Getting married but not changing name

[Havanawinter]

Hi all. DP and I are getting married soon. We have 2 DCs already. I don’t plan to change my surname which is causing me confusion over whether I still need to get my passport/driving licence changed over. If I will have the same surname as before, is this necessary? Also do I need to get the kids’ birth certificates re-issued? Thanks in advance!

I didn’t know that, thank goodness for mumsnet! To clarify, I love my partner hugely and am excited to marry him, but I really hate all the patriarchal connotations around marriage so I’m trying to make it feel as comfortable for me as possible. He’s wanted to get married for years and I’ve always avoided it, but recently have realised it’s the sensible option.

I feel much the same as you about marriage but find it useful financially & legally, especially having moved abroad together.

I remain Ms Assortment, as I have been since I filled in my UCAS form!

You won't be Mrs tho. You'll be Miss or Ms.

Mrs is the title that would go with your husband's surname if you changed your name. I never changed my name and didn't change my title. My husband also didn't change his surname and kept his old title (Mr)

OP can be Mrs is she chooses.

She already said she doesn't want to be and thought she HAD to be

She already said she doesn't want to be and thought she HAD to be

I think I misunderstood your comment about it being the title of she changed her name. I get that she doesn't want to, but you can keep your name and change your title, or vice versa.

Apologies for misreading

Yup, just remain Miss or Ms YourSurname. It's fine.

Although be prepared for people who, whie you were unmarried, had no problem remembering your name, suddenly addressing things to Mr and Mrs DH surname because, "Ih, it's just too complicated to remember evetyone's name"

One of the reasons not to change your name is not to have to change your documents or accounts. Why should a woman go through all that hassle just because she got married?

You don't have to change your name
You don't have to be Mrs
You don't need to change your children's details if your name hasn't changed.

There is no legal connotation to Mrs at all. She can call herself Mrs should she wish to. Whatever her surname.

But as she is trying to shed all the patriarchal stuff from the marriage contract it is likely she doesn't want to.

She already said she doesn't want to be and thought she HAD to be. She doesn't.

sorry didn't mean that to be bold!

Yes, but you said “You won't be Mrs tho. You'll be Miss or Ms.
Mrs is the title that would go with your husband's surname if you changed your name.

Which is not correct, whatever the OP’s choices.

That’s what we’re all reacting to.

Mrs, like any other title, is a title that can go either way any name.

You need to re-register but I think the 'penalty' for not is tiny and not enforced.

I’ve used Ms as an honorific since I was a teen. 53 now, married at 31. Like you, didn’t like the patriarchal connotations. Didn’t change my name, despite my husband’s name sounding much nicer. I moved to the U.K. when I was 30, it felt really unusual to use Ms and not change my name upon marriage. Never been a problem though/

Re register what? You don’t. I got married over thirty years ago ( not any more). I didn’t change my name, had it on my passport, driving licence, bank accounts etc since I got/opened them. I am almost sixty.

It's refering to any children born before the marriage.
You are meant to re-register them after getting married but it's actually fairly meaningless and I doubt anyone would care if it doesn't get done.
Nothing to do with name changes.

In Scotland you don't have to do anything with BCs.

I updated my driving licence and bank accounts to Ms but didn't do anything with my passport.

You could have a civil partnership if you want the legal protections without the patriarchal stuff

I too have been Ms Face since the 1970s.

And I got married before having children for the legal protections. (Though there was quite a party.)

Not true. If the children are both of yours and you marry after their birth, the births should be re-registered once you're married.

I’m 56 and have been a Ms x for as long as I’ve needed to be something….I really think we should all just be M x. Anyways got married 12 years ago and still Ms x.