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Original poster

Used exes card mistake fraud

47 replies

Lolo2000 · 01/03/2025 09:02

I have an Uber account with 6/7 cards on them.
I was with my ex partner for years, he used to use the same Uber account.
Anyway in Jan I received my Christmas bonus at work and I was using Uber quite a bit whatever card worked I ordered on, assuming it was coming from one of my accounts (I have 2 that I don’t have online access to)
I did think at one point “I wonder if one of these cards are my exes” but the card would usually ask for the OTP especially if it hadn’t been used in some time as the payments (food orders on Uber) went through no issues I didn’t think much of it.
On Friday he told me someone had used his card and he thinks it’s me, this obviously made me think and I managed to get online access to my accounts that I didn’t have access to before and it seems I did use his card. Not on purpose, honest mistake.
I’m going to be honest, he’s reported to Santander already and I called them yesterday and told them what had happened.
I’m willing to pay him back (although he owes me money, 600 in total from 3 years back) I don’t think he will go to the police, he’s not that type but if he did what would happen?
I’m worried, never done anything like this in my life

OP posts:
Hdjdb42 · 01/03/2025 10:14

I love the update, that's great.

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 01/03/2025 10:21

Lolo2000 · 01/03/2025 09:55

He just called, I told him he said he knew I’m not that person and he knows that it was a mistake. He doesn’t want the money back he said.

Result. You get your xmas bonus and free uber !

You kid didn't get any child maintenance though did they.🙄

Original poster
Lolo2000 · 01/03/2025 10:24

@richardosmanstrousers i have 2 savings accounts that the cards were also loaded onto Uber, I don’t have online access to them just paper statements and I wasn’t sure which card was what. Like I said I just flick through and use whatever card goes through.

OP posts:
AnSolas · 01/03/2025 10:25

My point was that in Jan you had (salary + whatever + bonus).

As you spend you should be trying/ keeping track of the running total so that you dont overspend and zero out your accounts
You are now at ( zero - Uber) so negitive balance.
And the extra spend comes from Feb/Mar income.

You have spent the bonus element on something else which indicates you are not keeping track overall or checking the balances and transactions going through them.
You could end in your exs position of someone charging to these accounts.

Original poster
Lolo2000 · 01/03/2025 10:27

@Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou yes I got it this week and he said he isn’t going to take money off me, he knows I’m not that person and it was a mistake he knows what cards I have on my Uber account he’s seen them so he knows I didn’t set out to “defraud him”

OP posts:
AquaPeer · 01/03/2025 10:30

I’m amazed he’s being so reasonable but then presume he didn’t know you were prepared go in saying he owed you money even though it turned out he broke your watch (which isn’t the same as owing money) AND go in with a story that you would have to go without child main’s to repay him - even though, ultimately, you got to keep the bonus that was going to pay for the Ubers you ordered 😂

I mean good for him but you were really ready to go in with manipulation in response to him wanting it back

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 01/03/2025 10:31

Lolo2000 · 01/03/2025 10:27

@Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou yes I got it this week and he said he isn’t going to take money off me, he knows I’m not that person and it was a mistake he knows what cards I have on my Uber account he’s seen them so he knows I didn’t set out to “defraud him”

Yes,, just surprised you spent /£6oo on \Uber on a month your kid didn't get any child maintenance, thats all.

Original poster
Lolo2000 · 01/03/2025 10:35

@Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou i didn’t spend 600 on Ubers I spent £75 came to total of £150. My DC got his child maintenance this week he isn’t going to take money off me as like I keep saying he knows I’m not that person I offered the money back and he said he doesn’t want it he knows it was a mistake and that’s it and told me to calm down as it was a honest mistake.
my watch came to a total of 600

OP posts:
Original poster
Lolo2000 · 01/03/2025 10:37

@AquaPeer I didnt say anything about the watch, I was very apologetic and told him I’d pay it back. He said he knows me and he knows I wouldn’t do that he trusted me with a lot of finiacial information when we were together and even after to a certain point and I never done anything dodgy. This honestly was a mistake

OP posts:
AuntAgathaGregson · 01/03/2025 10:51

Mrsttcno1 · 01/03/2025 09:41

It’s theft OP. Everything else is completely irrelevant.

Not unless there was an intention to deprive the ex permanently, and OP is clear there was not.

