aware.

OP; a father can be added to a birth certificate as the father of the child.

But a child’s name in a birth certificate cannot be changed (after a child is a year old) whether it is to add the father’s or mother’s name.

A father does not have parental responsibility if his name is not on the BC as father, but it is irrelevant what name the child has.

Is it possible that you are mixed up about the two issues: whether a father has his name in the birth certificate as father, and whether the child has the father’s name on the BC?

I completely understand why you are so upset about this.

You can add a father's name to a BC later, if the initial BC doesn't list a father or is incorrect. The fathers name must be there for the father to have PR. This is what you were told, most likely.

This is entirely separate to the names you give your children, which can be anything you like and could be totally made up.

It's a shame you misunderstood at the time but you're going to get yourself into more confusion as it seems you're still not aware these issues are totally separate. Surnames don't need to match etc.

What you now want to do I think is change the legal names of your children. You likely need to do this by deed poll, but you can try contacting your registrar office and explain the situation and see if they'd do a correction. https://www.gov.uk/correct-birth-registration

Travelling isn't at all harder if you have a different name from your kids. Any parent travelling alone may be asked for the BC / to prove anyone else with parental responsibility is ok with travel. You technically need this paperwork regardless of if you have the same name as kids etc. it's not a lot of paperwork, copy of BC + letter from dad + if you change name the deed poll copy

You could try applying for a correction.

https://www.gov.uk/correct-birth-registration/how-to-apply

😞😞😞😞😞how could I prove i was given misleading information....would this be able to be shown as an error and enable me to have the name added...I would like to see a change to the law for this...I have seen many similar stories now of other mom's given information that was misleading and in retrospect now regret not having all the details to decide to have their name added

I am also sorry you are upset about this but the fact is you cannot have the birth certificate reissued with a different name of the child. This includes changing the childs name to include the fathers surname though you can have thr father added
https://www.gov.uk/correct-birth-registration

Even if you got a correction the original information would be shown and just an amendment added.

I am sorry you were given incorrect information at the team but there is no way to achieve what you want. Change the name via deed poll and you will be able to travel with passports with the correct name.

Forget about changing their names on the birth certificate, that ship has sailed.

If you and dad are both in agreement then just do a deed poll change for each child. Looks like it is £50 each
https://www.gov.uk/change-name-deed-poll/change-a-childs-name

I really wouldn't worry about the birth certificate and passport for travel.
If they have a birth certificate in the name of Jack Smith, child of John Smith and Sarah Jones, and a passport in the name of Jack Smith Jones, it's still going to be pretty obvious it's the same kid.

I know that some countries do not have recognition for any names other than the original birth certificates...so by changing names with deed poll can create further problems when proving identity and I do not want complexity caused by this. I am just a mom that regrets not questioning the authoritive figure giving me the information. Time travel machine or a change in the law is the choices I appear to have.😔

Are you proposing to add your surname as an additional middle name? That's what I have and I think what my nieces have too. It's a pretty straightforward deed poll change and shouldn't cause too many issues

What countries are you thinking of?
Your child will be travelling on a passport with their official name on so what is your concern?

There doesn't need to be a law change, it just sounds like a miscommunication between you and the registrar - they meant that the father's name needs to be on the birth certificate, you took it that the child must be given the father's surname.

I have plans to travel with my children and when they both older i want to move to a different country...I have spent time researching and by changing the names via deed poll could create more problems for citizenship if they choose to move with me....the decision to have my surname added via deed poll could create problems, the only method that would not cause problems is if the surname was officially added to their birth certificates....which is not possible...the information in this thread is repeating what I already know...what I was hoping to find is new Information for a legal loop hole or news about a change planned for the legality of this....I am not the only mom that has had this or similar situation...I want to know if anyone has successfully over ridden this law via court or some kind of possibility to achieve this....
I see the repeat of Information...I appreciate all the comments but I know all these details about legalities...I'm sorry I started this thread...I see somethings just can not be achieved 😢

You don't need to pay for a deed poll.

They don't :/
If your registrar told you that they were actively lying. There is no way a registrar could be misinformed about that - it was a flat out lie.

The registrar's name will be on the birth certificate, you can submit a complaint and they will investigate. It won't change anything though, it's not lawful to change a birth certificate after 12 months just because you changed your mind about the name. This is all on you and not them.

Depends if you want an enrolled or unenrolled one, and to be honest I don't know which is best for applying for a child's passport.

If it's that important for you to have the same name, and you can't change their BC's, then why don't you change your surname to theirs?

No, you can't change the law. A birth certificate is a legal document, you chose their names and that's that. Even if you change them legally their birth certificate is not changeable.

OP you are making this situation a lot more complicated than it needs to be.

We haven't applied for passports, but my DC have both applied for, and received, provisional driving licenses with unenrolled ones.
We've not yet found anywhere that won't accept them.