Family Court - trying to understand what might happen, anyone been?

[LambChopsMcGee]

Hi!

So I wasn't sure whether to put this here or the Separation thread.

My ex wants to go to mediation as we can't agree a change to DD's schedule between us (I could go into more detail but it might not be relevant... I characterise our relationship as emotionally abusive in the past and I found him very difficult, and there has been some recent harassment by text - might be relevant?)

I am hoping we manage to agree something at mediation, though I have offered my compromise and he his (his is not much of one) and I fear we will get nowhere. He says he is getting legal advice.

I need to find out what will happen if we do go to court. I presume I need a lawyer, for one. Those are expensive but I'm not sure if I am looking at £2000 or £10,000 here...

But I also have no idea what will happen. We put forward the case and the judge tells us what we have to do in terms of her custody? Might they take into account the harassment?

Part of why I want to change (from the current schedule) is a feeling that I have to ask permission for thing (eg if I want to go away for a few nights), but I also just want longer with my daughter as she swaps v frequently at the moment.

Sorry for the vagueness. I don't even know what questions to ask. Previously we have been v amicable and had no formal plan but it's all fallen apart recently. We have been separated for 2 years already.

Any advice appreciated.

Unless you want to represent yourself, you will need a lawyer.

If it goes to court then yes, you each put forward your case and the judge decides what should happen. What matters in terms of the decision is your daughter's best interests.

I would avoid court if you can to be honest, the only winner will be your solicitor, sorry I know that sounds negative.
It's a very hit & miss system, basically, it boils down to what the judge thinks. Yes they may take your ex's texts into consideration but if it's not really a pattern then maybe not.
Have there been police involvement,?
How old are your DC's?
If you can avoid it I would, it's stressful & expensive

ex what?

Ah - good clarification. We were not married but lived together

You say it's all fallen apart recently after working well for 2 years. Is that because one of you has got a new partner?

I wouldn't go to court to be honest. If your ex takes you to court then thats up to him. What are you asking for and what is he asking for? Is it really very different to what you used to do? Whats changed to make the arrangement break down?

Tell us more about your current schedule and what you're proposing