Boysnme · 01/03/2025 11:32

Sounds like it has all worked out and been resolved.

Please just try and put it behind you and move on from it, especially as your ex has said he knows it was a mistake and doesn’t want the money back (probably knows he’s getting a good deal if you are not chasing for the £600 he owes you!).

richardosmanstrousers · 01/03/2025 12:17

Lolo2000 · 01/03/2025 10:24

@richardosmanstrousers i have 2 savings accounts that the cards were also loaded onto Uber, I don’t have online access to them just paper statements and I wasn’t sure which card was what. Like I said I just flick through and use whatever card goes through.

Interesting. Which savings accounts offer debits cards? I'm always transferring money back and forward between because they don't come with a debit card.

johnd2 · 01/03/2025 12:48

This is supposed to be the legal matters forum not the pile on/aibu forum! It's not fraud or theft it's a civil matter and should he take it to court it would cost 20 quid or so and they would order the repayment.
However the same applies to the broken watch.

Original poster
Lolo2000 · 01/03/2025 12:55

@richardosmanstrousers tsb spend and save account, visa debit card

OP posts:
richardosmanstrousers · 01/03/2025 13:00

Lolo2000 · 01/03/2025 12:55

@richardosmanstrousers tsb spend and save account, visa debit card

Ah that's a current account, no idea why you can't have that in your online banking, i would have a word with the bank and they should sort it out for you.

honeylulu · 01/03/2025 13:03

It's good that he's been reasonable/ understanding and even better that you don't have to pay him back, an extra bonus for you.

I'm not sure if he'd agreed he owed you 600 for the watch or not but if so you need to knock of the total he "paid" for your uber journeys.

You seem to have a shockingly careless attitude to money though. 150 splurged on ubers, some of which you would have had to pay off in monthly instalments, had your ex not generously written it off! I know you had a bonus but you seem to have not kept track of how much you had spent. Though as he's just been done for benefits fraud maybe you are two of a kind.

Riapia · 01/03/2025 13:20

Your ex sounds to be a lot more understanding than some people on MN.

Original poster
Lolo2000 · 01/03/2025 13:20

@honeylulu yes he agreed to paying for my watch, he just didn't do so he broke it deliberately. 150 on Ubers this was the breakdown
63.00 to collect my son from my sister's the other side of London when he was very ill
4 x 15.50 to hospital appointments for my parents and 2 Uber eat deliverys I would hardly call this a splurge!
This was the first month in a very long time that I had not kept an eye on what I spent and as mentioned I used to deal with my ex's finances alot and had access never once did I do anything dodgy! So please do not assume I'm the same as him. I've owned up and taken responsibility I'm starting to regret this post.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lolo2000 · 01/03/2025 13:22

@Riapia thank god he is, he knows me and he knows I'm not that person. I'm not a thief or a fraudster I made a honest mistake

OP posts:
honeylulu · 01/03/2025 13:25

Lolo2000 · 01/03/2025 13:20

@honeylulu yes he agreed to paying for my watch, he just didn't do so he broke it deliberately. 150 on Ubers this was the breakdown
63.00 to collect my son from my sister's the other side of London when he was very ill
4 x 15.50 to hospital appointments for my parents and 2 Uber eat deliverys I would hardly call this a splurge!
This was the first month in a very long time that I had not kept an eye on what I spent and as mentioned I used to deal with my ex's finances alot and had access never once did I do anything dodgy! So please do not assume I'm the same as him. I've owned up and taken responsibility I'm starting to regret this post.

Sorry Lolo, I apologise. Those are hardly splurges. I shouldn't have judged knowing I didn't have the context. My comment was nasty.

Treesinthewind · 01/03/2025 15:14

It sounds like your anxiety might have come from your ex's behaviour? You're said be broke your watch during an argument. It would be entirely normal for you to feel anxious about he may react, especially if he's unpredictable. Remember you're safe now x

nevernotmaybe · 26/08/2025 22:17

healthybychristmas · 01/03/2025 09:26

I would apologise for the mistake but I wouldn't pay him back if he owes you £600. I'd tell him he now owes you £600 minus that amount.

Then it becomes a crime. Terrible advice.

His debt is a civil dispute, to be settled between them through talking and a court claim if necessary. Her taking the money is theft if she doesn't pay it back.

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