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Marital home

8 replies

Notsurequitewhattodo · 19/10/2024 15:48

Hi, name changed for this as it's very outing. I left my H seven years ago. He remained in our home, I had got a job quite far away so moved into rented. Children were already adults by this point. One lived there ft and still does, others back and forth in Uni holidays. We are still not divorced. The reason is that I will not proceed until I have a clear idea about finances. It suits him not to proceed because he doesn't want to move but crucially doesn't want to give me a penny of what he sees as his money. We have had several discussions around money but it's the house we cannot get anywhere on. He doesn't want to sell and buy somewhere else but neither will he buy me out. My name is on the mortgage and deeds so I can't get a new mortgage. The reason why I haven't, yet, instructed a solicitor is because he's really nasty. I was hoping he would agree to our financial arrangements before going any further. However I now realise this was stupid of me. It was a pattern in my marriage, trying not to antagonise him. I'm perfectly happy for him to keep the house if he buys me out. His argument is that to do that he would have to extend the mortgage which he is close to paying off. But even I think the situation can't go on, because I feel massively hard done to. I need a kick up the arse. Please advise v

OP posts:
theemptinessmachine · 19/10/2024 15:58

You have paid rent for 7 years? You need to get the divorce process started asap.

Notsurequitewhattodo · 19/10/2024 16:01

theemptinessmachine · 19/10/2024 15:58

You have paid rent for 7 years? You need to get the divorce process started asap.

Yes seven years. I had to do a lot of working my way back up after I left but now am in a position I think to be able to get a mortgage but obviously can't be on two mortgages so I'm stuck.

OP posts:
shellyleppard · 19/10/2024 16:04

Can't you get divorced after living separately for five years??? Think its called a no fault divorce??

theemptinessmachine · 19/10/2024 16:07

You can get a no fault divorce now. This will force him to make moves regarding your home.

Notsurequitewhattodo · 19/10/2024 16:09

shellyleppard · 19/10/2024 16:04

Can't you get divorced after living separately for five years??? Think its called a no fault divorce??

Yes, the divorce part is straightforward, you can do it online but I think there's a question about have you sorted your finances out. We haven't and I could just put yes but then I think he just wouldn't give me anything. The only lever I have us a really good solicitor. I just don't know what I'm entitled to.

OP posts:
WeeOrcadian · 19/10/2024 16:12

Him being a PITA is irrelevant to you instructing a solicitor to proceed

Keep any and all conversations on email / text so you have records

Speak to a legal professional and get the ball rolling

theemptinessmachine · 19/10/2024 16:14

The settling of the finances comes after the initial application and in most cases before the final.

Notsurequitewhattodo · 19/10/2024 16:29

theemptinessmachine · 19/10/2024 16:14

The settling of the finances comes after the initial application and in most cases before the final.

Thank you, that's really useful to know.

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