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Legal matters

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Finances during divorce

7 replies

malazzie · 07/02/2025 06:31

I left my abusive husband beginning of November. We have a house together which I live in with our two kids. I work part time and he was the main breadwinner. We have two cars and we have kept one each. One has finance left on it. Since he left he's paid half of the mortgage, half of a loan we have, maintenance and he's paid his own credit card and I've paid mine. He is a builder and we started a company together in 2020 which has done fairly well. Our house has building work to be done and he is refusing to do it even if I offer to pay for materials. He keeps coming in the house when I'm not there and slowly taking stuff like art work for example. He has kept a key. I have to block him because I get abusive messages if I don't. One day I got so many and I was at home with our poorly son and he didn't even ask how he was. I'd taken the day off work to look after him. I had to unblock him again yesterday because he had been in the house and moved my stuff. I then had a load of messages from him saying that I have to pay half his credit card bill and half the van finance. Do I have to do this? I still get bank statements for the business and he has been so irresponsible with his spending. He is also renting a massive house in a very rich area. I have uped my hours at work and got a little part time weekend work at the local pub too. I've worked hard to pay off my credit card and don't ask him for half of mine. I was trying to avoid wasting money on solicitors but I think I will have to get one now. He's doing this because he's lost control. Because he thought I would be lost without him and I'm actually doing okay. It just upsets me that he wants to destroy me

OP posts:
Collaborate · 07/02/2025 07:18

Your situation is too complex for off the cuff advice on a message board. You really need to see a solicitor.

RainbowLife · 07/02/2025 07:22

It's so hard to understand and remember that he is not your friend and you need some powerful help to protect yourself.
Have you been in touch with any domestic abuse organisations?

Please get a good solicitor if you can.

Winter2020 · 07/02/2025 07:26

It sounds like the quicker you can get divorced with a financial separation the better - before too much money is burned through or your credit ratings are damaged by bills going unpaid as you argue over who pays what. Yes you need a solicitor asap.

StormingNorman · 07/02/2025 07:34

I can’t help with legal advice, but I know he’s not going to play nicely and you are going to need a lawyer.

if any of the art he’s taking is worth money, you need to keep a record of what’s gone missing and make sure you hide the receipts.

Needanadultgapyear · 07/02/2025 08:21

I am not going to give you legal advice , but best friend advice. You left him as he was not a reasonable or nice person, stop expecting him to be reasonable and nice. Put your big girl pants on get a solicitor and get what is fair and right for you and your children.
Then move on and get your best revenge by having a good life. I say this as someone who had to do this.

malazzie · 07/02/2025 18:55

Thanks guys you are right. I think I didn't see what he was like because I was just in survival mode all the time. Now I'm like oh my god he was always this horrible!

OP posts:
StormingNorman · 07/02/2025 20:09

Photograph anything of value in your house (e.g. contents of your jewellery box, art on the walls, antiques, ornaments, rugs etc.

Anything he is removing from your home is depriving the marital estate of assets that should be split. I wouldn’t trust him to deny they existed in the first place.

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