My friend almost make me problem with the police

[Julia34]

Hi I am new there. This is my first topic. I am 34 year old had one 11 years old daughter. I am from Poland but live in UK over 12 years now. I got also polish friend who live in abusive relationship for long time. She every time cry to me that her partner beat her up etc. I give her advice to leave him call the police etc but she never did it. She only was txt me messages on WhatsApp telling me all bad stuff about him. Yesterday I got txt message from her :please call the police because my partner want hurt me". I called police straigh away in panic,but when I stop talking with policeman I notice she delete the message asking me to call the police and instead she txt me "oh nothing was happen don't call the police". Now I do had screenshots of messages she send me and the police are expected to talk with me anytime today. I got messages while she saying her partner beat her up, he control her, take away her money, she converted to Islam and she txt me he forced her to wear hijab etc I got all her mesages and I need to show now police otherwise it will be sound like I accusing someone innocent with will give me legal problems. I believe my friend was threaten by her partner to change her mind and she is emotionally attached to him as he is her son dad. I personally will not call the police but because she asked me to do I did it. Her partner is at police custody since last night I hope he still there and they not let him out for my friend safety. I just don't understand why my friend first asked me for help and now she deleted all the messages about her partner she send to me, but thank to God I was do screenshoots each times because I notice she txt me bad thing about her partner but then each time she is back with him so I was think myself "let do screenshoots so maybe if she tell her partner something bad about me I show him what she txt about him". But I never expected those screenshoots will save me if I never had them I will be having problems for false accusations. My friend not talk to me since morning. She know also her partner all family from Pakistan I let her know to not give nobody my adress because she will have legal problems as the police also asked her to not give nobody my adress but I still stress her partner family will be coming around and pressure me to withdraw my statement,but I can't do it because I know my friend is in danger she even told me "she afraid to call police because of her partner family ". Her partner she told me even swear on Quran to kill her

“if she tell her partner something bad about me I show him what she txt about him”

Do not do this unless you want to endanger your friend and cause her to be injured or killed. Sorry to be blunt, but you’re not a friend if you show those messages to her abusive partner.

I imagine your friend changed the messages either because she panicked and backtracked, which is very common for people in abusive relationships, and/or because she was afraid her partner would see what she sent. And on the backtracking front, it does make sense that she would ask for help and then panic and try to undo it - because asking for help is scary and risky and goes against the rules of surviving in her relationship.

I really don’t think you’re likely to have issues over ‘false accusations’ from the police. I think you did absolutely the right thing contacting them, including because a child is involved. I hope your friend is ok.

Yes you right .... I think the same she changed her mind in panic and fear. She txt me "don't call police because they will take my son from me". I let her know that nobody will take her child out of her and if family of her partner take away her son she can call police for kidnapping because her partner is not even on birth certificate he does nothing for the child maybe just 1% she raise her son struggling with money

She’s scared there will be repercussions. Keep the screenshots but don’t tell the partner.
You did the right thing at the time. Please don’t beat yourself up about it x

Yes you right I won't be show him the screenshoots for her safety. He is at police custody . I may be called to court for being witness with I have to say all truth yet my friend more worry about her son not having aggressive dad at home instead of be happy I save her from serious harm. He is dangerous

You may be called to court and you may face backlash from your friend.
Just know that you are saving her son from seeing and hearing abuse that he may now be saved from repeating the cycle.
No good deed goes unpunished as they say. But just remember that you definitely did the right thing x

Yes I know. I belive my friend will understand this. She is emotionally attached to him and I understand being years with each other can be hard to break up even with aggressive partner. My friend need psychological help and therapy. I do it for her and her son safety

You sound lovely. I hope everything works out your you and you’re friend ❤️

Thank you 🌷yes I hope this too all be ok.