What does your court order for your primary aged child look like with their father if there has been domestic abuse involved?

[TheMaskedSingSong]

Preparing for final hearing and proposing what contact with DD looks like.

He has been forcing overnights which have broken down twice during the course of proceedings.

There's been proven abuse, a psychological assessment and a section 37. It's all been awful.

DD is currently having full day contact with him on one day at the weekend. There wasn't enough of this prior to overnights and she struggled and was really distressed when going with him.

I think the eventual court order should be a stepped progression to EOW Friday pick up to Sunday back to me, no midweek and then half the holidays. He wants shared care having only ever really had supervised contact!

Midweek is disruptive for DD. She does set activities which I pay for which he wouldn't take her to, and even if he did they'd only get 45 minutes together.

Midweek overnight won't work as he lives 45 minutes away and she's never had midweek contact overnight with him. I think it would be really disruptive with her schooling.

He wants a shared lives with order but I think any order that there is needs to reflect the reality of DDs life in that she lives with me and spends time with him.

He's never cared for her equally the status quo was I brought her up and he saw her on weekends.

DD enjoys the day contact thoroughly as there are always lots of fun and expensive activities as well as spoiling with shopping trips.i feel a block of time at the weekend is much better for her and will nurture her relationship with him.

I think handovers at school on Fri is better so we don't have to see each other.

Just wondering what others court orders look like in similar situations to ours?

Are cafcass involved? What are the recommendations of the report?

Cafcass are. We have a God awful person. She's currently in the fathers favour but I know she doesn't agree with shared care or school drop offs/midweek overnights. My last conversation with them I was under the impression she agreed with me on the EOW Friday to Sunday and half the holidays. I said this level of contact is consistent for DD as I think midweeks get harder as they grow up and have homework and friends etc. If he had a midweek contact he wouldn't have time to bring her back to his and back. I also think he'll refuse to take her to her activity as he knows I fund it and it's just more conflict between us. I want contact arrangements to be as contact free as possible and I think cafcass person largely agrees. He just pushes at every hearing.

Instead of the midweek, how about her return her to school the Monday. Dh does this with his dc. They come EOW Fri after school until Monday to school. Half school holidays. Alternate christmas, birthdays.

The mid week didn't work due to the nature of his job and rhe distance travel as their school is an hour away .

So cafcass don't agree to school drop offs as he lives much further away and Dd literally can walk to school. During my discussions with them they're largely on the same page of it being Friday to Sunday EOW.

Thats awful that she has to have overnight contact in those circumstances. I am at the beginning of court proceedings and I am really dreading it all.