Don't know if childs father on remand or not. Worried

[Leabee1234]

Hi. So I have a 16 month old son with childs dad who is going through another long awful custody battle with his ex of his othe 2 children. She has claimed domestic violence then dropped got back with him and he has never been charged. Recently she accused him of abusing her children. Which has really upset me as I have never seen this and he has always been good with our son. So he's had a weekly 1 hour supervised visit whilst he is on bail as they said they haven't charged him yet and are goint to investigate. This woman won't tell me any information his ex and has blocked me on everything. When I was pregnant she begged my sons dad to be with her and was horrible to me but I still allowed my son to be a dad. They had a custody battle and mt sons dad said she's trying everything to ruin it so now she's said he's abused the children. Bail was until end of December however my sons dad's phone has been off for days now I have contacted tbe family and they said police was looking for him . I don't know if this is him breaching bail conditions or if they have charged him for child abuse. I don't even know if he's in prison or on remand or where he is and nor does his family and I am really concerned. I have tried calling police stations they won't give me any information. If he is on remand I don't know why and how long and I haven't even been given any information on these allegations and social workers have been involved with me and my child now due to it even though I didn't have a cause of concern until this. I feel really upset and at a loss as he's my sons dad and I am worried but no one will tell me anything and I'm.compleyelty in the dark is there anyone j can ask for advice or see what is happening

Not really, no, the social worker might know. My advice is to make a Claire’s law request to the police to see if he has a history of domestic abuse.
The police will tell you if he does although it does sound likely based on what you say.

sounds like you need to keep him out of your life.

If he is on remand I don't know why and how long and I haven't even been given any information on these allegations and social workers have been involved with me and my child now due to it even though I didn't have a cause of concern until this

I think that if he'd wanted you to know where he was, he would have contacted you by now.

You might not have had any concerns before but so far, you've only really had his side of the story.

Whatever has or hasn't gone on, I think that to protect you and your DS you should ring the non-emergency number first the Police and ask for a disclosure under Claire's Law and co-operate fully with the SWs.

Thank you I will be contacting my social.worker

How did you get on today?

There's a Government Web page, Google find a prisoner UK and it will come up. If he is in prison, and he agrees, they will tell you where he is.

Hi he has been remanded until January. As he breached bail conditions. His bail was due to end in December and he had not been charged for anything as it was still under investigation. All I know is he's being held until January. I've felt so stressed and upset with all of this going on. I think not seeing our son now will top him over the edge

Do a Claire's Law request.
Your child is very young and vulnerable and needs protecting. Your focus should be on this, NOT worrying about a grown man. If he was innocent / reasonable / sensible he would not have breached his bail conditions.

I think not seeing our son now will top him over the edge
That is not your problem. Your priority has to be the safety of your child and you.

I have put a request in today. I know that i am doing the best I can I protect him with everything I have it's just a difficult time. My son will always be my priority and my focus

If he has been remanded in to custody then he has been charged with something

This might be slightly outing but I deal with breaches of bail conditions regularly. What he's done must be realiy, really serious to warrant remand.

Have you spoken to him? Did he say what he did to breach his bail conditions?

I would be very concerned if I was you that a he has bail conditions and b that he thinks it's ok to breach them.

Have the Police been in touch yet about your Claire's Law request?

Hi so I found out he is on bail for harassment of his ex also . I think he may have gone by her house when he's not allowed to and she has cameras that's all know. I have done a claires law request still waiting on the information. I just feel like im being kept in the dark and not knowing anything I have been asking so many people police solicitors social workers and no one will tell me anything

Ffs sake not another one for your child's sake concentrate on contraception and focus on your child and yes this is harsh

Why on earth are you involved with this

It's hard I know but I think that you need to start to move away from him both physically and mentally.

Breaking bail conditions is very serious. They must think that his ex is at serious risk of harm from him.

Don't think that you need to know much more than he's been accused of violence against her/his DC and instead of keeping his distance he's gone around there when he had bail conditions saying that he shouldn't.

From experience this can be the behaviour of an extremely dangerous man.

I would stop any contact with him. Stop asking after him and start building a new life for yourself and your DS

I'd also look at doing the Freedom Programme so that hopefully you don't choose a violent criminal next time

This is harsh. I have one child I was with this man and have known him for years and I had no idea that this was going to happen. I am focusing on my child I just wanted facts and evidence before stopping contact permanently as he has always said he will take me to court for half custody if I stop contact either way. My son is my focus thank you I am a first time mother and this has been difficult

. I am focusing on my child I just wanted facts and evidence before stopping contact permanently as he has always said he will take me to court for half custody if I stop contact either way.

So he's been threatening you? That doesn't sound pleasant.

Can you talk to your SW about what they advise regarding stopping contact?

He's always said he would go for half if I stopped contact but yes this is valid reason to stop contact

Do you think that his ex has a Non-Molestation Order or a Civil Injunction against him and he's on remand for breaching one of those?

Hopefully the Police can shed more light on the situation when they contact you about any findings under Claire's Law.

If he has either of those there must be significant threat of harm to her and/or his DC. They aren't given out lightly.

If he does have either I very much doubt he's going to be awarded 50/50 for your DS.

I don't even know anything. I have just spoken to my social worker and they have said they can't obtain any information and the police won't give me any information either. So I'm just being kept in tbe dark

Haven't they got back to you yet after your request regarding Claire's Law? Thats a bit odd

No I requested clares law a week ago. It is strange no one is telling me anything