Parental alienation

[Orchidlie22]

I'm being accused of this!

Anyone been in a similar situation or experience with this claim?

I believe it's is completely false and unsure how it can be proved unless the truth isn't told in court!

Not enough information here for anyone to give an opinion. Are CAFCASS involved? Do you have a solicitor and an FCA? Many alienating parents are unable to see or accept that their behaviour amounts to alienation - which is why an FCA has/will be appointed to assess whether the accusation has any substance. They will speak with you, with your ex, and with the DC in establishing the evidence they’ll bring to court.

What is an FCA?

Have yet to speak to CAFCASS but guessing yes they'll be involved.

Teenage child no longer wants to see Dad. He can't accept it and blames me, hence court!

Parental alienation has not been accepted into UK law. There is no evidence that it exists, it was a theory from one psychologist with no empirical evidence. I found this article that explains it a bit but there is an amazing woman doing studies in the UK family courts that I will link tomorrow but need my work laptop!

amp.theguardian.com/global-development/2022/jun/12/parental-alienation-and-the-unregulated-experts-shattering-childrens-lives

FCA = Family Court Adviser. Unless the court can conclude the case in its initial stages, the FCA will be appointed to carry out a more detailed assessment of the disputed issues, write a report to the court about DC’s welfare and advise the court about what is in DC’s best interests.

Teenagers are generally considered to have greater capacity to make their own decision about whether they want contact with a parent and on what terms, but the court will still want to establish whether this is based on their own feelings and conclusions about their dad, or whether it’s likely that you’ve played a part in creating or reinforcing a negative view of him. This may be obvious at first hearing without things needing to go further, particularly if DC is an older teen: courts are well aware that forcing an e.g. 16-year-old to have unwanted contact is incredibly challenging.

@Notnewbutveryold that's an interesting read, thank you.
If it's not recognised in the UK courts what dues that mean to my case?
I believe my ex is an abuser and this is another example of his abuse towards me.
He's taken me to to court my first the 4th time in 10 years and I abide by the CAO and "give" him more when he requests!

To say it has not been accepted into UK law is somewhat misleading. There is no specific law for dealing with parental alienation, but it is recognised in the courts. If the courts find that the parent with care has deliberately set out undermine their child's relationship with the other parent without justification, they will take steps to counter it. In serious cases, this can include changing which parent the child lives with.

So you've always abided by the CAO but now your DC is a teenager they don't want to go? Don't worry about it. How old is DC? They can't be forced to go for contact they don't want once they reach the age of capacity (which does vary, but usually 12-14)

Eldest is 14, youngest is 9!

If anything I could claim PA as ex wrote nasty things in a joint chat our eldest was on and read! Ex then had to apologise to him and 2 days later he didn't want to see him!

This is accurate.

You can read an introduction here: https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/parent-carer-or-family-member/applications-child-arrangements-order/how-your-family-court-adviser-makes-their-assessment-your-childs-welfare-and-best-interests/alienating-behaviours?origin=serp_auto

The sections 'Behaviours exhibited by a child where they have experienced alienation or implacable hostility' and 'Behaviours demonstrated by a parent who is intermittently or persistently alienating' within CAFCASS's document 'Alienating Behaviours Thinking Practice Aid' give you the framework. Link here (hopefully this works...): www.cafcass.gov.uk/sites/default/files/2023-09/Alienating-Behaviours-Thinking-Tool%20%281%29.docx

Alienating behaviours are usually considered 'in the round' i.e. seemingly innocuous incidents might not be so innocuous in the context of multiple other similar acts/omissions. They can be unconscious as well as conscious.

As ever, the burden of proof is on the one making the allegations.

If it were me, I'd start by asking for a clear list of the specific allegations aligned to the CAFCASS list of behaviours.

And take legal advice if you have access / can afford that route.

Best wishes.

Of course, you quote the Guardian and this "amazing woman"

Why does the ex-CEO of CAFCASS say PA exists, and should be treated as any other abuse?

https://www.voiceofthechild.org.uk/kb/presentation-parental-alienation-anthony-douglas-cafcass/#:~:text=Parental%20Alienation%2C%20High%20Conflict%2C%20Implacable,the%20emotional%20abuse%20of%20children.

There’s relatively new guidance on this which might well be of interest:

https://www.judiciary.uk/related-offices-and-bodies/advisory-bodies/family-justice-council/resources-and-guidance/parental-alienation/

The main points from the guidance seem to be, that: alienating behaviours can be a thing and a serious concern in a very small number of cases; there is absolutely no evidence of parental alienation syndrome as a disorder; the accusation of parental alienation and bringing court proceedings is recognised as a vehicle for perpetuating post-separation abuse and control; and that actions by the supposed alienated parent can render accusations of parental alienation not proved.

i am not a lawyer and this is a lay persons understanding. I hope you get some orefossional support OP.

I just wanted to post this as I feel the guidance is really quite clear-sighted, helpful and impartial.

This is also helpful alongside the commentary about alienating behaviours, to show when a child may be justified in refusing contact.

https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/sites/default/files/2023-09/Childrens-resistance-or-refusal-to-spending-time-a-parent-guide%20%282%29.pdf

Absolute nonsense.

here’s a great win and a devastating (for you) example.

If anything it sounds as though he is coercive and controlling, and using litigation to control you.

on what basis is he alleging alienation?

Well

Look up Dr Charlotte Proudman. She is a barrister with lots of experience in this area
https://www.instagram.com/p/DND1ObkMHPo/?igsh=MWl1ZjM5MWk1Ym5hcw==

and she has had some great cases too

@LabradorOwner9 oh come on now. Tired, basic memes about evil mothers don't do your argument any favours. People of both sexes can be evil. Parents do occasionally alienate their children from the other parent. Men are disproportionately likely to abuse the court process to perpetuate continuing abuse. All of these things can be true at the same time. And daft reductive images of hellfire women just make me think, fathers for justice/ dad.info “all my exes are psychos” complete bollocks.

So true www.facebook.com/share/r/1MUsxrWW2M/?mibextid=wwXIfr

See, I’ve got a Labrador that has more emotional maturity than that.

What do you hope to achieve by posting links to ranty cobblers on CockTok?

She is a radical feminist, get over yourself

The key here is that PA is when they stop wanting to see other parent for no reason. You have to evidence all the reasons fhe child came to a conclusion alone and that it was a reasonable conclusion based on other parents behaviour.