How to stop abduction?!

[Tinycatnoise]

I recently left an abusive relationship where my ex threatened to take away our small daughter multiple times.

He wants contact. Is court the only way to prevent abduction in the future?

I know he will be given contact as I don't have any evidence of the abuse but just don't want her taken away completely! She is only 4.

Do you mean you think he might take her out of the country or just take her to live with him?

I'm mostly worried about abroad. He has a house in a country that is likely to side with the father. I have no idea where that house is. She has a passport which I have but I know he will demand the right to be able to take her abroad if we come to an agreement through mediation which I don't think I can stop.

He may well take her from me in the UK but I am guessing I could get her back by applying to court I hope! Though this could take months and he is likely to delay things by lying about me.

It is making me feel sick with worry.

You could apply for a prohibitive steps order?

Yes, prohibitive steps order to prevent him taking her out of the country. I believe it puts a marker on her passport which will flag at the border.

Can he get another passport from his home country?

He cannot legally take your child out of the country without your consent. If he did that would be a criminal offence. A Prohibited Steps Order may make him aware of that, but it doesn't really add anything to it. Contrary to what another poster thinks, it does not put a marker on the passport. However, if you have evidence that he is about to abduct your child you can get a passport order, which will mean her name will be on the child abduction warning list for 28 days and a message will be sent to all UK ports and airports instructing the police to try and locate your child.

You do not have to give in to any demand he makes re the right to take her abroad.

If you think he is actually about to abduct your child, you should alert the police and see a solicitor.

If he takes her to a country that is signed up to the Hague Convention, it should be possible to get her back.

Thank you to all for your responses.

My problem is the lack of evidence for a prohibited steps order. He has made these threats in person without witnesses. Also, I know it can only be for 28 days and I don't know when in the time he will have our daughter that he will take try to abduct her. It might just expire before he has done anything.

Just to ask, would it only be a criminal offence for him to remove her from me and take her abroad if I mentioned in court that I was worried about abduction and we get a specific court order? Otherwise, he has parental responsibility and can just take her abroad without letting me know according to the police.

He can't take her abroad without her passport, so if you have her passport and don't give it to him then he can't take her abroad.

It is a good question somebody asked about whether he can legally get her another passport without your consent.

How much do you think he is serious, and how much do you think he is saying the thing he knows will upset you most? How much did he voluntarily look after her when you were together?

When I split up with my ex, he said all sorts like you can't take my son/I'll fight you for custody etc. He didn't. When we first split up I asked him to give us space for 2 weeks, then I would contact him about contact with DC (which I did). Then I let him suggest something, I didn't want to do overnights at first since DC was only little. He was supposed to be seeing DC for around 4-5 hours on a Saturday or Sunday - very quickly this dwindled to every other week, then about one week in every 3-4.

He still has parental responsibility but hasn't seen his son in 14 years. He has never carried out any threat - I kept "grey rock"ing him and he got bored and moved onto his next victim.

If you think your ex really might try to take her, then it makes sense to prevent that. But another option is to be very boring and he may well get bored.

@BertieBotts

Thank you for your reply. You are right, I do have the passport. I guess in mediation I would have to say he can't take her abroad which means I wouldn't be allowed to either which is a small price to pay. If it goes to court then I would hope that if I am asked to relinquish the passport if he is allowed to take her abroad, then he will be committing a criminal offence by not returning her (though small consolation if I can't get her back 😕)

I will look into whether he can get her another passport. I hope not as she is British born. I'm not sure if he can obtain a copy of her one by saying it is lost - I wouldn't know he had done it.

I wish my ex would get bored. I would be hoping he would find someone else but wouldn't wish that on anyone! He has fixed views from his home country about men having the rights over their kids which he has said over and over again. He also hates 'the West' and doesn't want his daughter brought up here. He is a truly horrible man.

would it only be a criminal offence for him to remove her from me and take her abroad if I mentioned in court that I was worried about abduction and we get a specific court order

No. It is always a criminal offence regardless of whether you have got a court order.

he has parental responsibility and can just take her abroad without letting me know according to the police

This is wrong (and the police should know better). Until she is 16, it is a criminal offence for him to take her out of the country without your consent unless he has a court order allowing him to do so - either a Specific Issue Order covering the specific trip or a Child Arrangements Order naming him as someone with whom your daughter is to live. His PR does not give him the right to take her abroad without your consent.