How do I get my kid out of fee-paying school?

[PunkEgg]

Hi

I've got a problem.

Child at secondary fee-paying school after acrimonious and very expensive divorce. Ex-partner doesn't work, and the court-enforced divorce settlement means I am responsible for 100% of school fees. But I can no longer afford the fees. There's no more money in the pot.

Ex-partner won't agree that he has to leave the fee-paying school, and says I have to lkeep sending him there even though I can't afford it. They won't give approval for him to be withdrawn, or for me to apply for him to attend a state school.

How do I break the impasse without spending yet more thousands on lawyers and going to court? Is it possible I'll just be throwing yet more money (which I can't afford) down the drain for a court only to decide the child needs to keep going to fee-paying school?

Child is due to start GCSES in September, and I want their schooling to be settled before then.

Interesting that children are never "ripped" out of state schools. They have to move because circumstances change.

You will see from my comment above that them being at state or private is irrelevant; it is ripping them from somewhere that they are now settled in having just endured their family home breaking up that I was mindful of. This isn’t a private v state debate. I went to state, my kids are in state. I’m just saying the ex and the court will be skeptical of a self employed party suddenly claiming reduced earning potential. They will be suspicious so I was asking OP how legit their inability to pay really is; and whether there is anything they can sacrifice to protect their child from yet more upheaval if at all possible.

@Muthaofcats ". I’m just saying the ex and the court will be skeptical of a self employed party suddenly claiming reduced earning potential."

I'm certainly with you on that. And dollars to doughnuts the OP is the father.

You haven’t included here anything about which state school he’d get in to, whether it’s any good, whether there’s space. Need to know that really for advice on withdrawing etc - is there a decent school, is there a place at that school, will the LA allocate a space at a terrible school miles away, do you need to include time for waiting lists in this scenario?

If you can't afford it you can't afford it - it's that simple really isn't it regardless of all the comments about not ripping the child from their environment at such an emotional time.

I'd start by speaking to the school and getting their advice, making it clear you can't continue paying. They may accept notice from you if the court order puts sole responsibility for the fees on you, even if your ex is also named on the fees contract. If your child is exceptional in some way they may extend a bursary/scholarship or other financial assistance.

One thing is for sure - they won't tolerate fees not being paid for long and will take your child off roll pretty quickly. They are a business and, unlike the State, have absolutely no obligation to educate your child.

I think it would be better for your child to do a planned transition into a state school from September. Alongside speaking to the current school, make an application to the local state schools for September.

“Due to start GCSEs in September” reads like the child is currently in year 9. Perfectly sensible time to change schools.

Just represent yourself in court. Set out the facts clearly. You don't need to spend on lawyers. If there's no money then there's no money