Request to add mothers surname to birth certificates

[PeppyStork]

Hi, can anyone help...I made the error of giving both kids the dads surname and was at the time un aware of the choices I had. Now I am trying to find a way to officially have the birth certificates re registered with my surname added. I am so sad to be the mother of two children and neither of them carry my name. I was made to believe at the time that if I did not give them the dads surname that he would have no parental responsibilities, there was no discussion or information of possibly adding both our names. I am aware that deed polls do not change the original birth certificates. I want both kids to have my name aswell as their dads...I see it's possible to add a fathers name at a later date...but not the mothers...please can anyone help me find a way to achieve this. Thank you

Is the father on the birth certificate?.in other words does he have parental responsibility? If so, you'll need his permission to change their names.

Yes the fathers is on birth certificates and agrees my name should be added

I don't think there is a way to change a BC for this. My own DC changed their names by deed poll when they were old enough. (Couldn't do it before as dad wouldn't agree)

I have investigated deed polls and although this is an option it can create complications when travelling...deed polls do not alter birth certificates and some countries do not agree with any names other than official birth certificate 😞

You can't change a birth certificate after 12 months. Who told you that crock of shit about parental responsibility and surnames!?

Well this isn't true, because if you change a name by deed poll you can get a passport in the new name and that's the only document you need to travel. Who tells you this stuff?

But a deed poll will allow them to have passports in their "new" name, and that's all other countries want isn't it? Otherwise married women who change their name couldn't travel.

The birth certificate registration officer told me this....if had been aware of the full information I would have chosen differently

TBF, I gave my DC their dads name as we were told that of they didn't have his name he'd have to adopt them when we got married. Utter bullshit, but multiple people said that so I believed it.

Yes.. I suspect many mothers have been given in correct information when choosing the names ...
And passports with deed poll name changes require to have the birth certificates if travelling as one parent...some countries do not except a passport with a different name to the birth certificates...this can cause problems if need to confirm identity

I was made to believe at the time that if I did not give them the dads surname that he would have no parental responsibilities, there was no discussion or information of possibly adding both our names.

These children were born after the internet was invented, right?

So not in the 1850s.

And you genuinely believed this? More than once?!

You are meant to have chosen the name before you go to the registrar. It’s utterly bizarre that you’ve apparently “tripped” into this scenario.

The registrar told you that the father only has PR if the child has his surname? Are you sure?

ShhhhhItsASurprise...helpful response...you are correct to question why would this happen...twice? ...the second time why would I question it? The first time I was given the wrong information....only now after the time as passed that i have realised that I was mis informed...now I'm older I have time to sit with these thoughts and regret nor knowing I had other choices

No, the passport confirms identity. The birth certificate confirms your relationship to the child. If you carry a copy of the birth certificate and the deed poll that will be sufficient. It's only the UK that ever asks for proof of relationship anyway - because if your child is British the uk is the country concerned with whether you're legally taking them out of the country or bringing them in.

You wouldn't need their BC if they have your name. If anything you're more likely to need it if they have different names to you. You would need a letter of consent from the other parent, although I don't know anyone who's ever been asked to show one.

Yes...I was told if I did not give the fathers surname he would not have any parental responsibility

Do you just accept every implausible thing that people tell you? Did you not question such a ridiculous statement? Did the registrar not confirm that being on the birth certificate confers parental responsibility onto the father, as they are supposed to do? And you didn't see any contradiction?

I suggest you make a complaint about that registrar because they were flat out lying.

This is one of the additional problems I have found out....without my name then I may have problems with future travelling, I would need the birth certificates, the passports and every journey a detailed description of dates and locations signed and agreed from the dad....if anything happened to any of this paperwork there could be difficulties proving identities

Your name, his name, is irrelevant to the question of travelling solo with your kids. The point is that border force may need to confirm a) your relationship to the children (easier if you share a surname) and b) that you have consent from the other parent to travel (surname is irrelevant)

They do ask a) pretty regularly, but as I said a copy of the BC and DP will do fine. They almost never ask the second one but it is irrelevant whose surname they have.

You might be asked for the letter even if they have your name. Travelling as a lone parent is what triggers that. Like I said, I don't know anyone who's ever been asked for one. And i know families with all combinations of names.

And why would you need a detailed description of dates and locations?
Surely
I, DCs father, give permission for their mother <name> to take them to France from 2.6.25-12.6.25

Is all they need?

"I was made to believe at the time that if I did not give them the dads surname that he would have no parental responsibilities"

This is very confusing indeed. May I ask who told you this? Was it somebody in some sort of official position or was it just a friend of yours? Unfortunately, this is not true.

"Now I am trying to find a way to officially have the birth certificates re registered with my surname added."

Again, this is quite confusing. Do you not appear as the mother on the birth certificate?

Or are you saying that you want the names of the children altering?

There is a process when there has been an obvious error (eg spelling mistake):

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/6788c91c3f1182a1e258a2fa/A._I+-+How_to_apply_for_a_correction_to_a_birth_registration_v1.2+1.pdf

But, even then, the original information will always be shown as it was first given at the time of the registration, but a note will be written in the margin of the register explaining what the correct information should be and the date on which the correction was made. All certificates issued afterwards will include this note.

As I understand things, wanting to add the mother's surname would not come under this. You would need to do deed poll.

"I see it's possible to add a fathers name at a later date...but not the mothers"

The reason for this is that a mother can register the birth of a child without naming a father. Indeed, if you are at all into studying your family history, then this was very common even up until the 1940s and 1950s that if an unmarried woman gave birth to a child then the name of the father would not be recorded on the birth certificate (even if she might wish it to be).

The whole thing about adding a father's name at a later date doesn't change the name of the child in any way (that still has to be done through a deed poll) but it simply adds the name of the father to the birth certificate so that the child might know who their father was. The original information is still there with a note in the margin

no at the time I did not think to question what I was being told...why would I? An experienced and quality peer was giving the information...I had no reason to consider the information was in correct or misleading...now I question everything...now I have learnt that the world is full of BS, especially anyone that has an ounce of power within legalities...

I still want them to have my surname added and officially re registered birth certificates...my regret on this remains regardless of travel paperwork necessity 😞