age discrimination

[beingagediscriminatedagainst]

Name changed for this as I don't want a link to my more used profile

I work in a profession that is very young age dominated, think new grads and young 20's and very female heavy profession currently.

Two people there keep commenting on my age, I am 55 and I have major resentment and hatred for getting older. So I am sensitive about it too, which certainly doesn't help my feelings. However I work harder then most of them and can run rings around them also with energy levels.

The two are female and one is 29, other is 27. I get called OAP, old gal, the 27 year old is a head of department and last weekend she was showing me how to do a task I don't usually do when I work my shifts and said to the other staff she was going to show the old timer how to do this task.

I am bloody furious at them both, they will both say they are joking if pulled up on it. I have 20 years working in this industry, lots of experience and can run rings around them both in terms of experience and I feel its mean and unfair.

The entire industry as a whole has no older people working in it, they go into management or quit or have children as the pay scales are woefully bad to pay for childcare. However as I work part time it suits me. I work another job as well as I get easily bored too. So I work 7 days a week, and I am happy to do so, and yes my jobs are legit and I pay tax and insurance on them both. However this job is special, I clawed my way up from knowing nothing about the industry to knowing a lot in 20 years and all I want is to do my job and not have to listen to the staff referring to me like that.

We do have a HR dept and I feel this needs to be addressed but I have already had to contact HR regarding a manager revealing my long term illness/disability to the entire staff working one day. Now to be fair HR almost had a heart attack and apologised and dealt with the matter, and the manager apologised. But in some ways it is not good enough.

But why do people seem to think they can treat people like this, I don't want to pull people up all the damn time, I am respectful to them, speak nicely and respectfully and would never think about their ages.
We are adults in a professional setting and I do not treat them like children. The first part of the saying applies to some of them, you know young and dumb ( without adding in the disgusting last bit, which I would never say or imply), but I would never treat them like that, I just acknowledge that our job is a forever learning one and if I can teach them things great, and they in turn teach me new ways to do things sometimes too. You are never done learning in our industry.

Apart from HR and the stupid saying about being older and wiser, does anyone have some hit home sayings that will nip this in the bud, before I take it to HR and the WRC and sue the hell out of the company, because trust me I am so tempted right now.

Thanks in advance for your help and reading.

In your next one to one with head of department, raise it.

"I'm sure you don't mean anything by it and it's just a joke, but I actually find it hurtful when you keep referring to my age, or calling me an OAP or an old timer and I'd really rather you didn't."

She'll be so shocked and caught off guard, she'll probably apologize or tell you it's just a joke, and you can say "well I don't find it funny and I'd appreciate it if you could stop please."

Sometimes being direct is the best way - no wise cracks, no trying to get one up, just calmly say you don't like it.

If it continues, go to HR.

How do you respond when they make jokes/comments about your age? Have you made them aware that it's upsetting you?

I'm not sure that 'hit-home sayings' are the right course of action here; it'll either be seen as you engaging in 'banter' or it'll cause bigger problems.

If you genuinely want to confront the person, stick to facts, be polite and make sure there are witnesses. If you don't want to do it face to face, send an email. CC HR/management and again, stick to facts.

• What has been said
• How it made you feel
• A proposed resolution (apology, no more comments, etc)

Age is a protected characteristic, so ultimately you can take this as far as you want. Get a copy of the company grievance procedure. Keep notes of dates/times/details of incidents.

Are you a union member? Speak to your rep if so. If not, HR or a senior manager.

You have three courses of action

Talk to the head directly. I would not lean into how they have made you feel. I would be making it crystal clear that their language is discriminatory, in the same way that using racist language would be, and that if it does not stop immediately you will be taking it to HR.

Go to HR, and make an official complaint of ageism. If that isn't handled well then you could submit a formal grievance. Have a think about what you want, maybe a formal apology, some mandatory training in discrimination,

Suck it up.

In your shoes I would go straight to HR. This involves a head of department who should know better and will absolutely be setting the tone.

This is potentially bullying. I know it’s difficult but have a direct conversation along the lines suggested by @AConcernedCitizen .

If this is not feasible then talk to HR. Yes they fucked up, but they know it so will be extra careful.

Thanks for answering everyone, I know I am super sensitive about getting older, it seems like only a few years ago I was 38 and I miss being that age so much.

I just change the subject usually as I have always been a fight or flight person in response to direct conflict. Never can manage to deal with things like this, but if it was for another member of staff I would have no issue dealing with it for them, but when it comes to me I just fret and internalise it all.

I'm useless at dealing with things for me but thanks again everyone for the support and being there xx

If they say anything like that again say 'would you like to repeat that in front of HR'