Evening to all.
Some advice and perspective would be really appreciated. My son, who has never been in any kind of trouble, had an 18 month relationship with a woman 15 years his senior. This lady has borderline personality disorder, self harm alongside drug and alcohol misuse. He was 25 at the start of the relationship, she was 40. He became withdrawn and quite frightened of her to the point where I was clear with him that if he didn’t end things, he was at risk of false allegations from her. This was written by me to him in a text when she had another meltdown at her friends wedding. He didn’t end things until she had a major episode where there was an altercation in a car. He said she was going to crash the car as she was driving, he tried to stop her and they’d both been drinking. There’s quite a lot of gaps so the upshot is that he was arrested and charged for ABH for the incident in the car and she’s alleged two other incidents that she said occurred in their home with no witnesses. One where she alleges he pushed her in the kitchen and another was a fight in a hotel. At one point where they’d parted after a row I offered her a loan to set herself up in a rental property. I believed this may allow him the chance to break away from her. A loan agreement was drawn up and she’s now accused me of blackmailing her for her silence. I knew nothing of any physical fighting at the time. I’d add, that she only came forward with these allegations when she found out 6 months after they split up that he was with someone new. He’s been happy in this new relationship with lovely girl now for 2 years and is doing very well career wise as a primary school teacher. He decided to plead not guilty at magistrates court, choosing to go to trial to prove his innocence. The trial is early February and he’s struggling. He made some poor choices, failed to listen to any of his family while he was with this woman and he’s by no means perfect but he’s a good kind man and I can’t seem to make him believe he’s going to be ok. His biggest fear is that some 9 months after the split she’s shown the police images of bruising. He said she would often come home this way after going on a “bender” There’s so much more but any advice on a probable outcome from what I’ve outlined? I’m really not a daft mother who sees no wrong in her children. I would like to offer him some reassurance in a believable way. Thanks if you managed to get to the end.