My house - but is it now half his?

[ThistimeIneedtostop]

Bought a house, by myself, 15 years ago. Met (now) DH in 2018. He moved in, we had two kids - and married 2022. Things OK but not great. And I am starting to worry that I have left myself in a financially crappy position should things go wrong. Does anyone know what happens in these scenarios if we were to spilt? Appreciate I need proper advice too. (I work P/T and do most of childcare)

The house will be considered a marriage asset as you have been living in it as the family home for some time. It would be split in the event of a divorce but not necessarily 50/50.

Bought as in with mortgage, or outright?

Has he paid towards the mortgage and any house improvements?

Yep the starting point in divorce is 50:50

you may be able to argue a bigger share if your kids are still young, but more than likely you will need to buy him out.

definitely get legal advice.

You've only been married for two years and you will need the home for the children. Shame on him if he thinks he's entitled to it. I would definitely speak to a lawyer asap.

In the circumstances you describe - relatively short marriage, you owned it prior to marriage, you are the majority carer - I wouldn't expect him to get half, probably. But a share, yes. Correspondingly, you have some potential entitlement to his pension earned since 2018, so you could trade that off against equity in the property.

I'm a family solicitor specialising in divorce finances.
It's a 6 - 7 year relationship assuming he moved in in 2018. The family home is generally always considered to be "matrimonialised" which is a newish term invented by the family courts.
However just because the starting point is 50/50 that doesn't mean it's the end point. It sounds like your case might be what's known as a "needs" case but obviously I don't know the rest of the financial information. If he earns more, and taking into account the source of your asset it seems unlikely he'd be getting 50%. Over time his entitlement might change/increase although that in itself isn't a reason to leave. Also very unlikely that he'll get nothing. Speak to a decent financial remedies solicitor.

Would you call shame on a woman who thinks she’s entitled to a share of her husbands house?

he will also need to house himself somewhere suitable for the children to stay.

If you want to leave this marriage with the same amount of money that you entered it with you need to divorce quickly. The shorter the marriage is, the more likely you are to leave with your original assets. It's partly why it was Paul McCartney who filed for divorce against Heather as opposed to the other way round.

With mortgage - though this is now very small considering value of house. It increased in value after an extension I paid for before I met him.

Yes, some. I pay mortgage by myself, but he does transfer some money each month towards it (and other costs)

Thanks for all the advice so far. Not wanting to leave him high and dry AT ALL. But I've worked bloody hard for 25+ years to pay for this. And can't imagine having to leave. I was stupid not to seek advice pre-marriage.

Both assets and earnings will b taken into account. Go for the full value of the house OP. Get a good lawyer. You brought the house into the marriage, and you can argue that he's still earning full time etc. waive rights to his pension.

If you marry without a prenup you are pooling assets. However 2 years is classed as a short marriage so you'd probably get more than 50 percent. Any pensions are in the mix too. If he has a much higher pension than you you could try to trade off house against pension.

I think everyone's circumstances will be different but I think the court consider anything over 5 years to be a "long marriage". They don't just include the actual marriage part but the parts before too that you were in a relationship, did in my case and all of my friends that have been divorced anyway.

In my circumstance let's say my ex was more of the one in your position- had the house before marriage.

In divorce I got more than 50% of the house and assets. Because I was the lower earner. We both had equal need to house the children etc. my ex owning the house before our relationship/marriage didn't come into it at all. It's the family/marital home and you are married now.

They will look at both your current earnings and earning capacity- so will probably go off you being in full time work if you are capable of it. If you have gone part time to look after children you ime would likely get more share of the house, because if he's been working full time his earning capacity/capacity for a mortgage will be more.

They are basically trying to make it equal as possible, so you can both house the children adequately etc.

Agree with @StayAwayFromTheSugar.

Those saying this is a short marriage are probably wrong as any period of cohabitation immediately prior to marriage will be counted as part of the marriage.

The starting point for division of assets will be a 50/50 split, but that doesn't mean that's where things will end up.

You need to consult a solicitor.

please get a Deed of Trust asap to define all the detail. Much easier to do whilst you are still together. You can just say youve realised you didn’t have one and read an article about it or something. I’ve just had a horrendous couple of years in the family court with a similar situation except wasn’t married…which in theory is a different situation BUT the court (which is so random) essentially made up the rules as it went along and I nearly lost everything. Be careful as you never truly know who you’re with until a long time after youve met - especially when everyone has been round the block a bit - and you never truly know what they will do in any given situation. Mine turned out to actually be one of those financial predators you read about…get legal advice asap and get it watertight BEFORE there is a relationship breakdown.

This won't help when married. It'll help hugely if not married. The Matrimonial Causes Act is what will determine the division when married.
You could potentially enter into a post-nuptial agreement but he'll likely smell a rat and realise you might be wanting out soon so I doubt he'd agree!

Makes no difference whatsoever on divorce. It would be counted as an asset in the marital pot for division. These only come into play for unmarried couples when they split if one is trying to establish a beneficial interest.

Yes of course, so sorry, forgot that trumped that. Can't seem to delete, oh well, hopefully helpful for any umarrieds

You need to go and see a solicitor ASAP. The shorter the marriage the better if you want to retain all, or most of, your house.

And this is why people on MN shouldn’t constantly parrot that marriage ‘protects’ women…

Has he got a decent pension? If so you'll be entitled to some of that. There's scope to offset his share of the house against that.

Avoid going full time if you end up in court as that will work against you.
Avoid court (the associated costs of solicitors/barristers will be heartbreaking) if you possibly can, really try and reach a fair compromise between yourselves.

@DeepFatFried Marriage is better for a women with less assets and lower earnings. It’s always better than having nothing and cohabiting with a man who has everything: the house, good pension and assets. Not being married means he retains all of that and can just walk away. As they do.