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Thoughts on non mol?

5 replies

mm87 · 20/10/2024 11:48

I've been to the police about my ex again. Have made previous reports but this is the first one in a while.

They've said it's an option to arrest/interview him/put bail conditions in place but I'm fearful of this.

The other option suggested is a non molestation order but again I'm fearful and worried I will look silly or it won't be taken seriously.

We share a child together, he's never been an involved parent and isn't on the birth certificate but over the past few months has asked for contact. We agreed EOW but he often changes or doesn't make it.

He will then suggest days/times at short notice which aren't suitable (if he gave more notice they may be!).

I keep my replies short, calm and formal. I don't give any emotional response. Simply "x isn't available on that day due to pre existing plans however you are welcome to have x on x y or z date".

He continues to send me email upon email, text message upon text message. These are very, very long. The content is around child contact saying that I'm preventing it, threatening solicitors, saying he will come to my house to get our child whether I like it or not.

No direct threats but I feel threatened by them. I've advised him months ago to speak to a family solicitor and we can make a formal arrangement through mediation or court.

I don't think he wants to do this so I think the bullying/threats with relentless emails are his way or trying to scare me into accepting what he wants (which is just to turn up as and when).

He's said he will come to my house. He also sent family members to my house when it wasn't agreed to try and take our child (saw on ring doorbell and he also told me in writing this is what they were there for).

Family members have been calling/texting me too.

He's said in email he's taken pictures of himself at the front of my house when I wasn't there (bizarre and creepy).

When we were in a relationship he was physically abusive and controlling, this was reported to police but many years ago.

Around 2 years ago he was reported to police for turning up at my house unannounced, parking his car down the road so I couldn't see he was there (he told me this). At the time he was also harassing me with messages (ignored) and messaging my friends, sending unwanted gifts etc.

I'm just worried that what's happening currently isn't "bad" enough, although the police said it's definitely harassment. I think it's just in the context of his past behaviour that it is putting me in fear- every time I leave my house I am on edge and looking down the road to see if his car is there.

I'm also worried he will be able to get away with it as current "abuse" is over child contact so it may be seen as reasonable.

I've got 9 emails from him in 3 weeks- as well as more text messages.

If anyone has any advice I would really appreciate it.

OP posts:
mm87 · 20/10/2024 13:35

Bump

OP posts:
JustAnotherLawyer2 · 20/10/2024 15:53

You have your answer, the police said they can arrest him.

Apply for an NMO.

Collaborate · 21/10/2024 08:25

You have enough for a non molestation order. Go for it.

Mumof3confused · 22/10/2024 23:03

Apply for a NMO. You’ll likely get it

mm87 · 23/10/2024 09:21

Hi,
Thanks all for responses. I don't have anyone to talk to about this really. I just feel like I'm being silly.

Spoke to NCDV and they took a statement, been passed on to solicitors now. So should hopefully know soon whether it will be possible.

OP posts:
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