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Dangerous & Abusive ex - what can be done??

6 replies

Netmumnet · 08/02/2025 11:01

Hi, sorry this is a weird one.

I was in an abusive relationship for about 2 years in my early twenties, he'd isolated me from my friends and family, had been cheating on me the whole time with multiple people, knowingly given me an STD and passed to others without being treated, made me do all his uni essays, an abortion, it went a bit physically abusive (never bad enough to report) he'd also borrowed thousands of pounds from me and when he had inherited some money and could pay me back, he only agreed to do it in installments, a trick to keep me in his life and stop me from blocking him and moving on. He would threaten to kill himself if I stopped talking to him and it just such a traumatic time, really messed me up as a person but that was 8 years ago now and it's my past life. Doesn't feel like it was even me.

He's a lazy slob who finds vulnerable girls online and starts relationships with them. In 2021 a girl in Europe messaged me and she'd basically been through similar. She put out a big Facebook post exposing him with screenshots of his behaviour and also saying he had a folded of explicit content from 16 year olds. She also said that sexually he took it too far and would hurt her, which isn't what she consented to.

Flash forward to last week and a poor girl has messaged me from North America saying that he choked her till she blacked out and still continued and then also had sex anally without consent. She has messaged me really traumatised and has asked me for more information about him as of course he has painted me as a crazy ex. She has even sent me screenshots of him saying that I sexually abused him??

In 2013 when I first met him he was just mainly targeting girls in the UK. He'd have girlfriends scattered around the country. Now the pattern is that he's finding girls from different countries and somehow convincing them to fly over to him, and I can't believe this pattern is still on going years later! Both girls said that he initiated more sexual conversations online just as they turned 18, but were "FB friends" and chatting before then. He had(has?) a popular meme page that people looked up to and followed

Is there anything I can do to report this basically and for someone to take it seriously? I only know of the two girls who reached out to me, but the first one said that 11 people contacted her as a result of her FB post with similar stories.

It's disgusting what he's doing and it breaks my heart that it's still happening to other people. I've never known for him to have a job, just leaches money off girls, but the latest person has said he's a civil servant. Would this be at all helpful to get justice for his victims?

Sorry that was so long

OP posts:
username299 · 08/02/2025 15:06

How are these women getting your contact details?

He sounds like a prolific predator and I would encourage the women to report him to the police and contact a domestic abuse organisation.

Bestthriller · 08/02/2025 15:08

Please say that children aren’t involved In this “relationship”

Bestthriller · 08/02/2025 15:08

You say “weird”

I say bloody sinister and disturbing

Bestthriller · 08/02/2025 15:09

Oh. Shit. You do have very young children

Netmumnet · 08/02/2025 18:18

username299 · 08/02/2025 15:06

How are these women getting your contact details?

He sounds like a prolific predator and I would encourage the women to report him to the police and contact a domestic abuse organisation.

I honestly have no idea, I have now fully clamped down my socials and removed my first and last name.

I have him blocked on everything and removed any pictures associated with him over 8 years ago.

OP posts:
Netmumnet · 08/02/2025 18:21

Bestthriller · 08/02/2025 15:08

Please say that children aren’t involved In this “relationship”

No children! I had an abortion which is the best decision I've ever made.

I do have one now completely unrelated to him.

I personally haven't had contact with him for 8 years, but now this person has messaged me I thought this would be a good place to go for advice.

OP posts:
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