Distraught by Family Court decision

[TheUnderTaker97]

Hi!

Just looking for opinions and hopefully some advice on what I (27F) could do about my situation. I feel like the Court has effectively prevented me from doing anything with my life for the foreseeable, because as I describe below, my opportunities in life are limited because of my eyesight and where I live, supported by UC.

To cut a long story short, I recently lost at Court after I had a specific order against me by my child's father as I had planned to move myself and my child (7 y/o) to another local area, to be with my partner (of 2 years) and start a new life as a family, in his house with his child (also 7). Unfortunately this meant that my child would have to move schools. The new school and area which we would be moving to is a 25 minute drive from where my ex lives and I had planned on taking train journeys with my child to drop them off with him, but it would require him occasionally taking her to school, and our time would be evenly shared.

For context: I was born with ocular albinism: Nystagmus, which means I cannot/will never be able to drive. This massively limits me in the current village I live in and I don't have any reasonable way of taking my child to school other than walking. Without support I have no choice but to live in this particular village. I also receive no financial support for this, because it isn't strictly a disability, despite the obvious impact on my life.

There is a bus service which runs between my nearest city (an hour away) and my local town. But there are no real jobs or facilities here. I have been pursuing a career in the Funeral Industry and if the courts had given me an order allowing my child to change school, our lives would have changed for the better. The new local area in which I had planned to move to has far superior public transport links including a train station, of which I would have used to do the 'drop offs' at my ex's local train station, after picking my child up from school.

I just feel really let down and restricted and it seems like nobody understands my position or what it's like living visually impaired in a village with no opportunities.

Could you apply for pip as it does affect your life, it isn't decided on the name of a condition but how it impacts your life.

I don't see how you can change the court order tbh and I don't necessarily disagree with it either, you can look to moving when your child is a bit older and capable of traveling by themselves or feel like they want to move in with dad perhaps.

Agree with this, look into PIP, but there’s nothing you can do regarding the court order. And I also don’t necessarily disagree with it either, the court considers what is best for the child, not you, and moving schools and areas away from their other parent isn’t in your child’s best interest overall so the court has done it’s job- although I appreciate that leaves you in a tough spot.

The new school and area which we would be moving to is a 25 minute drive from where my ex lives and I had planned on taking train journeys with my child to drop them off with him, but it would require him occasionally taking her to school, and our time would be evenly shared.
So their dad taking them to school from his house, or driving tk yours and taking them?
Bit unfair for your child to leave dad, home and school because you want to move in with your boyfriend, new home,school... man and 'sibling'. Would the children be same year/school?

Does the court think your child and their relationship with their father will be negatively impacted if they were to move area and school?

I might be understanding this wrong but if the new town and where your ex lives both have a train station that you would have used to facilitate contact and better job opportunities, can you not use the trains to commute from where you live now to town with better job opportunities? And use wrap around care / your ex for you child if this means longer days?

So presumably you chose to live in this area in the first place?

I get the not being able to drive, but if you don’t drive then you don’t live in an area where there is no or limited public transport

your move isn’t in your child’s best interests, it’s because you want to move in with someone else. Would you still be looking to move if there wasn’t a man in the equation?

Incidentally how long have you been split from your ex? Your child is still young s presumably hasn’t been at that school long, and presumably you both agreed on it at the time, either because you were still together or because you were still co parenting successfully.

The court isn't stopping you from moving.
The child can't. But you can.

I'd tell Dad he can be RP. You'll move, return to court for visitation that suits you as well.

I presume it’s as much to do with the change of school as anything else.

OP and her ex presumably agreed on this school when the child started, now OP wants to change their school, not because it’s a better school, but because she wants to move in with her boyfriend who lives some distance away.

It’s unlikely the courts would say no to moving just 25 minutes away, but likely that they would say no to a school move, especially when you’re considering that the child is going to have to commute to and from school to see their father, and also depending on the rating of the school.

I’m afraid I think the courts have made the correct decision. I could understand them making a decision in your favour had your circumstances suddenly changed and you lost your eyesight now, but thats not the case here. You have always had the condition and either you chose to move to where you currently live, or you chose not to move to a less rural area before having a child. As it is, you have managed to live there for at least 5 years as a parent. It’s unreasonable for you to say you’ll take your DC on a train after school to visit his father. Why can your boyfriend not move to where you live?

the new town and where your ex lives both have a train station that you would have used to facilitate contact and better job opportunities, can you not use the trains to commute from where you live now to town with better job opportunities? And use wrap around care / your ex for you child if this means longer days?
This. Why isn't your partner and his child moving? Will the dc have a room each?

Those saying OP shouldn't have chosen to live where she lived might want to consider how much harder it is to live as a non driving single parent than as a non driver in a couple - she may not have envisaged this situation.

Obviously factors to weigh on both sides. But I suspect that her predicament does disadvantage her child too.

Could your child stay with dad during term time so he can do school runs.
Child stay with you at weekends and school holidays?

You're allowed to be upset about this, but the court had to decide on what was best for the child, not for you. I am really sorry though.

It's all about you here.

Courts perspective.

Child moved out of home into a house with a strange child and a strange man you have only known him 2 years. I've only recently learnt my 2 year bf is a sodding crack head. And we have parted ways.
Moving schools which isnt easy and then further away from their parent.

Your new bf can move in with you and rent out his home simple

You can apply for PIP, and also LCWRA element of UC. If you have a low vision service/sensory impairment service they can support with this.

Some opticians specialise in low vision, or local council may have low vision service. You definitely need to apply for the financial support that you are entitled to.

I can't help with the family court stuff, it's hard when you are stuck in a rural area with poor eye sight. When your little one is older, you can look at this again. She will be able to travel independently.

I don't think you are getting very kind responses, as people don't realise how difficult it is living rurally when you have low vision.

You would probably get the low mobility component of PIP on appeal but it's only c £16 pwk so is no huge solution to your problems.

You are stuck with the status quo for now.

What about high school age?

Would Access to Work support you to travel to work?

I don’t understand why people do this.

You’ve known this man for 2 years and want to move in with him? You both have kids who deserve stability.

This is not stability.

Because you only have to see on here and other forms of social media all the
'oh hon!!! You can't let the ex keep controlling you...you deserve to be happy tooo! HAPPY MUM=HAPPY KIDS!!'
absolute bollocks. Put your kids first!