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Do I have a case for emotional abuse?

5 replies

Xcbx2 · 16/02/2025 10:12

So in a nutshell I met my partner in 2021, moved in with him in 2022, got pregnant in 2023 and had our gorgeous baby boy in Feb 2024.
My partner had got diagnosed with cancer in 2022 and had since undergone two rounds of chemotherapy and two operations. He's self employed so the responsibility of providing for our family has always fallen almost entirely on me.
Then recently he got admitted into hospital after collapsing with an internal bleed. He spent a month in ICU and was on a ventilator in a coma for much of this time.
I had originally been told by his mum, who had been the first at the hospital, that he'd collapsed at work but I have now found out that actually he was with his "other" family. He has actually been seeing someone else for 5 years, therefore pre dating me, they live together with their dog and her 3 children from a previous relationship.
So how had he managed to keep both of us going without suspicion? The cancer was entirely faked, a ruse he kept up with both of us. He would tell her he didn't feel comfortable exposing her children to the reality of his condition so used it as the reason why he almost stopped living there as soon as I was on the scene. For me his various appointments allowed him to spend daytimes with her (shes WFH).
I'm angry and upset by his deceit but more than anything I'm disturbed by the mental state of this man and the lies he's felt so comfortable making. He's faked letters, he's faked prescription stickers, everything.
Is this a good enough case to take him to court for emotional abuse do you think?
I really don't want my son to be raised around that kind of man.

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 16/02/2025 10:21

You can’t “take somebody to court” for lying. If a crime has been committed, you can report it to the police and they can decide whether to arrest and charge. It’s very unlikely that this would meet the threshold for domestic abuse. He’s a liar, and a cheat, but neither of these things are illegal in the UK.

Focus on separating, making a claim for child maintenance, and co-parenting your child. There’s no basis here for preventing your child having a relationship with his dad, so whilst you’d be justified in requesting that initial contact be supervised, little, and often and there are things to be negotiated, as your son is still very young, you need to centre your son and his needs here, not your anger or desire for revenge.

CaptainFuture · 16/02/2025 10:23

How was he funding both lives?!

researchers3 · 16/02/2025 10:26

Xcbx2 · 16/02/2025 10:12

So in a nutshell I met my partner in 2021, moved in with him in 2022, got pregnant in 2023 and had our gorgeous baby boy in Feb 2024.
My partner had got diagnosed with cancer in 2022 and had since undergone two rounds of chemotherapy and two operations. He's self employed so the responsibility of providing for our family has always fallen almost entirely on me.
Then recently he got admitted into hospital after collapsing with an internal bleed. He spent a month in ICU and was on a ventilator in a coma for much of this time.
I had originally been told by his mum, who had been the first at the hospital, that he'd collapsed at work but I have now found out that actually he was with his "other" family. He has actually been seeing someone else for 5 years, therefore pre dating me, they live together with their dog and her 3 children from a previous relationship.
So how had he managed to keep both of us going without suspicion? The cancer was entirely faked, a ruse he kept up with both of us. He would tell her he didn't feel comfortable exposing her children to the reality of his condition so used it as the reason why he almost stopped living there as soon as I was on the scene. For me his various appointments allowed him to spend daytimes with her (shes WFH).
I'm angry and upset by his deceit but more than anything I'm disturbed by the mental state of this man and the lies he's felt so comfortable making. He's faked letters, he's faked prescription stickers, everything.
Is this a good enough case to take him to court for emotional abuse do you think?
I really don't want my son to be raised around that kind of man.

This is next level betrayal op.

I would speak to the domestic abuse division of the police.

I disagree with the PP.

And anyone capable of that level of deception, I'd want my child to have as little contact as possible.

Xcbx2 · 16/02/2025 10:29

CaptainFuture · 16/02/2025 10:23

How was he funding both lives?!

He wasn't. When they met she was going through a divorce with her ex husband and father of her children so I believe that's how he managed keeping financially separated from her, so as not to muddy the water with his contributions.
With me he has never given me more than £50 per month towards the running of the household and our son, he has always blamed this on having appointments, client cancellations etc.

OP posts:
BobbyBiscuits · 16/02/2025 10:30

You can tell the police, yes. I don't think you can sue him, but I could be wrong.
I guess it could be classed as fraud. Look at that show, Apple Cider Vinegar. That's someone lying about cancer too.
He sounds utterly morally bankrupt and deserves whatever punishment is coming his way, that's for sure.

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