Help - trying to understand trusts

[PicaK]

My and I co-parent well. Neither of us have wills in place yet. We also have 2 kids - one of whom has SEN which means she probably won't ever be financially competent.
We neither of us have an issue with the other handling the kids money if one of us dies. We both know that each other's surviving relatives would make it damn awkward if they were trustees of a trust and agree our mutual friends would be much better.
Starting to look into wills and trusts. Would we each have a trust or would there be one trust we'd both pay into.
Neither of us have remarried or cohabited - tho ex has a serious girlfriend but no plans to cohabited atm. Obviously we'd redo the wills if we did remarry to incorporate provision for a new partner- but would the trust stuff remain the same?
Very confused. Grateful for any pointers as to how it works before first conversation with a solicitor

This first thing to be aware of is that marriage revokes a Will (unless specifically made ‘in contemplation of marriage’ with specific wording included in the Will).

If the trust is set up in a Will you would each have your own trust in your own Will as Wills are individual not joint documents. It is a good idea to have a trust for young children and in many circumstances, older children too. Your choice of trustee is very important you could consider appointing a solicitor as one of the trustees to ensure your wishes are carried out. You can leave a ‘letter of wishes’ that you trust your trustee to follow.

"...before first conversation with a solicitor"

There is a body called the Society of Trust and Estate Practitioners (STEP). Solicitors that have qualified to become members of this society really do have a great deal of knowledge and experience in the area of trusts. If you google something like "STEP solicitor [name of your town]" you will get a list of local solicitors.

The advice will be very specific to your own situation, including if either of you will likely leave an estate that will have to pay inheritance tax (IHT).

For example, if IHT might be an issue then it may be beneficial to set up a trust for your DD with SEN before you die but not necessarily for the other child. If IHT won't be an issue then you don't need to consider this.

"...she probably won't ever be financially competent."

It all gets very complicated and you need advice tailored to your particular situation. You would each individually leave any assets to your DC and likely leave any assets to your DD with SEN in trust.

If your DD qualifies for certain benefits such as PIP or DLA etc then there are various tax advantages for the trust.

In addition, anything held in the trust will not be counted when she is assessed for any means tested benefits.

You will each leave assets in your will separately but you can both nominate the same person or people to act as trustees. So there will be two separate trusts but the same people will be responsible for both of them (if that is what you want to happen).

The best thing to do is to explain to the solicitor in simple language what you want to achieve and they will then go about making that happen.

Thanks both for the advice