My story is very saddening.
Me and my husband have been together for over 27 years. We have had major up & downs. A lot of heartache and grief. I don't want to talk about the past because it's not relevant. I want to conclude on what is happening here & now.
We have lived apart for 9 yrs because we couldn't live together due to his problems.
He moved away to go to work & we just carried on from there. However we fell out I cut contact. He tried to reach out but I rejected it. I told him I can't return to marriage. During the 6 months we didn't speak I missed him. I reached out but it got heated with him feeling angry why I made contact now. This was a year ago. Since then there has been me chasing him to repair things. Him pulling back didn't know what he wanted. I want out with my daughter to see him. He was very emotional for us both. He showed affection but it was different more of a mutual respectful way.
I then caught him liking women's profile on insta. We spoke he apologised and deleted them. It happened few times again. I went for 10 days. We talked about things, he was on and off but didn't want to be physical.
As I left he said I love u. I assumed we will be back on track slowly. Well it was the worst time ever. He put me through so much rejection. I accepted it as him feeling confused & I can't force a persons feelings. I eventually told him we either do this or not. I gave him a ultimatum. I won't bother him anymore & will move on with my life. Then he said he wanted to try at the marriage. I pulled back allowed him to make the efforts. Recently I told him I wasn't happy with the lack of efforts & he should go his way I go mine. He got upset over it & said do what is best for u. I took this quite badly.
Next day he rang me after I sent him a lengthy text to say how I felt & that his lack off calls & cold behaviour isn't helping. I said I only tried to resolve & work things out.
He rang me next day. Said he was upset when I said go ur way. We spoke it out & after that he called me more, started responding to my texts with hearts and kissing 😘 face. He started acting more like he wanted to commit. He would ask where I am when speaking to my daughter. In our last conversation he asked me what I tell work colleagues if am married. I said I keep my private life private. This was really because I don't want to tell people I am married incase he don't return home or we officially break up.
Now the real problem here is this. I found out he booked a hotel for 2 people. He never mentioned anything to me even though he stays in an apartment. He booked for his birthday. I snooped on his email. I also found junk mail to find a partner. When I investigated further, it he set up a app on phone for meeting Russian and Ukrainian women. The notifications go to junk mail. He blanked my calls when at hotel. I sent a happy birthday message he replied with ❤️😘. Then I tried calling again next day no response. I told him I tried to reach him. He replied he was dead! Meaning he's shattered. I thought sure u see if you have been up all night with another chick ! Our daughter tried to call him no response. He eventually called her back then she told him I was unwell . I been so upset over whole thing, I told my daughter I was unwell so she didn't know it was over her dad as I don't want her exposed to my mental state. He called me sat in some hotel room asking me if am okay. I was so angry by this point. I tried to not show it. I said I was fine & if he had a nice birthday. He said it was like any other normal day. He was going for dinner. He never said who he was with or where. I just didn't want to talk further I just said have a nice dinner & I cut him off.
I haven't spoken to him since. I am trying to figure out what he would call & send messages like that if he's with somebody else with no real interest to work things out. Was he stringing me all along all this time. He's not meant to be where he is. He's over stayed but loves the life there. Now he did plan to leave last week but couldn't. I don't have any real proof he's with another women. But why be so discreet about all this. I feel like just cutting him off & walking away or do i confront but will I be lied to.